Your Guide to Skipping Class

I’m not speaking from experience…

Let me preface this article by saying that I do not condone skipping class. I do not skip class… I’m just saying that if anyone is taking an extended bathroom break… or a “walk” to blow off some steam, I have the perfect plan for you. Hard test? Surprise in-class essay? In need of solace? Leave it to me. I will give you information on the steps you can take to “skip class,” or if I’m putting it nicely, what you can do to take that much-needed break.

Annie Griffin taking advantage of the Senior Lounge.

First order of business, find a snack. Whether you have a full meal or a piece of candy in mind, I guarantee that if you make a few rounds throughout the school, you will find something. The snack stashes of Magnet are sacred secrets and any seasoned Raptor knows what I mean.

Next find a place to hide. Or, in lack of words, take a probably much-needed nap.

Hiding in the sarcophagus.

If you’re a senior, I recommend the Senior Lounge. I know this one is a given, but there are some seniors who are definitely not using the Senior Lounge to its fullest potential. Everyone is accustomed to the aroma of freshly-popped popcorn wisping down the stairs into the Key as hungry seniors flood the lounge between classes. The source of coffee addictions, the Senior Lounge has it all. I mean the assortment of mismatched chairs, the huge table, the couch, and the window-seat bench; the range of seating is endless. The occasional restocking and bliss associated with finding forbidden snacks within the sarcophagus is a feeling that cannot be compared. Within the Senior Lounge, there are some notable spots to take a break post-class. Besides the obvious places to rest; I would suggest the sarcophagus. I know this one can be risky… but really, the only time you would be found is when a hungry senior is in search of a snack. Next, beneath the large table in the lounge. Accompanied by the blankets and couch pillows that have probably never been washed, you can take a quick siesta before your return to class. Not only will you feel rested, but you might even wake up with lice.

Who doesn’t love this man?

We also have another unsurprising option, the library. I am only allowed to mention this one if your teacher is aware of it, but the library is home to quite some comfy furniture. If you feel a nap coming on but think that it can wait, you always have lunch, I mean those chairs stretching the perimeter of the cafeteria must be there for some reason. On the other hand, if you cannot wait you will have to resort to taking a nap on your desk. I know this is not ideal, but sometimes you have to do what you have to do. Lee Bearsch said “Maturing is realizing that sleep is more important than test grades.” My only advice for this is to make sure that you have a friend in the class that you are attempting this in because if you start snoring and no one is there to tell you, it is all over. Finally, mental health = physical health, therefore if you need a nap, go to the nurse. I mean they basically have beds and I cannot say I have ever seen anyone lying on them, why let them go to waste? Honestly, if you are desperate, anything will work. In the words of Francesca Venturini, “I put sleep over AP Research.”

I put sleep over AP Research.

— Francesca Venturini

Next, find someone to talk to. If you’re an extrovert, all you have to do is take a seat on a bench (preferably downstairs) and people-watch until someone you know walks by. Chances are if you don’t run into a friend during your excursion, you will definitely run into Mr. Cosgrove running an errand or eating a snack. Now you’re all set. 

Finally, head back to class. I know that you’ve had a good time roaming the school (and hopefully haven’t run into Ms. Pinckney), but your teacher is probably missing you (and I know that you are probably worrying about the work that you’re missing). Trust me, after you follow these steps, you will walk back into class feeling refreshed and ready for anything.