Their names were Romulus and Remus, both condemned to death at birth by an evil king. Raised and nurtured by wolves, they grew strong and ousted the tyrant who sentenced them to death at infancy. Then, Romulus killed Remus and founded his eponymous city on the banks of the Tiber River.
According to legend, at least.
However Rome was founded, it didn’t happen in just one day. But at its height, it was powerful, expansive, and seriously corrupt, leading to its downfall in A.D. CDLXXVI. But in A.D. MMXXIII, it rose again…this time on the banks of the river TikTok.
Last month, stemming from one viral video of a woman asking her boyfriend how often he thinks of the Roman Empire, other users of the social media app discovered that the average man privately thinks about the Roman Empire surprisingly frequently. “Almost every day,” says Tyler Altman (9). Charlie Bhat (10) concurred.
With this in mind, I found out what various Academic Magnet students think about on the daily—their “Roman Empires,” so to speak. For those of you who are still confused about this, do not feel left out. Many interviewees were not familiar with the trend and were slightly confused about what to say, especially if they regularly thought about something that was not the real-life Roman Empire. Maybe they aren’t chronically online like many of us, or maybe they’re obsessively thinking about something else important.
As an aside, Tyler and Charlie’s claims actually have a lot of validity, since there’s a lot to marvel about when it comes to the Roman Empire. From its military strategies, to its infrastructure, and even its language, almost every aspect of Roman culture has had some sort of effect on our modern lives. We can attribute about 60% of English words to the Latin language, and an even larger percentage to the five main Romance languages: Spanish, French, Italian, Portuguese, and Romanian. We can thank the Romans (before Julius Caesar, at least) for giving the Founding Fathers of the United States the idea of a representative democracy.
But even if you don’t happen to think about the Roman Empire all the time, the Talon staff and I can almost guarantee that you secretly think about something else obscure, historical, or culturally significant (or all three) more than anyone else may realize. Sutton Meyer (12) said to me, “I think about that one time when Wendy Williams fell down on live TV in her Statue of Liberty costume.” This was her Roman Empire. Coltrane Margosian (12) also recalled a similar broadcast, when the Undertaker threw Mankind off the top of a 20-foot steel cage in their famous WWE match.
Movie and TV show references were also popular responses to my question. For Kaylee Cathcart (12), her Roman Empire was related to the Star Wars saga and whatever happened to Anakin and Padmaé. Milla Broadwater (12) and Emma Herrin (12) love Jane Lynch’s character of Sue Sylvester from Glee. They say, “Sue is literally the most iconic person out there.” The Notebook, Mamma Mia, La La Land, and Barbie were also mentioned.
The mysterious breakup of the former “Sister Squad,” consisting of YouTube stars Ethan and Grayson Dolan, James Charles, and Emma Chamberlain, always bugs Elaina Seymour (12), and Elaine Chen (11) never goes a day without thinking about Elijah Wood’s hilarious “Do You Wear Wigs?” interview. In line with our obsession with celebrities, Piper Hudgins (12) often questions how much her favorite celebrities are actually worth. “I mean, do you think Elon Musk is for real when the Internet says he’s worth $250 billion?”
If it’s not popular culture, Reece Early (11) and Eli Sherman (10) are preoccupied with thoughts of basketball players like Taj Gibson and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, respectively. Landen Stowe (12) told me that he was upset with Joe Burrow at last year’s Super Bowl—if he had thrown the ball to Ja’Marr Chase (who was wide open), the Bengals may have won the game. Wilson Burns (12) thinks about the sports to which he is most personally attached. In this case, it is SOA 8th grader and fellow swim team member Michael LaPosta, who was a crucial team member and source of energy during this year’s swim season.
While Sawyer Quertermous (11) often thinks about his friend Fritz Browning (11), Rose Dillon (11) envisions herself riding a horse through the forest, something she says would be very freeing and a dream come true. Cy Benich (11) contemplates the universe beyond the limits of our solar system. Who knows where everything came from? Is there any other intelligent life out there? What will the rest of time look like?
Some of our teachers had their own unique responses. While Ms. Desbrow often thinks about “that one time when they asked me to teach English,” Ms. Hurt takes a more serious approach, constantly wondering why intelligent people make uneducated and rash decisions in political polls. With the 2024 elections just over a year away, this is becoming a topic of importance now more than ever. Jordan Burrell (12) also thinks about politics, specifically Henry Clay, the man who never had the privilege of being president.
George Janczukiewicz (10) had one very specific thing in mind. “The 1970 Plymouth Roadrunner Superbird.” I wasn’t sure what this car looked like at first, but after finding a picture online, I can see why George finds it so interesting. Lastly, Jack Vinzani (11) thinks about the next time he can play his favorite video game, Fallout: New Vegas.
Personally, I think a lot about the subway in New York City. Since there are so many trains, stops, terminals, lines, and schedules, I find that it is already overwhelming to even begin to understand how the vast system works.
Yet, all in all, our recent fixations are simply our personal “Roman Empires.” They capture our attention, enrich our thoughts, and make us think more deeply about the world in which we live today, as well as the world in which our ancestors lived centuries ago. Each is a testament to our own mental kingdoms and the dynamic nature of the human condition. So, et tu? What’s your Roman Empire?
