PILK Lives On


Let’s face it, Magnet is kinda boring sometimes. Nothing interesting really happens, for better or worse. No fights, which helps create a more stable learning environment, but also takes away some of the excitement of seeing the animalistic rages in the educational jungle.


Mr. Johnston is always telling us in study hall of the days of Magnet past, where students went from simply a stressed out teenager to ascending to the status of legends. Over break, I was instilled with an immense amount of purpose to actually do something interesting for once. I texted my friend John McQueen about the premise of us doing something interesting when we returned from winter break. The first idea was to cook in the school bathrooms; however, this quickly fell apart as we realized that we did not have a sustainable heat source. We considered using a potassium water reaction, but this was not super feasible as to cook, one needs sustained heat. There are also no outlets on the bathroom to plug in a hot plate with and bringing a lighter would only draw the ire of the administration.

When we got back, in 2nd Period John McQueen showed me some stupid meme about pilk, but instead of making me laugh, it spurred the creation of a glorious idea. We decided that we would be making pilk even if it killed us. When we got to our study hall, we let the cat out of the bag by asking Mr. Johnston his opinion about pilk. It immediately drew his and some of the seniors’ interests with this question. Mr. Johnston said that he would “drink a jigger full of pilk” if we made it and brought it to him. Vishwa said he would drink a glass full for $25 if we could raise it.


This set our pilk brains into overdrive, as we then began recruiting people who would be willing to drink it. We were met with disgust at many turns and many thought it was only a dumb joke (which it was) that would die away after the weekend. It did not. We talked about pilk so much on the first week back from break, that our friend Jessie told his mom about it, which led to her making their entire family drink pilk on Saturday. He texted us the outcome, he did indeed survive, and even claimed that it “was alright”. With confirmation that it was not toxic, we really began the scheming.


To celebrate the end of midterms, in our 4A study hall, we would be brewing pilk to serve to the people of Magnet. The day of the event, only one four letter word was running through my mind – PILK. John McQueen and I had our APUSH midterm earlier that day, but we did not give it nearly as much attention as the pilk planning. Mr. Johnston refrigerated the Pepsi and milk in the morning, and by the afternoon, the time had come. We did a practice MCQ in study hall, and the moment it ended, John McQueen and I began our bartending duties.

But right as we began, Mrs. Pinckney arrived, and promptly left after she saw us beginning to mix the concoction. John McQueen was the first to drink it that day, a true pioneer akin to the likes of Neil Armstrong. I followed suit, now with the pilk flowing through our veins, the two of us ascended to a different level of reality.


Next, Andrew and Vishwa chugged the pilk together (Vishwa did it for zero dollars, really lowering the price of his dignity here). Andrew won, yet at that very moment I was proud to call myself a Magnet student. That’s my president, the one who drinks pilk. Mrs. Pinckney came in and without missing a beat, John offered her some pilk; however she did not drink it.


Our Thursday pilk party resulted in over 30 people drinking pilk from our study hall and Academic Team. Even Mrs. Frazier tried some. Of the 30, 26 finished their glasses completely, showing how truly popular this drink is. We kind of expected the hype around it to die after the pilk party, but it has not.


Pilk lives on.