Academic Magnet High School - North Charleston, South Carolina.

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Academic Magnet High School - North Charleston, South Carolina.

THE TALON

Academic Magnet High School - North Charleston, South Carolina.

THE TALON

Which of Swift’s ex-boos is the best?

With all the new drama surrounding Taylor and Travis Kelce I thought it would be time to rate T Swift’s Exes!
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Taylor Swift, one of the most influential artists of the twenty-first century, has returned to the dating scene. This recent change has led me to rank her previous and current boyfriends/love interests. Please note that this article is just for fun and is not meant to stir up any drama.


#10- John Mayer

If there was an award for Worst Boyfriend, John Mayer would be the winner by a mile. First, let’s start with their age difference: she was 19, and he was a whopping 32. This 12-year gap may be astonishing, but it isn’t even the worst part. In “Dear John”, she states, “Well maybe it’s me and my blind optimism to blame / Maybe it’s you and your sick need to give love then take it away” John, where was the respect? I mean this line is heartbreaking. Recently, after seeing him perform at an award show, she wrote the song “Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve.” This song is Swift looking back on her relationship with Mayer: “If clarity’s in death, then why won’t this die? / Years of tearing down our banners, you and I / Living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts / Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first.” Dear John Mayer, what did you do? I mean to still feel distraught and have anger towards him after a decade stresses how terrible this relationship was. Dear John, maybe you should give up on dating because you seem to leave broken hearts in your path. 

 #9- Jake Gyllenhaal:

This spot wasn’t too hard to devise; Jake is definitely the second worst. I mean “All Too Well” is 10 minutes long… I wonder if he still has that scarf?  Similarly, we have another problematic age gap that manages to cause damage.

#8 Matty Healy:

It seems that the lead singer of the band 1975 had a bit of a rendezvous with Taylor recently. Technically, they did not date, but they appeared to have a fling shortly after the ending of her 6-year relationship with Joe Alwyn. Living up to his nickname, “Ratty Healy”, he does seem to remind me of a rat. He even said that her devoted fan base was annoying. Personally, I think this was probably a terrible choice of a fling, but thankfully, it’s over.

 

#7 Joe Jonas-

He mainly got this space because he broke up with Swift OVER THE PHONE. I mean, it was an 8-second voicemail, and they were done. The song “Mr. Perfectly Fine” was written about him, but was not released until a while after their breakup. The song debuted on the Fearless Taylor’s Version. He’s not great, but not the worst, which is why he gets this position.



#6 Conor Kennedy –

Although his lineage is important, his relationship with Taylor Swift is most definitely not. Talk about no interest; I have heard nothing about this man. Their relationship was probably just as bland as the press on them was. Don’t get me wrong, he could be a great guy or a fantastic boyfriend, but there is absolutely no proof for that to be the case. Sorry bud, maybe next time will be a bit more memorable!

#5 Joe Alwyn:

Joe and Taylor dated for a whopping 6 years before calling it quits. I mean, talk about dedication! I can’t even list all of the songs about him; he is the inspiration for at least 3 albums of hers. On her recent album, Midnights, some of their troubles are referred to. Some believe that the reason they broke up was because he didn’t want to get married. She may be confirming this in “You’re Losing Me”: “I wouldn’t marry me either / a pathological people pleaser / who only wanted you to see her.” I mean if there is no future, then why continue? 

“I wouldn’t marry me either / a pathological people pleaser / who only wanted you to see her.”

 

 Both are equally emotional and show what they were struggling with at the time. The songs were produced before they split, but it does add some background to the turmoil. Although she has moved on, this was definitely a defining relationship in her life and will definitely inspire a couple more songs. 

 

#4 Tom Hiddleston-

A cute couple in the beginning, but it had to end. They dated for a short three months, but they made that time last. Countless walks on the beach, and they spent the 4th of July together. In the end, Taylor did not want to continue with what they had. She left him in the bar while she took the money and the keys. The song “Getaway Car” describes their relationship perfectly, and although it didn’t work out, he still deserves this spot for how much of a sweetheart he is.  

 

#3 Harry Styles-

Styles and Taylor had a relationship during the peak of One Direction, a popular boy band that Harry was a part of at the time. This relationship was very public and some believed that it was a publicity stunt. This relationship did lead to a couple of songs with the most notable being “Out of the Woods” and “Style.” Style is so obviously about the two of them. The lyrics mention ‌his “James Dean daydream look in your eye” and her “red lip classic thing that you like” which is a direct reference to her signature lip color. Out of the Woods seems to be about vehicular manslaughter, which does not sound very romantic, but to each their own. Pretty solid relationship, but not the best.

 

#2 Taylor Lautner-

Taylor and Taylor, a cute non-traumatizing relationship. They were a decent couple, but just didn’t last. Both Taylor Lautner and his wife hold no problems with Swift’s songs, and they are both huge Swifties. Swift he even brought him out at her stop in Kansas City on her Eras Tour. They were a cute couple, but it didn’t last. 

 

#1 Travis Kelce-

The latest and greatest addition to this list, is Mr. Football himself. I mean he is definitely a crowd-pleaser. He has a job as a player for the Kansas City Chiefs football team, he has a car that he can drive, and he seems nice. He is also similar in age to Taylor, talk about a win! One fan of Kelce even states that “Travis Kelce is the hottest man Taylor has ever been with, also go Chiefs!” (Elaina Seymour, 12). I think we are all ready to see where this goes. If you want to learn more about this relationship, you should check out Harrison Crites’ article!

 

It is safe to say that this list has quite a diverse range of relationships, but these are extremely subjective. No one truly knows the full truth behind each relationship except Taylor Swift. This is simply an overview and a silly way of ranking her past relationships. If you have different opinions you can comment them down below or find me in the halls!!

 

Photo credit

Everything we know about Taylor Swift’s exes, according to her songs – from Joe Jonas to Harry Styles

Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston Relationship Timeline: Pics

Taylor Swift & John Mayer: Everything You Need to Know | WHO Magazine

Jake Gyllenhaal Was Asked About Taylor Swift and Things Got Icy

Taylor Swift and Joe Alwyn’s Complete Relationship Timeline

TBT: Taylor Swift and Conor Kennedy

Taylor Swift and Matty Healy are no longer dating – Vox

Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce: A Comprehensive Dating Timeline | Glamour

Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner’s Relationship Timeline: A Look Back

Harry Styles Talks About Taylor Swift and Her Songs About Him

How Joe Jonas Felt About Ex Taylor Swift Saying She Regretted Putting Him ‘on Blast’ During Ellen DeGeneres Show




 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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