30 Jokes from Magnet Students to Distract You from Exams
AP Tests are coming up and soon after, finals. It can be an especially stressful time at an already stressful school as we push forward to the end of the year. In an effort to provide a bit of a break, I asked students to submit some of their favorite jokes so that I could share them in an effort to lighten the mood and included some of my favorites as well.
I received many different types of responses back. From knock- knock jokes to anti- jokes to just random words people thought were funny, they were certainly interesting. There was also a surprising amount of submissions involving monkeys. I don’t know why and I can’t explain it. I guess this school has a monkey obsession…?? Whatever the case, I put them all together to share in preparation for these next few weeks of misery. Enjoy! :)))))
1. MONKEY… just monkey
Submitted by Colin George
2. Q: What do you call a really short psychic on the run from the law? A: A Small Medium at Large
Submitted by Anna Leigh Tangeman
3. Roommate: If you keep stealing the kitchen utensils I am going to move out!
Me: Well that’s a whisk I’m willing to take!
Submitted by Reese Laird
4. Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead.
Submitted by Coltrane Margosian
5. Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead
Submitted by
6. So I have this skinny friend named Jim, but he goes by a nickname. I think it’s… Slim Jim
Submitted by Erin Baylock
7. Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes? A. No-eyed deer!
Q. What do you call a deer with no eyes AND no legs? A. Still no-eyed deer!
Submitted by Erin Baylock
Who asked?
— Gray
8. My favorite joke is when someone is telling a story and Gray Willits says “Who,” then when the person opens their mouth again Gray interrupts with “Who asked?
Submitted by William Hyatt
9. Today I asked my phone, “Siri, why am I still single?” and it activated the front camera.
Submitted by Maysen Ronchetto
10. My body, my magnet
Submitted by Grace Gast
11. You
Submitted by Josh Moore
You
— Josh
12. Q: Why don’t women need a watch? A: Because there’s a clock on the stove.
Told by Mr. Johnston
13. Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side 😂
Submitted by Ella Chapman and Livia Carroll
14. Q: How much did it cost the psychic to replace her crystal ball when it broke? A: A fortune
Submitted by Jonah Colestock
15. I am on a see food diet…. I eat fish 🙂
Submitted by Mitchell O’Dell
16. As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe my budding career as a tour guide was not the right choice.
Submitted by Maysen Ronchetto
Why don’t women need a watch? …Because there’s a clock on the stove!
17. Q: What do you call it when Dwayne Johnson buys a cutting tool? A: Rock pay-for scissors
Submitted by Amelia Kitchens
18. Q: Where do mansplainers get their water? A: From a well, actually
Submitted by Amelia Kitchens
19. Do you know the phrase “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure?” Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out you’re adopted.
Submitted by Maysen Ronchetto
20. Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because it wanted to. Don’t be so judgmental.
Submitted by Julian Ford
21. Your face.
Submitted by Josh Moore
22. I will never understand why manslaughter is illegal. Men should be able to laugh whenever they want to.
Submitted by Amelia Kitchens
23. Q: Why was the math teacher late to school? A: She took the rom-bus.
In honor of the math department
24. Q: What kind of music are balloons afraid of? A: Pop music
From the Talent Show
25. Q: Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens? A: Because they kept saying “Bach, Bach, Bach”
A favorite of Anna Clifford
Your mom
26. Q: What’s the difference in a fish and a piano? A: You can tune a piano, but you can’t Tun-a fish!
Submitted by me (McKenna Ronchetto) hehe
27. Q: What sound does it make when you jump on a plane? A: Bo-eing, Bo-eing
From Former Magnet Student Sullivan Lant
28. Q: What’s the difference between a well dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? A: Attire
Submitted by Ava Irwin
29. Q: How do you comfort an English teacher? A: By telling them “there, their, they’re”
Submitted by me again hehe
30. Your mom
Submitted by Bowen Enright
I hope these brightened your day :). Good luck on all of your AP exams and finals!
