Academic Magnet students are known for being smart, driven, and sometimes slightly unhinged and nothing proves that more than your hot takes. Some made me laugh out loud, some made me question your judgment, and a few I actually agree with. So here’s my honest reaction to the boldest opinions floating around campus.
“The Parke sweatshirts aren’t cute, the high necks don’t look good.” – Molly Goodwin, 11
I have to disagree. The high necks are what make them look effortlessly put-together. They give off that clean, elevated vibe; like you didn’t try too hard but still look good. They’re the kind of sweatshirt you wear when you want comfort and style, not just one or the other.
“Every single plant based milk tastes horrible and if you aren’t lactose intolerant and drink them your taste buds need to be checked by a doctor.” – Ethan Wang, 11
I agree with this one. Every plant-based milk I’ve tried has been awful. They all taste weirdly chalky or fake, and I’ve never found one that actually compares to real milk. Oat milk, almond milk, soy milk…they aren’t even actually milk. So yeah, I fully agree with this take.
“I hate pretending that I like other people’s dogs because why am I going into your house and they’re screaming their lungs off, jumping on my legs and licking my toes like no they aren’t just ‘excited’ or ‘nervous’ or whatever your dogs are genuinely just annoying, bad and need to be trained or smth. This is all based on personal experience and also they let one of their dogs poop on the carpet and it was like playing minesweeper trying to avoid the doo doo stains.” – Ethan Wang, 11
This may just be the most brutally honest take I have seen. I am not typically the biggest fan of dogs, but I definitely love the sweet and calm ones. There is a difference between “just being friendly” or “excited” and “needs to go to obedience school asap”.
“Black licorice is a top 5 candy. It’s actually good and people hate on it for no reason.” – Henry Bohler-Park, 11
Nope. I’m sorry. I admire your confidence, but black licorice tastes disgusting. If this is in your top 5, then you probably also enjoy the taste of cough medicine. While I respect individuality, this is definitely the opinion of the elite minority.
“The next wall day theme for all the grades should be tobias cuz im just cool. Im like an icon and stuff and whoever does this idea would for sure win.” – Edwin Wilson, 11 (submitted for Tobias, 9)
Ahh yes. Tobias. The infamous redheaded freshman. His confidence is quite unmatched. Imagine walking into the key and seeing it decked out in Tobias-themed decor. His face on posters and banners, and all the seniors dressed like him. If you are that sure that you would win, I recommend bringing it up with the freshman class president and seeing if y’all can do that during Spring Spirit Week. I’m sure y’all will win….
“Cornstarch and ice is a good combo.” – Rose Williams, 9
Umm…I have so many questions right now. Is this combination being eaten? Are you just touching it? Or simply conducting some sort of science experiment? Whatever is going on here, I hope you are okay. And if you are not okay, please seek help whether that be medical attention or emotional support from a trusted adult. Please do not turn a chemistry classroom into your kitchen.
“I think a lot of people need to invest in some longer skirts or shorts because your rear end should not be out and in my face. I commend the confidence though!” – Julia Koch, 12
This take is very very honest but fair. The “commend the confidence” part softens the blow perfectly. You’re not wrong; sometimes I see outfits that make me question if modesty exists. Confidence is great, but coverage is even better.
“November shouldn’t be a month; no one likes Thanksgiving.” – Jayden Cao, 9
I sort of agree, but for different reasons. Neither of my parents like turkey, so we’ve never had a traditional Thanksgiving dinner. I still do appreciate the month of November itself. It’s got chill fall vibes without the chaos of October and Halloween. Cancel the turkey, not the month.
“Apples are not in the top 5 fruits, people only like them because they’re everywhere.” – Fin Browder, 9
This is true. Apples are reliable but boring. I like them, but they’re not top-tier. I haven’t finalized my top five yet…maybe grapes, strawberries, blueberries, pineapple, and mango, but apples are definitely not making the podium.
“Genuinely the worst people at magnet are the ones who can’t drive. How are you a senior and you don’t know how to use a zipper??? If this gets into the talon, I have a message. The way a zipper works is ONE person goes from EACH lane, then it repeats. very easy. also. if you try to stop me from pulling out of MY parking spot? i dont like you. bc why do you care so much if you are one car behind. I also need to get home, you are selfish!! I also had someone back into my car in the parking lot… WHILE WE WERE BOTH STOPPED. DO YOU HAVE A BACKUP CAMERA? LOOK AT IT. Dear Talon, please put this up, because I need to spread my message. If you do any of these things, you should have your parking spot taken away.” – John Miles Olson, 11
Thank you for submitting your hot take and it did get into The Talon (yay!). I will let this speak for itself.
“Hot dogs are not sandwiches. Here’s why: Many will make the argument that hot dogs have similar qualities, such as an encasing bread surrounding meat and sandwich contents, but they simultaneously fail to recognize the cultural significance of the hot dog. Hot dogs should be framed differently as to their respective culture. Hot dogs may resemble subs and sandwiches but do not be quick to misgender such an important food. The National Hot Dog and Sausage Council agrees with me on this matter. The American hot dog has an American context to it. The settings in which you typically have one, the toppings you generally add on, the way the hot dog is subtly jostled into position, rather than generically and mechanically crafted (not to discredit sandwiches). It is important to add such context in order to not engender mass indoctrination of extremist, anarchist sandwich philosophy. This applies to foreign hot dogs as well. Thank you.” – Christian Nelson, 11
This was written like a dissertation. Even though I agreed with you from the very first sentence, you definitely would’ve convinced me.
“There’s water in the ocean. This is my hottest take because many people believe this is false, but I really think this is common sense. Can you not see the water in the ocean?” – Aiden Fabian, 11
Thank you, for this life-changing revelation. You’ve changed the game. I’ll be thinking about this one every time I look at the ocean now.
“f should be written top to bottom!!!” – Whitney Gwisc, 11
This one threw me off because… isn’t that just how you write it? I’ve never met anyone who writes it bottom to top, but apparently this is a debate now. If you do it differently, please explain. I’m genuinely curious.
If this list proves anything, it’s that Magnet students will have an opinion on everything. From oat milk to parking lot etiquette to the structure of the alphabet, no topic is safe. But that’s what makes this school fun; we take small things way too seriously and somehow turn them into campus-wide debates. So keep the takes coming. Whether they’re ridiculous, surprisingly deep, or weirdly poetic, they make life at Magnet a lot more interesting. I’ll be doing a follow-up article soon with even more hot takes, so stay tuned — Magnet clearly isn’t out of opinions yet.
