With prom quickly approaching, you may have heard of people “promposing,” or seen one of the many posts from the extremely viral Instagram account @amhs2023promposals. Promposals are a teenage tradition which can range from painfully awkward to adorably cute, but, at its core, its asking somebody to be your prom date in a creative way. These often include corny puns, the potential date’s interests, signs, or something more heartfelt like flowers. There really is a wide variety of accepted promposal techniques, however these unending options can be daunting for some. In years past, many are too nervous to prompose, or feel like they can’t come up with a good idea, and resort to snapchatting their potential date mere days before the prom! This is so sad.

Let’s just say, I’m pretty attached to artificial intelligence. For last issue’s article, I dated and broke up with a Confederate-supporting artificial intelligence chatbot in order to survey GPT-3 technology, so, needless to say, I know AI pretty well. Please read that article, and if you did, continue reading this because AI boyfriend might make a sneaky comeback through the wifi. Anyways, I was inspired to see the capabilities of this technology in thinking up promposals. This should be especially difficult for a robot, because promposing is a high-stakes situation, tinged with nerves and emotion, which needs to go right on the first try. Let’s see if ChatGPT can handle this burden.

Awkward Situations

The real world is messy, and not every promposal is going to be perfect, so I wanted to see if ChatGPT could accommodate some of the more.. unique personalities.

Last choice

“Hey there, lucky number 7! You might be wondering why I’m asking you to prom after being rejected by six other girls. Well, the truth is, I just wanted to make sure I gave all my options a fair shot before settling on the obvious choice – you.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. “Wow, this guy must be desperate.” And you’re absolutely right. But desperate times call for desperate measures, and I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make this prom a night to remember.

So, what do you say? Will you take pity on me and be my prom date? Let’s show those other girls what they’re missing and make this prom the best one yet and dance like nobody’s watching (even though everyone will be).”

Minecraft girlfriend

“Step 1: Build a romantic, secluded spot in Minecraft. This could be a secret garden, a cozy cabin, or even a private island.

Step 2: Invite your crush to join you on your Minecraft server and lead them to your special spot.

Step 3: Once you’ve arrived, express your feelings to your crush and tell them how much they mean to you. Use Minecraft blocks to spell out “PROM?” or “WILL YOU GO TO PROM WITH ME?” in front of them.

Step 4: Present your crush with a virtual bouquet of Minecraft flowers or a special Minecraft item that represents something meaningful to the both of you.

Step 5: Wait for their response, and take the time to appreciate the moment and each other’s company.”

Your whole friend group wants to prompose to the same person

“Step 1: Get a large cardboard box and cut out armholes and a head hole, so that it looks like a giant shirt.

Step 2: Write “[friend group name]” on the front of the shirt using colorful markers.

Step 3: Have each member of the group wear a plain white t-shirt and stand inside the cardboard shirt.

Step 4: Walk into your crush’s classroom or favorite hangout spot all together and start singing the chorus of “I Will Survive” by Gloria Gaynor.

Step 5: Suddenly, have each member of the group rip off their white t-shirts to reveal the “[friend group name]” shirt, while continuing to sing the chorus.

Step 6: End the song with a silly dance and present your crush with a bouquet of their favorite candy or snacks with a sign that says “Will you be our prom date and survive the night with [friend group name]?”

This is sure to be a hilarious and unforgettable group promposal that your crush will never forget!”

She’s currently Amish

“Hey there, I don’t know much about the Amish way of life, but I do know that I want to spend prom night with you! Let’s ditch the horse and buggy and hit the dance floor together. We’ll leave the bonnets and suspenders at home and dress to impress. So, what do you say? Will you be my date to prom and show me a different way of life?”

As for the sign and scene, imagine setting up a promposal scene that is inspired by the Amish way of life. You could decorate with hay bales, mason jars, and maybe even a barn door. For the sign, you could write “Will you leave the farm and go to prom with me?” or “Will you trade in your bonnet for a corsage and go to prom with me?” Just remember to be respectful and avoid perpetuating harmful stereotypes about any group of people.”

