If I Were A Cop, I’d Give You A Ticket For Going Too Slow

An Open Letter To Drivers Who Take Mixson Avenue

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If I Were A Cop, I’d Give You A Ticket For Going Too Slow

"Ma'am, do you know how slow you were going?"

"Ma'am, do you know how slow you were going?"

"Ma'am, do you know how slow you were going?"

Dear Anyone Who Travels To And From School Via Mixson Avenue,

Of course, there are many routes to and from the Bonds-Wilson Campus. Depending on where you live, you may choose to take Rivers Ave to Durant Ave to Mixson Ave as a part of your morning commute (the reverse belonging to your afternoon). For starters, if you are one of those people, I commend you. I like to think we are a minority, and this shared route offers us a series of unique experiences heading to and from school. Who witnessed the dog get hit by a car on the way to school last month? Who remembers when the Restaurant Depot was robbed, which led to a car accident, which led to the Intersection of Rivers and McMillan being shut down? Good times. Or what about the daily struggle to drive down Mixson when cars are parked in those super-close-to-the-street-street-parking spots? Hard stuff. That being said: IF YOU CAN’T HANDLE DRIVING DOWN MIXSON AT THE CORRECT SPEED LIMIT, DON’T DRIVE DOWN IT AT ALL! 

 

The single lanes on Mixson Ave that are surrounded by a raised median and street parking.

I understand it may be daunting, but the lanes on Mixson Ave are the correct width of a lane on any other road—I’m assuming—so you should be capable of driving down it at the set speed limit. On my average commute, I probably travel behind someone who likes to meander down Mixson at about 20 mph. If I am traveling down Mixson sans escort, I probably go about 40 mph. Which one of us is within ± 5 mph of the actual speed limit? I am. 

 

The speed limit on Mixson Avenue is 35 mph. I repeat: the speed limit on Mixson Avenue is 35 mph. If I learned anything from driver training with Coach Williams—scratch that, I learned EVERYTHING from her—it is that if you are going to drive 10-15 mph below the posted speed limit, you must make use of your hazards. Do I see hazards on my morning commute? No. If I were a cop, would I pull you over for this? Yes… but I would probably also be too busy at that time of day to stake out in the parking lot of a condo development that seems to always be under construction. 

The moral of the story is not that you have to go 40 mph on Mixson. Of course, you should never go faster than you are comfortable with, especially when hitting innocent little parked cars, which generally jut into the lane, is at stake, but do you really need to go 20 mph? School buses take this road too, school buses that are considerably wider than anything we are driving, so why do we worry so much, when they successfully navigate this route every day? If you don’t feel comfortable on Mixson, take Holmes Ave (that road we have to take whenever there’s a detour that adds approximately 12 seconds to the commute), I promise I won’t judge. And if you do decide to take Mixson, set your cruise control to at least 27 mph… so that I don’t rear-end you in abhorrence.

Sincerely,

Elan Levine

Red 2004 Honda CRV with a Magnet Parking Sticker on the Back

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