THE TALON

Ask Mason and Max Vol. 3

Third Time's the Charm, Aye?

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Question 1: I’m talking to my friend’s ex, good or bad call? The relationship ended on a good note. – A Senior Girl

I mean you’re free to do whatever you feel is right. It’s obvi gonna stir the pot a little but the old adage “time heals all wounds” isn’t just ear candy. If you’re one of those adrenaline junkies, you can blind side your friend with the info 3 months into the relationship, but we advise you talk with her before any pursuit occurs.

Question 2: Would you rather have your teeth move like fingers or be able to lay eggs? – A Junior Boy

That’s a tough one. We are currently fairly satisfied with the function of our teeth so we’re gonna have to go with laying eggs. That’d be pretty dirty. And you’d save a lot of money if you crack one open and make an omelette.

Question 3: Why does it burn when I pee? – A Sophomore Boy

I don’t think we quite yet have the necessary qualifications to diagnose the source of your pain. We are going to refer you to Dr. Ian Marshall.

Question 4: How should I cope with a rough break up? – A Freshman Boy

Carrie Underwood.

Carrie Underwood”

— M&M

 

Question 5: I am interested in a girl but I’m friends with her sister, what should I do? – A Junior Boy

I mean it shouldn’t be awkward, girls usually don’t care about their sisters’ ships unless they’re jealous.

 

Question 6: Should I tell a friend about his bad breath? – A Junior Girl

100% yes. It could be a life changer for him, just make sure it’s in private and worded elegantly.

Question 7: Yo guys, parents have been on my back about college apps and are freaking out about the whole process, how do I chill em out and also reduce my stress level? – A Senior Girl

Parents have no idea the stress they cause when they’re obviously stressed about stuff as well. They should usually serve as your means of relaxation and affirm that everything will be alright. Right now, the situation actually affects them a good bit financially so you should probably wait for the storm to subside.

Question 8: What is the best way to treat my man on his bday? – A Sophomore Girl

You should probably get him a little knickknack of something he’s interested in, then take him out to dinner. As long as y’all are together, his night should be great. Feel free to give him as much sugar as you’d like.

Question 9:  Is being friend’s with an ex a thing? – A Junior Girl

It depends. If y’all were serious, you should take a considerable amount of time off from seeing each other and just find new friends because odds are at least one person is still attached. If the relationship ended on a really good note and was fairly short-lived, then yes being friends should be pretty effortless.

 

 

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