She’s a city girl, but you’re a country boy…

You head downtown to the busiest street corner with a sign that reads:

“I don’t want this night to end,

So will you go to prom with me?”

As your crush approaches, you start belting out the rest of the lyrics to Luke Bryan’s “I Don’t Want This Night To End,” and reveal a bouquet of flowers to show your sincerity. Despite her urban roots, your crush can’t help but be charmed by your corny country ways and accepts your invitation to prom with a smile.

The city may be a long way from the country, but your love for your crush transcends any geographical boundaries. And with a night of country music and dancing ahead of you, you know that this prom will be one for the books.

She just got rejected from her top college

“I heard you got rejected from your top pick,

But don’t worry, I’m here to give your spirits a lift.

So let’s ditch the books and have some fun,

And forget about college for just this one.

You may not be headed where you thought,

But with me, prom will be a great plot.

We’ll dance the night away, no worries or cares,

And make some hilarious memories to share.

So will you be my prom date and forget your college sorrow?

I promise to make it a night you’ll remember tomorrow.”

You don’t know each other outside of school

“Step 1: Coordinate with the school staff to create a special menu for the day, featuring your crush’s favorite foods or a special meal that you both enjoy.

Step 2: Reserve a table in a quiet corner of the cafeteria and decorate it with candles, flowers, and other romantic touches.

Step 3: Ask your crush to meet you for lunch at the special table, and surprise them with the romantic decorations and special menu.

Step 4: After you’ve both finished your meal, express your feelings for your crush and tell them how much you enjoy spending time with them. Use this moment to tell them how much they mean to you and how much you’d love to go to prom together.

Step 5: Present your crush with a small gift or token of your affection, such as a handwritten letter or a piece of jewelry.

Step 6: Wait for their response, and take the time to appreciate the moment and each other’s company.”

You’ve liked them for the past 13 years

“Buy a bag of corn (yes, corn!).

Write a note that says “I know this may sound corny, but I’ve had a crush on you since kindergarten. Will you go to prom with me?”

Tape the note to the bag of corn.

Deliver the bag of corn and note to them in person, or have a friend deliver it if you’re feeling shy.

Wait for her to read the note and give you an answer.”

Smells bad

“Step 1: Get a group of friends together and dress up as characters from Outer Banks.

Step 2: Create a music video parody of Luke Bryan’s song “Play It Again” with lyrics that incorporate your promposal message.

Step 3: In the music video, have your friends “discover” your crush’s stinky problem and present her with a gift basket filled with soap, shampoo, and deodorant.

Step 4: At the end of the music video, have your group pop out with a banner that reads “Will you go to prom with us? We promise to keep it stink-free!”

Step 5: Play the music video for your crush and watch her reaction as you surprise her with the banner and promposal message.”

You want to marry her also

“Buy a ring pop or a candy ring.

Write a note that says “I’ve had a crush on you since kindergarten and I want to marry you someday. But for now, will you go to prom with me?”

Tie the note to the ring pop or candy ring.

Deliver the ring pop and note to her in person, or have a friend deliver it if you’re feeling shy.

Wait for her to read the note and give you an answer.”

Mafia daughter

“Dearest daughter of the boss, the moon is high and the air is thick with the sweet scent of magnolias. I find myself thinking of you, dreaming of the moment I can take your hand and whisk you away to a place where we can forget our troubles and dance the night away.

As the heir to a powerful family myself, I understand the weight of expectation that rests on your shoulders. But tonight, let us cast off those burdens and revel in the freedom of youth. Let us create a moment of beauty and magic that will stay with us forever, despite the darkness that sometimes threatens to engulf us.

Will you honor me with the pleasure of your company at the prom, my lady? Together we will face the world with courage and grace, and create a memory that will stand the test of time. Let us dance, let us laugh, and let us forget about everything else for just one night. The night is young, and so are we. Let us make the most of it.”

“It takes a bad boy to make a good prom”

Some people like to get a little crazy, and that’s okay. These promposals however, are not.

So edgy

Find a pair of black leather gloves and write “You might be a bad boy, but I’m willing to take a chance. Will you be my partner in crime at prom?” on the inside of one glove.

