Is water wet?

The Talon Editorial Staff answers

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Is water wet?

We live in a time of political polarization where there’s an obvious split among the American people. Healthcare, abortion, and immigration are heated topics. There is however one question that is not commonly discussed on the political scene. A question that has been haunting the internet for many years by now. The question is of course:

Is water wet?

I decided to gather some very unscientific statistics by asking some people in the Talon editorial staff what they thought about this extremely controversial topic. Here are the results:

The first people I asked were Jack and Andrew and they immediately clashed with their different opinions on the subject.

– “Andrew don’t try to use big words to confuse me!” – Jack Levinson 2020

 

Jack: – “No it’s not wet, wet is property defined by an object being absorbed or applied by any means, only then is it wet. Therefore water in itself is not wet.”

Andrew: – “It comes down to science, water is wet because it is touching itself by cohesion.”

Will Jordan: – “I don’t want to get slapped by Andrew.”

Ms Hurt: – “It’s a stupid question, can you think of a better article?”

Kronsberg: – “Water is not wet; let me tell you why. To be wet, you have to be in contact with water. But water in itself is not wet because it is just water not in contact with itself.

Mason: – “For me water seems wet but perception is reality. So maybe that’s why some people think it’s dry.”

Emily: – “No, in my opinion water makes things wet, it’s not wet in of itself wet. If you were to dive in to water you are not wet, you become   when you step out of the water.”

Davis: – “Alright, anyone that thinks two water molecules touching each other would mean that it’s dry does not deserve to go to this school and is an imbecile. The definition of wet is touching a water molecule, so if two water molecules touch each other they are by definition wet. There is no counter argument to this and if you think that water is dry I feel so sorry for you, and your family and your future children.”

Sloane: (Sloane decided to not answer the question because she got scared after hearing Davis’ arguments).

Simone: – “Who cares, I don’t want to put a single thought in to it.”

Ella: – “Its wet. That all I have to say.”

 

As you can tell this is a question that not only the internet struggles to answer. My goal when I started writing was to write an article fast with 400 words, but mainly to finally answer the absurd question, Is water wet? And although I only succeeded with one of my goals, I think that we are one step closer to comprehend this mystery that is the wetness of H2O.