After a long and strenuous season, it is time for me to admit something that has haunted me since the third grade, plagued me all season, and has slowly evolved into a reality. My fantasy football team is awful. When I was eight years old, my dad and I co-owned a fantasy football team, and I immediately fell in love with the idea of fantasy sports, in particular fantasy football. Fantasy basketball and baseball attempted to draw me into their captivating grips, but daily lineups, multiple positions, and the need for resting players made me miss fantasy football more and more. My love for the sport grew over the years, as did my skills and knowledge of the game. As a decorated three time champion of an ESPN 10-team fantasy football league, I consider myself a reputable and worthy opponent of any other semi-professional player, in any league. However, I was blindsided and taken advantage of in one of my three leagues this year. With the draft in early August, I was notified of it two days before it commenced, and had no time to research who to draft. Going with ESPN the Magazine’s draft advice, I selected the massive bust Ryan Tannehill, quarterback of the failing Miami Dolphins offense. With a team full of mediocre players and Julio Jones, the second highest overall scorer in PPR leagues this year, I confidently captured a week one victory, followed by losing the next seven games. In the middle of my seven game skid, I attempted to reverse my luck with a simple running back for running back trade, swapping Lamar Miller for TJ Yeldon. A day after I traded away the Dolphins’ RB, Miami fired their head coach, placing run-heavy Dan Campbell at the helm. Lamar Miller proceeded to be one of the leading scorers through the next four weeks, and had I not made that trade, I would have won three of the seven games I lost. This trade nearly singlehandedly ruined my season, as I now sit at 3-10, one week away from the playoffs. Had this trade not been made, I would now be 8-5, poised for a potential run at the championship. But as I step away from my hindsight-driven fantasy football season, I face the harsh reality of a possible Sacko playoff.

The term Sacko is derived from the TV show The League, and is a series of punishments given to the last place person in their league. This year, the punishment for the last place player in my league is having to stand in just a speedo in Marion Square for an hour, holding a sign that reads”I suck at Fantasy Football”. I’m not personally sure what I find more embarrassing, showing off my white thighs to the world of downtown Charleston, or openly admitting my incompetence at fantasy football in this given league. With my debilitated fantasy football team and four weeks left, I need just one well-timed win to avoid the bitter sadness that comes with a last place finish. Wish me luck, and beware when traveling downtown.