How to Survive the Winter as a Summer Person

"Survive" may be an overstatement.

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I hate winter. In fact, I don’t believe anyone who says they like the winter. Winter is no one’s favorite season, I’m quite convinced, and everyone who claims that it’s theirs is lying to themselves and others to seem more deep and brooding. I see through all of you. You can like the idea of winter, but the fact is, the feeling of icy cold stiff-jointed hands and a frozen face is miserable. You can’t just casually spend time outside in the winter. Everything has to take place indoors which is just inconvenient because there are many more public outdoor spaces than public indoor spaces. Where are you supposed to hang out with friends? A library? I mean come on, you can only go get food so many times. 

Regardless of how stupid and useless the winter is (don’t get me started on its effect on the economy (decreased tourism to coastal cities like ours, less agricultural output, etc.)), we all have to survive it, so I’ve compiled a few methods I use to get by (barely) in this awful excuse for a season (its no coincidence that “winter” and “worst” both start with the same letter). 

 

Stay at the beach

Surprisingly, the beach doesn’t just get up and leave when temperatures hit 60. It’s still there; you can still go to it. Really, you can. 

 

There are plenty of things to do at the beach in the winter. You can go on runs and work out on the beach, and its almost better than doing so in the summer as there will be less of an audience and you won’t sweat nearly as much. Personally, I like to go surfing even in the winter, just make sure you have a wetsuit and an experienced buddy, as it can be more dangerous in the cold. 

 

Cuff Up

I know, I know, easier said than done, but biologically, everyone is more inclined towards relationships and companionship in the winter. So your chances are statistically higher right now than any other time (I think that’s how statistics work, but I’m only in Honors). Summer flings are overrated, winter romances should be more commonplace. And if you can’t find the guy or girl for you, don’t miss out on the winter dates (apple picking, Festival of Lights, polar plunge), just get a group of friends and bask in single-dom.  

 

Pretend the winter is your friend

Fake it til you make it. Be that (fake) winter-loving person. Embrace every wintery tradition. Go ice skating and drink hot chocolate and make a fire. Create a dope winter wardrobe to get you excited to get out of bed in the morning and look fresh. Whatever it takes.

 

Pretend the winter is your enemy

Obviously, the winter is your enemy, but I mean literally pretend that the winter is a human person that you resent, but are determined to beat. I personally subscribe to this mindset, which was inspired by a struggle between Mr. Percy and the newly installed Promethean Boards. As a master of the SMART Board, Mr. Percy was initially upset to hear of the change. One day, however, I asked if he was mad about the boards and he simply said “No. I’m going to beat it.” He was not gonna let it have him. He was going to become its master. That is the type of energy that is required here. 

As a thought exercise: Imagine a stupid-looking person with a punchable face that’s just slightly shorter than you. They’re mildly annoying and think they’re really cool. Now imagine you are playing them in basketball or chess or whatever game you choose. You are determined to beat them. Take them down to their lowly level. This person’s name is winter. You just have to outplay them, ya know?

 

Prepare for the summer (just a little bit)

Mourning the end of last summer is not healthy. Neither is spending every moment obsessing over your next summer’s plans, but a little foresight can be helpful. 

Buy bathing suits and sunglasses now, as they will be cheaper than in May and June. If you are worried about missing out on the trends of the season by buying preemptively, just remember that the fashion industry has already decided what stupes they are going to push, and they’re out there already. Also, don’t worry about being trendy just yet, you can buy the basics and add seasonal accessories later. Trends are perpetrated by corporate interests hoping to (and succeeding at) increasing consumption. Ignore them all. Eat the rich.  

I recommend if you are going to start a countdown to the summer that you phrase it just a little more optimistically. Rather than calling it “Days til summer” think about it more like “Days left of winter” as a reminder that you only have so many days to do fun winter activities (which you are to pretend are fun, remember?) 

 

Overall, as winter comes to a close, the final days tend to feel colder and more unbearable than ever. Just remember, that unless you move to an equatorial nation, winter is going to make up half of your entire life. It’s important to build a lifestyle for your winters so you don’t spend 3 months a year in misery. Good luck.