The Best and Worst of Pop-Tarts

Which one ranks supreme?

In+lieu+of+Spooky+Season
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The Best and Worst of Pop-Tarts

In lieu of Spooky Season

In lieu of Spooky Season

In lieu of Spooky Season

In lieu of Spooky Season

Pop-tarts are a staple of the American home. Too busy to make yourself anything, or just want a delicious snack? Pop-tarts are the way to go. However, a dilemma arises when choosing which flavor you want. There are over 30 flavors to choose from. Say nothing of the special edition flavors. How could one possibly choose? You could, of course, just buy all of them. If you find yourself lacking the money to do that then only one option remains. You have to rank them to find the reigning flavor. I am sure the metaphorical wheels are turning in your head, but there is no need to worry. I will rank them for you so rest easy. You’re welcome.

There are 30+ flavors to ponder on, and I do not want to waste either of our time. I will rank the six most popular flavors; Blueberry, Cherry, Strawberry, Brown Sugar Cinnamon, Chocolate Fudge and S’mores (in no particular order…yet). Each flavor will get its own list of pros and cons as well as the best way to enjoy them. Then, at the end, I will give you my final thoughts and rankings.

Non-Fruity

I will start with Brown Sugar Cinnamon, as it was one of the first four flavors released in 1967 alongside Dutch-Apple, Concord Grape and Raspberry. If you are not a fan of the fruity flavors then this is the one for you. While S’mores and Chocolate Fudge also offer a non-fruit based flavor, they are richer and sometimes too much first thing in the morning. Brown Sugar Cinnamon is sweet but not overbearingly so. Additionally, it has the versatility of remaining delectable whether warmed or not. On the more negative side, the color of this pop-tart is boring and slightly unappetizing. The beige tone is somewhat offputting. For someone who has yet to try this delicious flavor, the face value would, likely, be unappealing. It lacks the attractive, bright colors that other flavors can offer.

Flavor: 8

Warmability: 8.5

Appearance: 2

Average: 6.2

Chocolate Fudge is one of the richer pop-tart flavors. If you love things that are super sweet then this is the one for you. It looks absolutely scrumptious with its deep brown color, almost like pure chocolate. The crust, frosting and filling are all chocolate with white sprinkles on top. It is good both warmed and un-warmed, but it is far better when warmed. It tastes like a warm brownie in your mouth and would probably go quite well with a glass of milk.

Flavor: 8.5

Warmability: 9.5

Appearance: 8

Average: 8.7

The S’mores pop-tart is quite similar to the Chocolate Fudge, with only a few noticeable differences. The marshmallow flavor only serves to take away from the chocolate. It is, however, very good when warmed. It tastes like an actual s’more. The problem is mostly the appearance. It is essentially a less appealing version of the Chocolate Fudge. It is a light brown icing, leaving it lacking in the deep rich color. It also lacks sprinkles making it quite boring to look at.

Flavor: 7

Warmability: 8

Appearance: 4

Average: 6.3

Fruity

The Blueberry pop-tart is the first of the three fruity flavors I will be ranking. It is sweet and does have good blueberry flavor that does not taste overly processed. Its coloring is also fairly more enticing than the Brown Sugar Cinnamon. While the frosting is just white, it does have colorful sugar crystals on top that make it more whimsical. This pastry taste just fine un-warmed, and it is still a viable option when you have no time to warm something up in the mornings. However, wh1!en warmed up it is in a whole other stratosphere. It tastes like a warm blueberry pie or a fresh blueberry muffin. It is unmatched in the fruity flavors when warmed.

Flavor: 7.5

Warmability: 9.5

Appearance: 6.5

Average: 7.8

Cherry pop-tarts are…unique. While I wish to remain unbiased, I feel it necessary to say that I have never enjoyed Cherry pop-tarts. However, I will rank it based solely on its own merit. Firstly, Cherry gets a bad rep because it is not a very popular flavor in any form. It does deserve credit for remaining a popular flavor despite its drawbacks. It is relatively sweet and the filling is an appealing color. Red is a color that stimulates the tastebuds and appetite. This is, likely, a large part of its popularity. Similarly to the Blueberry pop-tart, it has a white frosting with colored sugar on top. This pop-tart tastes better when not warmed. While it is not utterly revolting when un-warmed, it does not carry the same appeal as the Blueberry when warmed.

Flavor: 7

Warmability: 5

Appearance: 8

Average: 6.7

Strawberry pop-tarts have great appeal in multiple categories. Strawberry is a universally well-loved flavor from candies to desserts. It also shares the appealing red hue of the Cherry pop-tarts. It has a combination of both the Blueberry and Cherry’s better qualities. It has the same frosting and sugar granules on top. In terms of warming, it is in the middle of the two. It is perfectly fine when warmed, but it does lean more towards the un-warmed side. This is most likely due to the existence of fewer warmed strawberry foods. If you are one to prefer your pop-tarts warmed, this is surely a great option.

Flavor: 7.5

Warmability: 6

Appearance: 8

Average: 7.2

Here is the ranking:

1. Chocolate Fudge (8.7)

2. Blueberry (7.8)

3. Strawberry (7.2)

4. Cherry (6.7)

5. S’mores (6.3)

6. Brown Sugar Cinnamon (6.2)

While these are the ranking based on their characteristics, it really doesn’t matter which flavor you choose. If you like Brown Sugar Cinnamon then get it! Everyone’s tastes are different and so who is to say which one it best. I suppose it is subjective. With that being said, my ranking is not biased or based solely on my opinions. I took the defining characteristics of all six pop-tarts and compared them with the most universal ideas of what is appealing in both flavor and appearance. Regardless, choose the one you want. More importantly, don’t @ me if yours isn’t number one.

Which pop-tart flavor is your favorite?

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