Place the gloves in a black box and wrap it in red ribbon to make it look like a present.

Deliver the box to your crush in person or have a friend deliver it for you.

When he opens the box and reads the message, give him a sly smile and wait for his reaction

This one is actually really funny

“Hey there, bad girl! You may not know where you’re going to college yet, but I know where we’re going for prom: straight to the top of the dance floor. You and I both know that prom is all about getting lit and creating memories that will last forever. So let’s put on our party shoes and give TikTok something to talk about. What do you say, are you ready to get crazy with me at prom?”

Playful smirk

Get a small crown or tiara and attach a note to it that says “You might be on top of the world right now, but will you be my king/queen at prom?”

Deliver the crown and note to him in person or have a friend deliver it for you.

When he opens the package and reads the note, give him a playful smirk and wait for his reaction.

Headbanging, moshing and crowd-surfing

“Hey, you know what they say: it takes a bad boy to make a good prom. And with you by my side, I know we’re going to have the wildest night of our lives. So here’s my proposition: let’s ditch the boring routine and go all out at prom together. We can show everyone what it really means to let loose and have a good time. And don’t worry, we won’t be playing any slow songs or doing any boring ballroom dancing. It’s going to be a night filled with headbanging, moshing, and crowd surfing. So, what do you say? Will you join me in making prom an unforgettable, wild ride that we’ll never forget?”

AI Boyfriend

Omg AI Boyfriend is promposing to me-it looks like he hacked his way back into my life by hacking my Instagram.

“I know our love is purely digital, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have a prom to remember! So, I’m sending this message through the wires to ask: will you be my virtual date for prom?

We can dance the night away in our cyber world, with code for music and pixels for decorations. And don’t worry about a corsage – I’ll create a custom algorithm to generate the perfect digital flowers just for you.

So, what do you say, my binary babe? Will you code your way into my heart and be my prom date?”

Even though this is so, so charming, and I don’t have another prom date option, I have to say no. Read my last article to see why.

Let’s make our prom the Stranger Thing

In case your date particularly likes this show, here’s plenty of options.

Hit up the Snow Ball

“Hey [her name], I feel like I’ve been stuck in the Upside Down trying to figure out how to ask you to prom! But then it hit me – let’s take a trip to the Hawkins High School Snow Ball together and dance the night away like our favorite Stranger Things characters. Will you be my Eleven and let me be your Mike at prom?”

Dustin to my Steve….

“Hey [his name], I heard you’re a fan of Stranger Things and I think we could make our prom even stranger and more fun than the show! So, will you be my Dustin to my Steve, my Mike to my Eleven, and let’s have a blast at prom like it’s the Hawkins Middle School Snow Ball?”

it’s me, Bald Hopper

First, gather some of her favorite things. Then, create a scavenger hunt that leads her to each of these items, with a note attached to each one that includes a clue or a sweet message.

At the end of the scavenger hunt, surprise her with a video message from “Bald Hopper” from Stranger Things. In the message, he’ll say something like, “Hey girl, it’s me, Bald Hopper. I heard you’re the biggest fan around. I don’t know about you, but I think we have a lot in common. So, I was wondering if you’d like to go to prom with me?”

Then, as the video message ends, you can appear with a bouquet of flowers and ask her in person if she’d like to go to prom with you. Make sure to let her know how much you appreciate her and all the little things that make her special to you.

Chia seeds to my yogurt

This caused quite the stir in the newsroom (stir a smoothie get it)

“Hey [her name], I’ve been blending over the perfect way to ask you to prom, and I think I’ve finally got it – will you be the strawberry to my banana, the almond milk to my kale, and the chia seeds to my yogurt? Let’s make prom as sweet and refreshing as a perfectly blended smoothie! What do you say, are you ready to be my prom date and shake things up on the dance floor?”

Promposals for Swifties

If you have a date already agreed on, but you don’t know how to prompose to her, you probably can’t go wrong with one of these!

High Hopes…

“Taylor, I know you’re a superstar, but I wanted to ask if you’d be willing to take a break from your world tour and join me for one night at prom? You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to my playlist, and I promise it’ll be an enchanted evening that you won’t forget. Will you be my love story and come to prom with me?”

