How to Ace the SAT

S(lay) A(t) T(esting)

Ah, the infamous SAT. The dreaded counterpart to the ACT, the SAT is a strong contender for public enemy #1 in the Magnet community. Most Magnet juniors spend their 11th grade year frantically going from SAT test prep classes to the actual SAT test. As an all-knowing senior, I am more than happy to guide you along this journey (and believe me, it’s a journey. A painful, painful journey).

First, some background. The SAT, originally an acronym for “Scholastic Aptitude Test,” and later “Scholastic Assessment Test.” The test is a mind-numbing 3 hours (or 4 hours if you choose to do the optional essay. Pro tip: don’t.). In those 3 hours, you, the test-taker, will be drilled on reading, writing & language, and math. Once you finish bubbling in all 1,000,000,000 of your answers, you may leave the testing area and patiently wait for College Board to send you your score. This is usually several weeks.

Freshmen, don’t think you are going to get away from this “college stuff” just yet. You are never too young to start prepping for the SAT.

In order to secure the perfect college application, sit for an SAT every single Saturday. After a few months, you will be brain dead and depressed, but at least you will (hopefully) have a fire score to slap on that college application. Remember what you do it for- the college admissions officer who will spend 10 minutes evaluating your entire life based on a few sheets of paper. With this uplifting thought in mind, abandon your school work so you can give your complete attention to prepping for the SAT. To maximize your chance of getting a high score, pay the College Board to give you a copy of the test you already paid them to take. Continue doing this until you have enough test copies to build a paper house and become a teen homeowner. Just kidding. You should actually code a program that will analyze every single question from your test sheets (for most effective results, this should be around several thousand questions), and then predict the exact questions that will appear on your next SAT. Using this information, you will be able to effectively study and finally get that 1600 you’ve dreamed of. College admissions officers will be swooning. But also, there are several hundred students who get perfect SAT scores each year, so you could still get lost in the crowd. Make sure you also have a stacked list of extracurriculars to outshine them all. A few easy extracurricular ideas: single-handedly negotiate peace between Russia and Ukraine, solve world hunger, or run for U.S. president as a high schooler (irrelevant that you’re not 35 yet). Not only can you contribute to your community, but you can also look at these experiences as opportunities for growth and self-reflection. (Don’t self-reflect to the point that you wonder if selling your soul to the extremely subjective college admissions process is actually a good idea). This feels like cheating but it’s not, it’s just hard work to secure a better future. Happy SAT-ing!