Robby Gourdie… a man of many titles. Former freshman class president, boy genius, allstate runner, etc.. If you ever see him walking in the hallway, eyes deadset on the wall opposite of him, seemingly completely spaced out, you might wonder… what is going on in his mind? And that’s exactly what I set out to discover.

Having been friends with Robby for almost two years, I’ve witnessed some of his most interesting accomplishments. They should all be considered in this study.
Things to consider:
Robby’s Next Top Snapchat Friend
He created a game that consisted of weekly challenges that lasted for 10 weeks over his snapchat story. The challenges consisted of a very elaborate scavenger hunt, a collage making contest, and his friend group’s signature game- Bang Bang. Voting for eliminations made the game so competitive that permanent trust issues were forged between contestants. Betrayal. Alliances. More betrayal.All taking place as Robby watched from afar. A true puppet master at work. As one of the contestants, I can say that those 10 weeks made the beginning of this school year worthwhile; the game was one of the only things motivating me to come to school and not be truant by second quarter of my senior year. One of his most elaborate schemes to date, I still do not fully understand his motivation for creating the game… posing more questions to consider in analyzing the mind of Robby Gourdie.

The Blue Shirt
If you go through his instagram feed you will learn that he has 21 pictures in the same blue shirt.
Crypticism
Robby Gourdie speaks in emoji code and obscure song lyrics. If you think he doesn’t have an emoji that represents you, you’re probably wrong.

The Routine
Every morning, Robby eats a piece of toast with butter. Every single morning. Legend has it that if you stop by his Hyundai Accent in the senior parking lot you can see toast crumbs piling up in his passenger seat and maybe even the infamous toast plate.

To continue my investigation into the mind of Robby Gourdie, I interviewed some of his closest friends.

I tasked them with the following:
Describe the mind of Robby Gourdie to the best of your ability.
“unconventionally brilliant and bountiful” – Angeline Krupa
“I can’t” – Lilli Heinrich
“Robby’s mind is like a volcano. Its constantly bubbling and boiling and on the verge of exploding and when it does explode it either provides nutrients to the surrounding area or can destroy everything in sight”- Lilli Heinrich, 20 mintues later
“Complex”- Evan Daniels
“Scrambled eggs” – Lanie Berrigan
“A bunch of babies running around drinking Red Bull” – Andrew de Arellano
“Intelligent. Elite. Tall. The most complex organelle in the entire system. he is the blood and the skin without the bones. he is the air that suspends things in the Air. His mind however? it is plasma. the element. it upholds but there is no brain it is just energy. i’ve heard if you press his head it just moves because he doesn’t have any skull. like a balloon filled with water 😳” – Gabby Ziegler
“Boy.” – Rosie Booker

Very insightful. From this data, I now know that Andrew and Lanie must understand Robby pretty well, as they provided the most accurate depictions of his mind. Great imagery, guys. In order to complete my metaanalysis, I decided to go straight to the source. Here is the man, the myth, the legend – Robby Gourdie’s answers to Magnet’s most pressing questions:

Describe your mind in one adjective.

Sticky

Any comments on your time as the class of 2020’s freshman class president?

Absolute power corrupts absolutely.

Students around the school have noticed that you pronounce certain words like “garage” and “been” in a rather odd fashion. Any explanation for this?

Me mum’s from across the pond luv xx.

How did your experience at SOA middle school shape you as a person?

I have been on this campus for a long time now, and I think I have seen like 6 generations of the same family of Canada geese now. The way that that has shaped me as a person is that I have seen a lot of geese in my life. Some of them are mean and some are indifferent. None are nice.

Where do you see yourself in 15 years?

Mars

What is your opinion on astrology?

You can call it a pseudoscience, but I bet you’re a Capricorn so I’m not going to listen to you. Wait until you get your first Costar notification and tell me it’s not at least a little spooky.

College? Opinion?

Please don’t make me talk about it.

What is your favorite snack?

Toast and honey, baby carrots

Name one song that describes you.

Outwardly: Rock Lobster by the B52s
Inwardly: Running up that Hill by Kate Bush

How is your hair doing?

It’s a wig.

What does the flying saucer emoji mean to you?

No comment.

What AMHS teacher do you think you are most similar to and why?

I don’t know if I’m similar to any of them right now but I hope to one day have the wit and fashion sense of Dr. Altman, the wisdom of Dr. Cassidy, and the work ethic and kindness of Ms. Snelgrove.

RESULTS
So basically, Robby’s mind is very “complex”, “sticky”, and “scrambled eggs”. I hope this helped.