A Review of my Horoscope from the past week

Astronomers and Astrologers alike, rev your engines!

ooo! pretty and topical

ooo! pretty and topical

As many other seniors can attest, this quarter is terrifying. Finally the time has come to make the decision as to which schools to apply to, which school will be the setting for the next four years of your life, which everyone around you is all too keen to inquire about. It is exhausting fielding the constant questions of  ‘What college do you want to go to?’ whoever gives me money, ‘What’s your major?’ I have no idea, ‘What do you wanna do with your life?’ win the lottery and tour the world, or even the timeless classic asked by fellow students and parents alike, ‘How is being a senior?’ Stressful.

These questions are not only annoying, but also have the sometimes unpleasant effect of forcing introspection when faced with the possibility of answering them. To better understand myself and maybe what I want to do with my life, I have turned to external sources for guidance. The first piece of advice which fell into my life was a small slip of paper located inside of a fortune cookie from Jade Garden, a Chinese restaurant on Bees Ferry road. It said “To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.” That is not even close to what I think of as a fortune! It’s not even true either, as any fellow serial procrastinator can attest to. 

I forgot to take a picture of my real cookie so here’s one of the same fortune I found on google images 🙂

After the resounding disappointment which greeted me before I dug into my Szechuan Chicken, I decided to seek advice elsewhere. I’ve always found astrology interesting, even though I don’t understand it well. Like what the heck does it mean to be an Ascendant Cancer First House? It is almost like reading a foreign language when diving into the realm of astrology. Nevertheless, my lack of understanding aside, I decided to begin reading a daily horoscope and trying to follow some of its advice. 


My Co-Star generated natal chart, born November 19th at 7:30pm. Someone with expertise please let me know what this means.


I chose to take the yahoo!life horoscope into daily consideration because of its brevity and lack of reference to confusing planetary terms which I do not understand.



Monday the 27th

Monday, September 27th:

Monday’s prediction was startlingly accurate. That morning I was strongly considering skipping school to catch up on some z’s; thankfully however my horoscope informed me of the dangers which may lie down that turbulent path and gave me the strength to withstand the suffering of a 6 A.M. alarm. I’m glad I followed the advice because it is not fun at all to fall behind at THE #2 school in the nation. Thanks horoscope! Grade: B-


Tuesday, September 28th

Tuesday the 28th

Regretfully, this prediction has not borne any fruit so far. I experienced neither an intense conversation or a new direction in my relationship with another. Maybe its referring to the beginnings of my astrological spiritual journey and relevant transformation? This could be the gentle prodding I need to go all out into advanced horoscopes which reference retrograde ascendant 7th house Pluto (Have you heard what happened to Pluto? That’s messed up right?) Only time will tell. Grade: C-


Wednesday, September 29th

Wednesday the 28th

Finally! A position I immediately agree with. Now is the time to take it in and soak up the sunshine. Over the past year I’ve really been focusing on just focusing on what I can control and ignoring the rest. I mean if I can change the situation there is no reason to worry, and If I can’t, there is also no reason to worry. I know it’s often a lot more complicated than that but sometimes it isn’t and I find it helpful to try and block out the noise in those situations. Grade: A+


Thursday, September 30th

Thursday the 30th

While I didn’t recognize it in the morning, these words would play a crucial role when I was later tempted with an afternoon nap. I still ended up taking that nap but I thought about it a lot harder. I often am my own worst enemy so I definitely agree with that part, it doesn’t feel very specific to my sign though, like this advice could apply to everyone. Grade: B+


Friday, October 1st

Friday the 1st

Publication day! Hello vigilant Talon readers ( No hello to Raptor Report readers), today is when the magic happens and 700 inboxes are filled with the best news to ever exist all at once. The challenge spoken of definitely seems to be about writing my day ahead. For the last hour I’ve furiously typed away in order to prepare a worthy article for your consumption. After that I will head to AP Lit where I will try and study for the test I have in AP Gov 3B in between confusing vampiric interpretations of a creepy story. 4B will be a Marine quiz, so I will surely be challenged in at least 3 classes today. If the challenge is bigger than academic assessments I am really in trouble. Oh wait, it is. I just remembered I need to go spirit week shopping in order to look my best for the beginning of the end of fun in my senior year. If any seniors are reading this please look good next week, the entire class of 2022 will be sorely disappointed otherwise. Other kids can look good too but please not better than the seniors.  Grade: A+

Overall I thoroughly enjoyed my horoscope experience from the past week. It may not have been extremely accurate but I guess that’s what I get for choosing a vague horoscope. I think I’ll download Co-Star to get a more involved look at my life as determined by the infinite galaxy in the coming weeks. It doesn’t really matter whether I really believe that the horoscope’s word pertains to my life because it’s fun to consider it either way. At the end of the day it’s just content and entertainment like anything else we choose to do in our free time, but I think it’s more productive than other forms of entertainment because it directly confronts the reader with a different perspective on the world and forces a reflective look at ourselves generally. Similar to believing the Magnet football team will finish the season with a winning record, it’s fun to believe, regardless of what actually occurs.