THE TALON

Meet Sammy the Seagull

The Magnificent Metallic Mascot

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Meet Sammy the Seagull

Sammy the Seagull is the mascot for the Academic Magnet Ultimate Frisbee team. Sammy first got his job last year, when he accompanied the team to the state tournament in Columbia. Not only did he defend us from the other feces-flinging birds, he also helped us become the most spirited team at the tournament. Sammy is also good friends with the women’s soccer mascot, Pedro the chicken. Currently, his full name is disputed between the false oligarchy created by captain and former captain Anna Tortorici (12) and Jared Lipton (12) and the supporterless dictatorship lead by captain (the frisbee team has four captains) Jay Baek (12). The oligarchy advocates for the glorious name of Samuel Dagg Birdington III, Dagg being a former coach of the frisbee team who moved to Seattle. The dictatorship has declared him Samuel Dagg Drumstick, though with flaky support. Unfortunately, Sammy was recently injured in a storage related accident, but after undergoing breakthrough leg-reattachment surgery performed by Felix Von Asten (10) he has made a speedy recovery.

The Talon staff interviewed Sammy to uncover what makes this bird so special.

Why do you think that team is able to rally around a glorified lawn ornament?

Squawk squawk squaw! (I’m more than just an ornament. I’m more than just a mascot. I represent so much more than a seagull. To the team, I’m a spiritual leader trapped in this metallic body. I’ve participated in many pre and post game huddles and even though this body lacks the vocal chords to give me a voice, I think I have the loudest voice on the team.)

Do you consider yourself a bird of prey?

Caw Caaaw! (—-* to the yes! I consider myself to be one of the fiercest birds out there. Falcons and Flyers beware.)

How have you been recovering since your injury?

Chirp chirp squaw (I’ve been optimistic. After such a marvelous breakthrough in modern medicine I thought, ” what could go wrong?”,but the adhesive has worn down and there is talk of leg-replacement surgery which is even more dangerous and requires a human donor.)

Leg replacement surgery?

Squawk squaw (Yes, we are currently considering several donors to transplant their legs to me. We are considering thiccness and overall fitness right now, but no decision has been made.)

Well thank you for your time. I hope that you find a solution to your leg issue.

Chirp chirp chirp (You’re welcome!)

*Censored by the Talon Editors

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