Mythical Monsters: The Sihuanaba

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Ladies, have you ever dealt with crude and unoriginal catcallers? Unwanted fortune-seekers sliding into your DMs? Weird guys at parties making painful attempts to flirt despite the blatant signals that you’re not even remotely interested? Well, you can put away your pepper spray and middle-finger emoji, because the Sihuanaba—mythical monster and feminist icon extraordinaire—has your back.

Native to Central America, the Sihuanaba waits until nightfall to begin her hunt. Of old, she used to haunt the rivers where young men would come to spy on bathing women, but more recently she has taken to lurking in the alleys behind seedy bars. There, she waits in hiding to lure her favorite prey: persistently lecherous men who refuse to get the hint. Her next meal in sight, the Sihuanaba glides out from the darkness, wearing only a sheer robe—or, more often than not, nothing at all. With her face coyly averted, she appears to be a stunningly beautiful woman straight off the fashion runway; she suggestively beckons the would-be Romeo, each time dancing playfully out of his grasp. Soon, she will have led him far away from civilization, where not a soul remains to hear his hideous dying screams. Finally, the Sihuanaba turns to him, letting him enfold her in his heated embrace, unaware that her grip on him is not that of an impassioned lover but a lethal ambush predator. With the unwitting soul hopelessly trapped, the Sihuanaba tosses her silken hair back and lets him behold her true visage: a gaping human skull webbed with sticky, rotting flesh. Paralyzed with terror, her hapless victim has scant seconds to contemplate his brief future as she closes in for the kill.

He gets his kiss—but it’s not the one that he expected.

When the deed is done, the Sihuanaba crawls back to her den as the first rays of dawn tinge the world a balmy pink. Like a butterfly emerging from its chrysalis, she will arise at dusk with a perfectly-formed face to match her sumptuous body, indistinguishable from a lovely—if unusually so—young woman. She is now free to walk among humans as she pleases, but make no mistake: she is already searching for her next victim. In three days, her temporary mask will rot away, and it will be time for her to feed once again.

So to catcallers and Casanovas alike, a friendly piece of advice: before you let an unnecessary comment slip past your lips, consider well how much you like your face, and whether or not you’d like to keep it. Even if it’s not a Sihuanaba you’re dealing with, you may find yourself in dire and well-deserved danger.