Our Newspaper Class, Shark or Guppy-

It’s the age-old tale, shark vs. guppy, raptor vs. worm, king vs. peasant. It’s the simple dynamics seen in the many aspects of life. Here at Magnet, this dynamic is seen in the hallways where the guppies hide from their predatory sharks. To determine this dynamic, we are going to study our newspaper students and find their meaning.

First, we are going to look at senior editor Bennett Bair. He played varsity baseball his freshman year, asserting himself as a prodigy among magnets. He was even known to play in 8th grade for North Charleston High School, putting up record stats. He gets a SHARK pretty easily, and it is agreed on by all.

Next, Big Jack Tierney pulls his reins on Reed Clendaniel all class, which makes him an obvious shark. Reed just shys away from Jack’s predatory power. Jack’s academic ability and acceptance into the national merit semifinalist show his ability to problem-solve and prey on guppies. He gets SHARK.

Now we’re going to look at Jaidon Daley. He’s a 2-varsity sport athlete, all-state honors recipient, and state champion. His mentality when it comes to tackling his academics and sports makes him a clear shark. Although it is important to note his comments and feelings in his talks shared with Hank Baer, which could show glimpses of dolphins.

Next, Charlie Claus, also known as Gunther Noris, we’re going to have to do a double examination. We interviewed Gunther, and he trembled as he recounted his experience witnessing a shocking car crash in Mount Pleasant, which unfortunately makes him our first guppy of the class. When we looked at Charlie Claus, his sailing ability and academic prowess make him a SHARK. His ability to encourage the class with his auxiliary every class also shows his ability as a shark.

Sophia Easterbrook is our next examination. She always seems to walk the halls with an immense purpose and at a blistering pace. Her academic performance is unmatched in our classroom and she is our class co-editor. She’s obviously a shark. But it is known that Sophia’s fast walks and sharp stares are contrasted by her friendly demeanor, which gives her the nurse shark comparison.

Next, our second co-editor, Molly Tombs, is always seen patrolling with Sophia, and everyone knows there is only enough room in the reef for one shark, unfortunately making her a guppy.

Next, Sam Abney pairs up with Jack, enforcing his aura on Reed all class as Reed watches in awe and drools. For his academic predatory ability and his photo ability on the field, he gets a shark.

And this one is no surprise to anybody. Reed Clendaniel is our main attraction. His colorful colors and flares and his quirky comments that keep everyone laughing…at him. When he shows up to backyard football games, he supplies maximum work effort while producing minimum impacts. His choppy routes and soft coverage put him to the last pick of the draft. So give it up for our Gup of the Week. Whenever he gives up a long pass, he is also known to STOMP loudly, showing glimpses of becoming a shark one day and reaching the creek, but for now, he’ll stay in the safe waters of the marsh without predatory disturbance. He also received the 2024 Stomp of the Year award given by Mrs. Greyson in study hall.

Ameile Gilmore reviewed her articles, and her top 10 experiences are very interesting and relatable but don’t give off the sharky attitude our criteria follows, which is going to make her our first dolphin of the class, specifically an adult bottlenose who can fend away sharks and hunts on guppies.

Zuriel, 3 time class president there’s no questions asked he’s a shark. 

Naomi Moses, when inspecting her newspaper profile, the first photo we see is her powerlifting. This first shark glimpse is furthered when I look into her writing as she teaches the underclassmen about how to show school spirit so she receives sharks.

Sam Galloway, his guitar ability and clash skill make him a good candidate for Shark, but when reviewing his writing, we saw signs of guppy writing and material. Because of this, Sam gets our second Dolphin. It is noted that he is an adult Dolphin and is making a run for his 2028 pod election.

Keon Ghafari, so I looked into his staff profile, and I guess his alter ego is “Kdog,” which I don’t know which way to score, but it is important to note. Through further research, I found his favorite food is chicken tenders and French fries, which may show signs of dolphin or not full growth. When looking at his Clash Royale article, he shows immense knowledge of the game, which gives him some points back. He’s going to receive the same as his writing partner, Dolphin, for Keon or “Kdog”.

Sean Bacon, a fellow USC fan and Laheisman supporter, has great taste in movies, enjoying star wars and the maze runner movies. This gives him a clear shark.

Jack Childers, so it seems he has a lot of nicknames consisting of “Big Chilla,” “Beast,” “Jack,” “Childers,” “Jack Childers,” “Katie’s brother,” “Jacky,” “Alpha,” “Omega,” or “Emmitt Pulsifer.” I can’t really decipher how these should be scored, so I further looked into his profile. He enjoys watching Star Wars and lying in his bed, but in the most in-depth analysis, it shows he needs to “chase that bag.” This is going to give Jack Shark.

Ben Hynes, when he’s not soaring over nets and smashing sets, what does Ben Hynes get up to? Well, let’s look. Well, it says he enjoys golfing, fishing, and working on his truck. When looking at his favorite teams, he puts the currently 1-2 Baltimore Ravens. Because of his guppy love for Derrick Henry’s slippery hands and arm sleeves, he gets guppy.

Quinlan Okeefe, he’s one of our sportscasters on the team, and right off the bat, we can all understand his raw talent in net for lacrosse, and his ability to pull off a red bandana makes him a clear Shark.

Jill Gunn, we can see in her profile that she’s all for school spirit, but when reading further, we found that she walks “aimlessly around Charleston.” In our criteria, a shark needs to always have a plan and a place to be, but for her school spirit, she gets a dolphin who swims aimlessly around the harbor instead.

Max Tippey, he’s a 2-varsity athlete and one of our sports photographers, and he works as a lifeguard. For his protection of others, he’ll get a shark.

Makenna Turner, from New York and a varsity athlete as well as her participation in her podcast “Her Words”. We found that she always waits tables at Red Drum in Mount Pleasant. With no signs pointing to guppies or dolphins she has to be a Shark.

Saiana Elkins enjoys watching YouTubers, true crime, and spending time with friends. Aspiring to be a director or cinematographer, Saiana plans to attend film school in LA and contribute to the school newspaper. She is a clear shark.

Liam Rohrbacker, who is part of our quiz bowl team and frequently plays ultimate frisbee, and wow he’s hiked up to 16,000 ft. When reviewing his articles he calls out a huge monopoly in the education industry attacking the college board. For his boldness and strength to take on a big company like this he deserves a shark.

The Serano Twins were going to group them together, so we found out they were born in Philly and Henry enjoys playing video games and Arts and Entertainment. When looking at Jack, he enjoys skating, playing piano and clash royale. We’re gonna give them dolphins as they are a pack animal and when looking at Jack he says he’s the cooler brother so we’ll give him pod leader.