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Mass Temper-tantrum in D.C. Daycare Causes Government Shutdown

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An ongoing spat between tots favoring the color red against those favoring blue at the D.C. daycare, Congress, has escalated as they argue about how to spend the tax dollars of United States residents. Some red kids and their “239 lb” red leader insist on building a wall to keep Mexican kids from taking their legos. Opting for a sharing is caring policy, blue children want to allow immigrant kids already here to play with them, which makes red kids mad because they feel new kids pose a threat to the national lego supply.

Series of name callings, from “stupid-head” to “shithole countries,” has prompted the purchase of juice boxes to soothe tears and a stern talking to by Big Brother media about using nice words when discussing international affairs.

The red leader has also faced criticism for his lack of consistency, blue tots citing him as a “liar liar pants on fire” and have taken the snack table with the spending bill on it hostage. Meanwhile, red kids continue to keep the immigrant children in a time-out until further notice. Several red three year olds blame the blue kids for not being willing to compromise and now everyone is crying.

Still in control of the snack table, blue kids have allowed the deadline to pass instead of playing nice. A team of so called “Big Kids” in the senate room have assembled to produce a red and blue, which the two year olds just learned in art class makes purple, spending bill. Fortunately, enough blue kids said sorry and allowed the purple bill to pass since red kids pinky promised to talk about playing with the immigrant kids after nap time.

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