The “Cooler Than Me” Theory

Prom planners, check it.

Over the course of my senior year, I have begun to develop an idea. A theory, if you will. This theory was originally just word of mouth, a concept that has been passed throughout my friend group and eventually into the party abyss, never recorded through writing… until now. If we are being completely honest here, I am somewhat hesitant to disclose this phenomenon, so be warned, you are about to receive party-changing information. From here until the end of this article, tread carefully.

Now, I have been to a few friendly get togethers. At all these functions, music was played, whether that be through a phone, a speaker, a TV, or even a DJ- without a doubt, there is no function without music. I am not going to come for anyone’s music taste here, everyone is entitled to their own opinions and I am completely aware of this- which is why this theory is perfect for everyone and every get together.

You probably want me to stop stalling and get to the actual concept. Ahhhhhhhhh. Okay. So basically, the “Cooler Than Me” Theory is exactly what it sounds like, imagine that you’re at a party and it is super boring. You’re walking around trying to maintain small talk with multiple groups of people, probably eating snacks, wondering if you should convince the group you came with to start heading home soon. All of this is probably a result of the music that is playing because we all know that if a certain song is playing, everyone will be singing it together and therefore, everyone will be having a good time. From this, comes my theory. If you are ever in this situation; hunt down the person on aux (if there is a DJ this whole “failing function concept” should not be happening) and click on “Cooler Than Me” by Mike Posner feat. Big Sean (let me tell you, the Single Mix version of this song is just not the same). Don’t queue it, don’t ask, just do. This party needs saving and it’s up to you. I guarantee you, this will work.

This song is the perfect blend of genres that will please everyone who is listening. Anyone has been alive since at least 2010 probably knows the lyrics and in general, it is just the perfect song to get everyone together and create a beautiful moment of harmony and unison. Sorry. But you know what I mean.

I have to admit, this concept has been my claim to fame for a while now, and there has never been a time when it has failed. But there definitely are some other songs that have the same effect on people as “Cooler Than Me,” none just as perfect, but all very good contenders. I had the pleasure of putting together a playlist of these songs and list that you can see below. Now this list is not perfect in that- it does contain songs that step into specific genres whether that be rap or country (I know but it’s fine), but just know that it is okay to embrace these sides of yourself. And to that end I present “The ‘Cooler Than Me’ Theory” playlist.