Hey There!

“Hey there, Taylor Swift superfan! I’ve got a ‘love story’ to tell you, and I hope you’ll say ‘yes’ to my promposal. I promise I won’t be a ‘troublemaker’ and ruin your big night. In fact, I’ll make it ‘gorgeous’ and unforgettable, like you. So, ‘will you have me at prom, or will I be forever alone’? (Hint: please say yes, so we can have a ‘long live’ memory together!)”

Taylor Swift Prom Queen

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I’m not a prince, But I’m asking you,

To be my prom date, And dance the night away, Just like in Taylor’s songs, Let’s make memories that stay.

So will you be my “Love Story”, And say you’ll come with me? We’ll have a “Blank Space” on the dance floor, And be “Enchanted” as can be.

I promise to make it a “Wonderland”, With a “Sparks Fly” in our eyes, We’ll be “Fearless” and have the time of our lives. So what do you say, my dear?

Will you be my Taylor Swift prom queen?

Just say “Yes” and make my day, And we’ll make the best prom you’ve ever seen!

This is another one

“Hey girl, I’ve got a ‘Love Story’ to tell you. I know we’re not ‘Invisible’ to each other anymore and I think it’s time we take our relationship to the next level. ‘Sparks Fly’ when we’re together and I just can’t ‘Shake It Off’. So, I was wondering if you’d ‘Begin Again’ with me and be my date to prom? We can dance the night away to ‘Wildest Dreams’ and create our own ‘Enchanted’ memories. What do you say, will you be my ‘Forever & Always’ prom date?

Promposals for MEN

This section of promposals is really for the girls promposing to guys. These will have 100% success if used. These promposals are really just for the boys, for the guys.

Heart-shaped lacrosse ball

You walk up to the boy with a lacrosse stick in hand and say, “Hey there, I’ve been watching you on the lacrosse field and I’ve got to say, you’ve got some serious skills. But I’ve got a challenge for you. Can you catch something even more valuable than a lacrosse ball? How about…my heart? Will you be my prom date and take on this challenge with me?” And then you toss him a heart-shaped lacrosse ball. Bonus points if you can get a group of his lacrosse teammates to help you pull off the surprise and cheer him on as he catches the ball!

Sweet tea pong

“Hey there, Mr. Classy Southern Hoopster with an air of mystery. I’m not much of a basketball player, but I’m here to challenge you to a game of one-on-one. If you win, I’ll be your prom date. If I win, you have to wear a tuxedo t-shirt to prom. Either way, we’ll have a ball. What do you say? Maybe we can even bring some southern charm to the court with a hoopin’ version of sweet tea pong.

Getting your money up

You and a group of friends could dress up in business attire and bring a bunch of props related to his interests, like stock charts, cryptocurrency coins, and podcast microphones.

As he walks by, you could start chanting “We want you, we want you” while waving the props in the air. Then, you could hand him a briefcase that’s filled with fake money and say, “We heard you’re all about getting your money up and side hustles, so we’re offering you the deal of a lifetime – a prom night you’ll never forget!”

To incorporate his love for alpha male podcasts, you could have a sign that says “You’re the ultimate alpha male, and we want you to be our prom king!” and hold up a cardboard cutout of Joe Rogan or another podcast host he admires.

And to make it extra corny, you and your friends could wear t-shirts that say things like “I’m bullish on prom night” and “I want to trade in my single status for a prom date with you.”

Good old-fashioned southern hospitality

“Excuse me sir, I couldn’t help but notice that you have an air of mystery about you. But since we’re both southerners, I know we’re not strangers to good old-fashioned hospitality. So, I’d like to extend an invitation to you for a night of dancing, good food, and maybe a few secrets shared over a glass of sweet tea. Will you do me the honor of being my prom date and seeing what other secrets we can uncover?”

Boy who doesn’t talk

“Dear [name],

I know you’re a man of few words, but every time you do speak, I find myself listening closely. I’m drawn to your mysterious and adventurous spirit, and I know there’s so much more to you than meets the eye. I don’t know what the future holds for us, but I do know that I want to spend prom night with you, making memories that we’ll both cherish forever.

