Vaccines. Chances are you have gotten a few of them in your life. I’m so sorry. You are doomed. Everyone knows that “vaccines actually make you die faster” – Buzzfeed Science Department. For the past few decades those idiots known as “Doctors” have been trying to tell us that vaccines will help prevent your child from contracting dangerous diseases. Just because they have Phd’s and doctorates they think they can tell us about vaccines? No. Sure they may be “smart” and “save lives” for a living, but that doesn’t mean they know everything.

There have been at least 2 major breakthroughs in the Anti-Vax movement. In the early 1600s there is an account of a man who was given a VACCINE of human feces to prevent demonic possessions. Guess what happened? He died. Not surprised, once again we see that vaccines kill. The other came more recently, only about 3 years ago. A young girl was getting vaccinated for the flu. She died soon after. As she was leaving the clinic she was promptly hit by a bus. Obviously all the metal from the vaccine made her blood magnet and attracted the bus to hit her. Tragic.

One major aspect of the Anti-Vax movement that the doctors don’t want you to hear about are all the benefits. The first and most obvious benefit is that you only have to raise your child until they are around 4 years old. It is actually impossible for the child to live any longer if they don’t receive vaccinations. This means that you get to enjoy your child while they are small and loyal and don’t have to deal with their rambunctious years as teenagers. Also think about how much you’ll save never having to pay for their car insurance or school tuitions. You will never have to worry about tending to their injuries because they will only be going out on their own for about 2 months before someone sneezes on them and then no more kid. How convenient!!!

Another major plus to anti-vaxing is that your kids can’t contract Ligma or any of its many strains. Our lord and savior Ninja has confirmed that vaccines cause Ligma, Sugma, and even Sugondese. If you are unfamiliar with these illnesses simply ask any middle school age boys you know and they will happily inform you.

Now the biggest benefit of all is seen in the Anti-Vax memes that are circulating these days. These popular comedy images or “memes” as the kids call them are spreading the powerful message of anti-vaxing. Now the only way to really appreciate these is to be part of the Anti-Vax movement, then you can really understand them. I’ll share a few for your viewing pleasure.