  • Cooler Than Me- Mike Posner feat. Big Sean
  • Fergalicious- Fergie, will.i.am
  • Promiscuous- Nelly Furtado, Timbaland
  • INDUSTRY BABY- Lil Nas X, feat. Jack Harlow
  • No Role Modelz- J. Cole*
  • God’s Plan- Drake
  • In My Feelings- Drake
  • Hotline Bling- Drake
  • Nice For What- Drake
  • Low- Flo Rida feat. T-Pain
  • Everybody Talks- Neon Trees*
  • Animal- Neon Trees*
  • Ridin’ Solo- Jason Derulo
  • Feel This Moment- Pitbull feat. Christina Aguilera
  • Hey Baby (Drop It To The Floor)- Pitbull feat. T-Pain
  • Where Them Girls At- David Guetta, Flo Rida, feat. Nicki Minaj
  • Rocketeer- Far East Movement, Ryan Tedder, Ruff Loaderz*
  • Like A G6- Far East Movement, The Cataracs, DEV
  • Scream and Shout- will.i.am, Britney Spears
  • Baby- Justin Bieber
  • Ms. Jackson- Outkast*
  • Love Story- Taylor Swift*
  • You Belong With Me- Taylor Swift
  • Nothin’ On You- B.o.B feat. Bruno Mars*
  • Talking Body- Tove Lo*
  • The Hills- The Weeknd
  • Walk It Talk It- Migos
  • Bad and Boujee- Migos feat. Lil Uzi Vert
  • Pure Water- Mustard, Migos
  • Black Beatles- Rae Sremmurd
  • This Could Be Us- Rae Sremmurd
  • Swang- Rae Sremmurd
  • Come Get Her- Rae Sremmurd
  • No Type- Rae Sremmurd
  • Oops!…I Did It Again- Britney Spears
  • Hotel Room Service- Pitbull
  • Give Me Everything- Pitbull (feat. Ne-Yo, AFROJACK, Nayer)
  • Time Of Our Lives- Pitbull, Ne-Yo
  • Feel This Moment- Pitbull feat. Christina Aguilera
  • She- Tyler, The Creator, Frank Ocean*
  • She Knows- J. Cole feat. Amber Coffman and Cults
  • Sweater Weather- The Neighbourhood*
  • Habits (Stay High)- Tove Lo*
  • m y . l i f e- J. Cole with 21 Savage and Morray
  • This Love- Maroon 5
  • Moves Like Jagger (Studio Recording From “The Voice” Performance)- Maroon 5, Christina Aguilera*
  • Gravity- Brent Faiyaz, DJ Dahi feat. Tyler, The Creator*
  • See You Again- Tyler, The Creator feat. Kali Uchis
  • Heartless- Kanye West
  • Bound 2- Kanye West*
  • Flashing Lights- Kanye West, Dwele
  • Money Trees- Kendrick Lamar, Jay Rock
  • Classic- MKTO
  • Alright- Kendrick Lamar
  • EA- Young Nudy feat. 21 Savage*
  • I Gotta Feeling- Black Eyed Peas
  • One Dance- Drake, Wizkid, Kyla
  • Spin Bout U- Drake, 21 Savage
  • All The Stars- Kendrick Lamar, SZA
  • Needed Me- Rihanna
  • Sex With Me- Rihanna
  • Only Girl (In The World)- Rihanna
  • Talk That Talk- Rihanna, Jay-Z
  • No Hands- Waka Flocka Flame (feat. Roscoe Dash and Wale)*
  • Valerie (Version Revisited)- Amy Winehouse, Mark Ronson*
  • Glock In My Lap- 21 Savage, Metro Boomin
  • a lot- 21 Savage*
  • ball w/o you- 21 Savage
  • Rock Your Body- Justin Timberlake
  • Suit and Tie- Justin Timberlake feat. Jay-Z*
  • The Spins- Mac Miller*
  • Les- Childish Gambino
  • 3005- Childish Gambino
  • Die For You- The Weeknd
  • Trap Queen- Fetty Wap
  • 679- Fetty Wap feat. Remy Boyz
  • Again- Fetty Wap
  • My Way- Fetty Wap feat. Monty
  • Day ‘N’ Night (Nightmare)- Kid Cudi
  • Pursuit Of Happiness (Nightmare)- Kid Cudi, MGMT, Ratatat
  • Memories- David Guetta feat. Kid Cudi
  • Outside- Calvin Harris feat. Ellie Goulding
  • Out Of My League- Fitz and The Tantrums*
  • Clarity- Zedd, Foxes
  • Party In The U.S.A- Miley Cyrus*
  • Don’t Stop The Music- Rihanna
  • Right Round- Flo Rida
  • Paparazzi- Lady Gaga
  • Good Feeling- Flo Rida
  • Bodak Yellow- Cardi B
  • Empire State Of Mind- Jay-Z, Alicia Keys
  • Feel So Close (Radio Edit)- Calvin Harris
  • Locked Out Of Heaven- Bruno Mars*
  • Treasure- Bruno Mars
  • Fire Burning- Sean Kingston
  • Dynamite- Taio Cruz
  • Die Young- Kesha
  • We R Who We R- Kesha
  • Break Your Heart- Taio Cruz, Ludacris
  • Hips Don’t Lie- Shakira feat. Wyclef Jean
  • Whatcha Say- Jason Derulo
  • In My Head- Jason Derulo
  • Pon de Replay- Rihanna
  • Replay- Iyaz
  • Pump It- Black Eyed Peas
  • Yeah!- Usher feat. Lil Jon and Ludacris
  • As Long As You Love Me- Justin Bieber, Big Sean*
  • Tongue Tied- Grouplove*
  • Same Old Love- Selena Gomez
  • Stereo Hearts- Gym Class Heroes feat. Adam Levine
  • Still Into You- Paramore*
  • Ain’t It Fun- Paramore
  • Your Love Is My Drug- Kesha
  • Beauty And A Beat- Justin Bieber, Nicki Minaj
  • Mirrors- Justin Timberlake
  • S&M- Rihanna
  • Fireball- Pitbull feat. John Ryan
  • Drag Me Down- One Direction
  • All Of The Lights- Kanye West
  • Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.)- Katy Perry
  • Kiss Me Thru The Phone- Soulja Boy, Sammie
  • The Other Side- Jason Derulo
  • Billie Jean- Michael Jackson
  • Rock With You- Michael Jackson*
  • Beware- Big Sean, Lil Wayne, Jhené Aiko
  • Into You- Ariana Grande
  • Fancy- Iggy Azalea, Charli XCX
  • Fancy- Drake, T.I., Swizz Beatz
  • Crew- Goldlink feat. Brent Faiyaz and Shy Glizzy
  • Live While We’re Young- One Direction
  • Best Song Ever- One Direction
  • What Makes You Beautiful- One Direction
  • Never Forget You- Zara Larsson, MNEK
  • Lush Life- Zara Larsson
  • Stir Fry- Migos
  • Please Don’t Go- Mike Posner
  • The Way Life Goes- Lil Uzi Vert feat. Oh Wonder
  • Love Sosa- Chief Keef
  • Caroline- Aminé
  • Mo Bamba- Sheck Wes
  • Chill Bill- Rob $tone feat. J. Davi$ and Spooks
  • Headlines- Drake
  • Antidote- Travis Scott
  • SICKO MODE- Travis Scott
  • Mask Off- Future
  • goosebumps- Travis Scott
  • Gasolina- Daddy Yankee
  • American Boy- Estelle, Kanye West
  • We Are Young- fun. feat. Janelle Monáe*
  • Some Nights- fun.
  • Can’t Feel My Face- The Weeknd
  • Say It Right- Nelly Furtado
  • Get Lucky (Radio Edit)- Daft Punk feat. Pharrell Williams and Nile Rodgers
  • I THINK- Tyler, The Creator
  • Blow- Kesha
  • Just The Way You Are- Bruno Mars*
  • The One That Got Away- Katy Perry
  • 8TEEN- Khalid
  • Wake Up In The Sky- Gucci Mane, Bruno Mars, Kodak Black
  • Finesse (Remix)- Bruno Mars feat. Cardi B*

*The asterisks denote songs that I think especially fit this theory. Also, let me point out that I included every artist involved in each song down to the specific version of the song if there are multiple so you guys can’t make any mistakes. You may be thinking, that song is not a party song! Or, I’ve never heard that song at a party before! I’ll admit, some of these songs (specifically, the ones at the end) are a result of my wishful thinking, but I would love to hear any and all of these all the time. I’m not gonna lie, I got very carried away. You may not recognize all of them by name but I’m sure that right when they start playing, you will know the words. Maybe… just maybe I can inspire you.

Yeah, so I pride myself in extensive lists, and I understand if you aren’t inclined to look through this entire lineup, so in that case, make sure to check out the Spotify link if you want to put these songs into action next time you are on the dance floor. I am going to cordially invite suggestions, so please leave some in the comments if you think that I missed a song or two that deserves the spotlight and all I have left to say is, prom planners, check it.