We Know Who Posted the Danny DeVito Pictures!!!

You won't believe who it is!!!


On what seemed like a typical Thursday at the Academic Magnet High School, a mass of Danny DeVitos began to suddenly appear around the school. At first, it seemed as if there were only one or two pasted up on the walls. But as the day went on, students gradually began to notice the massive quantity of Danny DeVitos scattered around. Danny Devito on the wall. Danny DeVito on the window. Danny DeVito on the trash can. Danny DeVito on Ms. Pinckney’s office door. Danny DeVito on the teacher bathroom mirror. He was everywhere. 


Danny DeVito is a household name thanks to his work in the hit sit-com, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. However, many of us became familiar with his charming on screen personality when he appeared as Harry Wormwood in the childhood classic movie, Matilda. Today he is a household name and a pop culture icon.


The school was buzzing about the assortment of Danny DeVito photos so we decided to ask around to see what people thought. When asked for his opinion of the incident senior, Charlie Hale, revealed that he thinks that, “it’s kinda hot”. Swedish foreign exchange student Christian Axenbourg seemed to agree responding “Isn’t he in Seinfeld? He is hot”. Additionally, Nick Patterson shared an inside look about his man crush exclaiming, “seeing his pictures made me ‘excited’!” Even the student body president, Davis Leath, revealed his strong admiration for Danny DeVito. We had no idea that the Magnet population, particularly the males, had such an intense attraction to this famous

“It’s kinda hot” – Charlie Hale


When continuing to ask around about the photos, we found that the pictures generated feelings of glee. The senior class president, Will Schnell, confessed, “It’s the first thing to bring me happiness in 10 years”. In addition, junior, Collin Brientnall, expressed his excitement when he said, “I’m glad that I’m finally able to see a representation of my culture at school”.  However, it seems that a small group of students were left uncomfortable by the display.
Sophomore John Alex O’Neil rudely commented on Mr. Devito’s short stature, commenting “He looks like an oompa loompa. Why can’t he just grow?!.” Well, John Alex… maybe that’s because he has a disease called
epiphyseal dysplasia, a rare genetic disorder that affects his bone growth.Lucas Haas, another  resource, stated “It makes me really uncomfortable. Whoever did it should be expelled.” The only explanation for his harsh words is that he is simply jealous of Danny Devito’s good looks. But remember Lucas, jealousy is a disease. Get well soon. 



“It’s the first thing to bring me happiness in 10 years” – Will Schnell 


The event became so popular that without even asking, we could hear the feedback about the caper being screamed throughout the halls. We overheard Mr. McCormick ask himself, “Why are there pictures of Danny Devito on the wall? That’s so random”. Later, while sitting in the senior lounge we heard senior, Jack Dillard, say, “I have MAD respect for them,” referring to the person responsible for committing this act. Additionally, we received a report that a group of freshman boys were heard commenting about the pictures in the hallway saying, “OMG Danny DeVito! I love your work” paying homage to the popular movie Mean Girls.


Even the internet was buzzing! Two magnet meme accounts posted about the event.


















Everyone seemed to be curious about the identity of the guilty party. It did not take long before rumors began to spread. First, we noticed that there was a consistent suspicion of the sophomore class. We had multiple sources tell us they suspected the sophomores, mostly due to the fact that they have focus during the time that the pictures were put up. However, Senior, Will Kronsberg, was quite certain it was the freshmen. The only sufficient evidence needed to disprove this claim is that no freshman would dare attempt to cross Ms. Pinckney. Our favorite theory came from a freshman who told Mrs. Pinckney that they think she administered a lockdown in order to secretly lurk around the school and anonymously put up the pictures. Sadly, this theory was immediately discredited by Mrs. Pinckney.  


The event has left people baffled. Who would have done a thing like this? And why? Even Mrs. Pinckney knew there was only one answer. There were only two people in the entire school that were capable of such shenanigans. The answer: Caroline Hyde and Bailey Hillen


We did not have any particular motive for doing this, besides the fact that we are very big fans of the legend, Danny DeVito and we were bored and thought it would be funny. We were happily surprised by the amount of commotion this caused. For the most part, the incident was very well received by both the students and faculty members. We would like to thank Caroline’s mom for having such a high quality printer, without which we would not have the vivid images of our hero. We would also like to throw out a big thank you to Mrs. Hurt, Mrs. Pinckney, and everyone else in on the scheme for not revealing our little secret to the rest of the school. I hope you enjoyed the pictures and will continue to give your support to the greatest man alive, Danny DeVito.