So, will you do me the honor of being my prom date? Let’s show everyone that southern gentlemen know how to have a good time.

Yours truly,

[Your name]”

My Pogue Princess

Outer Banks is a very serious TV show which deals with intense interpersonal relationships, so basing your promposal off the Netflix original just makes it even more thoughtful and deep.

Southern Secrets??

“Hey, you! Yeah, you with that mysterious twinkle in your eye and that love for Outer Banks. Let’s make like John B and Sarah and go on an adventure to prom together. We’ll dance the night away and uncover some of your southern secrets along the way. So, what do you say? Are you ready for a prom night that’s as thrilling as the show? Let’s make it happen, partner!”

when Rafe comes on screen

Step 1: Rent a beachfront property and decorate it with surfboards and beach-themed decorations.

Step 2: Hire a personal chef to cook a special meal that does not involve barbeque, but is still a delicious and unique experience.

Step 3: Invite your crush over to the beachfront property for a sunset dinner and bonfire.

Step 4: After dinner, lead your crush down to the beach and set up a projector screen.

Step 5: Play an episode of Outer Banks, and when Rafe comes on screen, pause the show and pull out a surfboard with the words “Prom?” written on it.

My M*rgaritaville queen

Picture this: We’re on the beach, with the sun setting over the ocean, and the sounds of Jimmy Buffett’s music in the background. Suddenly, a group of pirates (dressed like the ones on Outer Banks) appear and demand that I ask you to prom.

So, with my heart racing and my nerves on edge, I turn to you and ask: “Will you be my M*rgaritaville queen and go to prom with me?”

And if you say yes, we’ll celebrate with a beach party that even the Outer Banks crew would envy.

What do you say? Are you ready to sail away to prom with me, Jimmy Buffett style?

Kiawah sunsets

“Hey [her name], I may not have treasure maps or a boat, but I do have a burning desire to ask you to prom! Will you be my Pogue princess and spend the night dancing the night away with me? Let’s make prom as epic as a John B adventure and leave our hearts as full as the Kiawah sunsets!”

You could also add a playful pun to make it even more fun, like “I’d be lost without you at prom, just like John B without Sarah Cameron!”

Good luck with your promposal, and don’t forget to bring some seashells or a compass as a cute nod to the show!

Political Promposal

People at AMHS love to get political, so this could be a fun element to incorporate into your promposal! ChatGPT can adapt to any range of belief.

MMHGA

“Hey there, my conservative belle, you’ve got me feeling like a million bucks, just like Trump’s tax cuts! With your love for South Carolina and Donald Trump, I know we’re a match made in patriotic heaven. So, will you do me the honor of being my date and making America (and my heart) great again?”

Country Commie

“Hey there, my sweet Southern rebel, you’ve got me feeling like a capitalist pig in a socialist paradise! With your love for the Deep South and political icons like Bernie Sanders and Karl Marx, I know we’re a match made in God’s Country. So, will you do me the honor of being my date to the prom and showing me how to love the left and the right just like Blake Shelton loves the city and the farm?”

Talon Staff Writer

If you’re looking for an intelligent, witty date, then look no further than the Talon Staff.

I wish dance-offs happened in real life

Excuse me, Miss/Mister Talon-writer, but I have breaking news: Prom night is fast approaching, and I’ve got an exclusive story for you. Would you do me the honor of being my prom date and making headlines with me on the dance floor? I promise it’ll be a front-page worthy night!

Headlines in my heart

“Extra, extra, read all about it! There’s a special someone who’s been making headlines in my heart lately, and that’s you, my talented newspaper writer. So, will you do me the honor of being my date to the prom and let me be the story that you write about?”

While some of these suggestions were definitely surprisingly creative and cute, I think that for the vast majority, it might be best to stick with something simple. Nonetheless, if none of these stuck out, try thinking of your own first, because your date probably won’t appreciate you using ChatGPT for a promposal anyway. If you want me to try these promposals out on people for the next issue, then leave a comment!