Are you tired of your old friend group? Do you need a group project partner who supports your off-task tendencies? Are you “hoping to laugh at [your] result” in our survey? Welcome to AMHS matchmaking, friend edition, for all the lonely souls out there searching for someone to understand their vague references or listen to their rants about parking lot traffic.
The Method:
Due to years of traumatic incidents involving questionably credible seminar sources and shouts of “SHAME!” ringing through my freshman biology class (if you know you know), we feel the need to justify our research method. In order to make these matches we first categorized our matchmaking survey results into participants who wanted to be matched with a date and those who wished to be matched with a friend. This article pertains to friend requests while the previous article discussed dates. Next, we took into account the grade of the participant as well as the grade level they would prefer to be matched with. We then further categorized based on the gender the participant preferred to be matched with. Once these categories were created we cross referenced interests, social tendencies, hobbies, and preferred methods of communication to form the most compatible matches possible which are as follows.
Side Note:
According to my AP Research teacher, admitting to your mistakes is an important part of increasing the credibility of a study, therefore as we seem to be writing this in an oddly formal manner an explanation of some abnormalities is in order. After writing this article we were informed that despite the information in our survey being freely provided to us by the source, it was still necessary to directly ask for permission to include the participant in our article. In order to gain this permission an email was sent out asking those who did not wish to be named in the article to indicate their preference. Due to the results of this email, some of the participants’ names have been redacted from the article. If any writers intend to produce a new version of this article in the Talon down the road we recommend including a question in the initial survey indicating that the results may be used in the Talon. Personally, I think it’s kind of funny to have some names redacted for the purpose of intrigue and mystery, but it definitely adds a layer of complication for all involved. Now back to the regularly scheduled programming, let’s make some matches.
Zoe Carter (10) and Rocco Mitch (10):
Zoe and Rocco both prefer communication by carrier pigeons, which means their friendship is always one lost bird away from ending. This pair both chose humor as their top trait, so they will at least be laughing while their pigeons deliver the messages. Zoe listens to everything from death metal to “math rock”, which confuses us because Zoe said she “lowkey need(s) someone who can factor quadratics because I can’t and I don’t feel like failing math.” She loves art, writing, and music, and he likes cooking and drawing, which is the perfect combination because one can make the masterpiece while the other provides the snacks. If Rocco can handle Zoe’s math homework, this match may show the absolute value of friendship.
Lucy Reagan (9) and [Redacted] (9):
This freshman pair has four years of fabulous friendship ahead of them. With the shared values of kindness and honesty these two are sure to have some wholesome discussions and soon understand the vital role of the emotional support friend in getting through magnet. Besides that they are both introverts who prefer to surround themselves with introverts, ensuring relative peace and quiet between the two unless they lied to us. In contrast to their quiet nature, both individuals have an unwavering love for rock music, although [Redacted] seems to be passionately against the subgenre of punk rock. Hopefully that doesn’t cause any problems. Both individuals are also athletes, with Lucy citing interest in volleyball and [Redacted] expressing his hobbies as tennis and swimming. [Redacted] prefers to remain a mystery (which is confusing to us considering that he felt inclined to submit several fake responses for other people) so Lucy may be inclined to add detective work to her list of pastimes. These two wish to get in touch with each other, the best way to do so is text. I don’t know how you’re going to get each other’s numbers but that’s not my problem.
Cameron Patrick (9) and Emelie Norton (11):
Cameron picked humor and kindness as his top two traits that he was looking for in his new friend! And he is in luck, because Emelie was perfectly compatible with these as she chose them for her friend also. At least we know that they will be laughing while being kind and respectful to one another. Cameron is an introvert who requested to be paired with another introvert…whoops because Emelie is an extrovert, but I’m sure you can make it work! Emelie prefers it this way due to her “talks a lot” and “needs someone chill” energy. Cameron is into robotics, golf, and board games, while Emelie prefers to run and hangout with her other friends. Don’t worry Cameron, I’m sure she can make time for you! This pair prefers texting, which means their conversations might range from “how was your day” to “do you think my robot could outrun you”. Last but certainly not least, Cameron is in 9th grade and Emelie’s in 11th, but that just means Cameron gets free upperclassman advice without the homework.
Lance Campbell (11) and Quin O’Keefe (12):
We may have just created the best inter-grade friendship in all of the school. Lance and Quin are both extroverts, who were looking to be matched with extroverts. Hanging out together is guaranteed to be loud, entertaining, and full of country music. Lance is into soccer, hunting, and boating, while Quin is in LOVE with mountain bikes and trucks. While they both have different hobbies, we can put them out in the woods and they would find something to do. The only bump in the road? Cars. Quin said that his top two characteristics that he is looking for in his match are “humor” and “likes cars”, later mentioning that his hobbies are “mountain bikes and trucks”. Lance doesn’t have the burning love for cars or mountain bikes that Quin does, but I’m sure they can work it out. And while Lance filled out the matchmaking form hoping for a date, we decided he needed a friend instead, because sometimes bromance is the real romance.
Julian Churchill (12), Jacob Lipschutz (12), Logan D’Agostino (12):
What a dynamic trio of seniors. To be completely honest, these three were just the only senior boys who wanted to be matched with friends in the same grade. Despite this rationale for their match they do bear some striking similarities. For example, they all have the same hair color. Besides that, they all love a good sense of humor which is sure to lead to some funny encounters. These three also have similar hobbies with Logan declaring a love for digital intelligence and film while Julian spends his time gaming and being “chronically online.” Those tech related interests are sure to create some stimulating conversations for these two while Jacob listens in as his only interests are “lil baby” and “stuff.” Wholistically, this group is sure to be a blast to be around especially with Logan consistently encouraging everyone to “please cook.” (We appreciate your notion that our article “seems fun and silly” and hope that we didn’t disappoint.) If you wish to get in touch with your new BFFs a sure way to get a hold of them is carrier pigeon, or just see them in the hallway, less chance of contracting bird flu.
In conclusion, y’all should be friends.
Disclaimer: We at the Talon take no responsibility for any crying or crashouts these matches may cause. Form fabulous friendships at your own risk. Best of luck.
