Like Dayquil, But Not At All

How I Got Rid of a Cold INSTANTLY (Not A Joke)

I am very afraid of vomit—not that it is a common cold symptom to begin with...

I am very afraid of vomit—not that it is a common cold symptom to begin with…

I woke up on Monday morning feeling sick as a dog. I knew it was coming, of course—on Saturday night, I felt the itchy onset raking at the back of my throat like a cough that wouldn’t come out, I felt my head fill with mucus, heavy, viscous mucus, when I laid my head on the pillow that night, the following day, my nostril’s floodgates were opened, and it reminded me of that one part of the Children’s Museum where you can burst the dam on the innocent plastic town, only, this time, my nose got chapped from the overuse of sandpaper-tissues—so, when I woke up on Monday, I wasn’t surprised by my sudden desire to be dead (not literally, not that you would have read it that way anyway, but I’m too superstitious to risk it). My first thought was to take a Dayquil, but, you see, Dayquils are very large pills and I don’t like that, so I decided not to. Next, I wanted food, but I had decided the night before to do a 5-Day water fast (when you only drink water for 5 days, no food, no juice, no nothing), so I just grabbed some water and that was that. 

My Breakfast, Mid-Morning snack, Lunch, Mid-afternoon snack, and Dinner.

It started off fine: I showed up to Spanish class, had a good time, learned, all that jazz. My nose was pretty runny and I felt miserable, but I powered through. Next, I went to English, and again, I just drank water. Still felt kind of dead, but what can a guy do? By the time I got to Newspaper, I was feeling much better, not good, but much better. I left early that day for a dental appointment—not a medical appointment. Again, no food, just water. I chilled at home for a bit then my Lily O for ice cream like we do every Monday. I didn’t get any, but I paid for hers, ‘cuz #ChivalryIsNotDead… and ‘cuz it was my week to pay. We then went to our 6-7:30 class, just water, no food, and by then I felt perfectly fine. When I got home, I felt so much better, and honestly not hungry, but my dad made Lo Mein, which is very tasty and not an offer one should pass up, so I had a bit. By a bit, I mean I WENT HAM on that stuff (“going ham” being an idiom, as I do not eat pig products due to my religious diet). The next day, I was all better. Coincidence? I think not.