“Beware the Ides of March. I should have listened. Today, March 15th, I used UberEats to order a pizza to my school. I didn’t eat breakfast, and I have a golf match after school so I likely won’t be able to eat until like 6:30 or 7. I was reeeaally hungry. So I order a pizza, ok. Sue me! The pizza had chicken and bacon and stuff, and I was really excited. The driver was nearing our school, so I headed to the school lobby with my compadre, Daniel. We stood outside awaiting the pizza, when Mrs. Redfern, our lovely attendance lady, stormed out angrily. She yelled at us and sent us back inside. The driver had arrived, so I told him he could keep the pizza. Boom. 28$ down the drain.”

This is the personal account of victim Will Donnellon after his shocking run-in with CCSD. The fact of the matter is, who is school food delivery harming? I understand the ‘safety concern’ argument is the automatic response, but it is fundamentally flawed. For one, no one is ever forced to stop and put on an I.D. in order to enter the main entrance, so why is it different for the pizza guy? Secondly, even if we were strict about IDs, all he has to do is come to the front door and if something goes wrong he will still be locked out of the building. That is, if the guy who just pulled up in a car with an Uber sticker on it with a bag of food has any intentions other than doing his job. Although there are minor concerns, they are easily fixable, and we have much bigger holes in our school safety plans/policy than an Uber driver having access to the sidewalk in front of the school. So I ask again, “Who are we harming with food delivery?” The answer to that is no one. But you know who we are harming by prohibiting it? Will, the little boy who went hungry for the whole day because he was denied food he paid for.

It’s time for a slam poem

pizza, yummy

no little boy

no pizza

for you

said CCSD

crying tears

money lost

a victim, scarred

If you would like to contribute to the cause, please visit Will’s GoFundMe page, as he is trying to recuperate his losses.

https://www.gofundme.com/CCSDhatespuppies