Best Pick-Up Lines Throughout History

Everything you need for a successful Valentine’s Day.


This is a hip meme to demonstrate the fact that these pick-up lines are very good.

People have been contemplating for millennia how to best attract a mate.  There are many different ways to entice a prospective lover, from sustained, direct eye contact to throwing rocks at their window in the middle of the night.  In addition, the art of the pick-up line has prevailed for centuries.  However, one can notice a stark contrast between pick-up lines of the past and those of today.

Ancient pick-up lines:

The Middle Ages: “Thou hast hit on me harder than the black plague!”

Thou hast hit on me harder than the black plague!

— Sir Lancelot

“Been there, slain that.”

Ancient Greece: “Your beauty could launch a thousand ships.”

Colonial: “Sweet lady, your virtues have so strangely taken up my thoughts, that therein they increase and multiply in abundant felicity.”

“May I be permitted the blissful pleasure of escorting you home this evening?”

“‘Tis balmy eve, and gentle zephyrs blow with mildness seldom seen. I would like to go and see you safely to the garden gate.”

Shakespearean: “More flowers I noted, yet I none could see but sweet or colour it had stol’n from thee.”

Now let’s take a look at some contemporary one-liners:

“Give me a rolex and I’ll give you my heart.” – Graham Inabnett

“Are you a tortoise because I want to get in that shell.” – Hannah O

*Seductive shimmy* “Come get a slice of this.” – Natalie Aversano

“I think you’re really nice, funny, and pretty, and I would like to take you on a date sometime.” – Stuart Philp

I think you’re really nice, funny, and pretty, and I would like to take you on a date sometime.

— Stuart Philp

*Props leg up on table* “Good evening.” – Jared Lipton

“Te amo Natalie.” – Qian Chang-Gallo

“Do you have a pencil, because I want to erase your past and write our future together.” – Shabih Jafri

“Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got FINE written all over you.” – Sarah Norman

“Did your license get suspended for driving all these girls crazy?” – Madison Smalley

*Tips fedora* “Good eve’ ma’ lady.” – Christian Weichsel

As you can clearly see, chivalry certainly is not dead.  While the pick-up lines of today may lack tact compared to those of centuries past, they are very straightforward and are certainly just as effective.