Napoleon Dynamite

Prom is just around the corner, on Saturday April 29th, 2023. In just a few Saturdays, upperclassmen Raptors will be converging at Founders Hall in Charles Towne Landing 7:30-11:00 p.m. for a night of dancing. Address:

1500 Old Towne Rd, Charleston, SC 29407

The theme this year is Great Gatsby, a theme upperclassmen are familiar with thanks to junior year reading requirements. Tickets must be purchased in advance on RevTrack, $55 for an individual ticket and $90 for couples tickets: 

https://academicmagneths.revtrak.net/events/#/v/junior-and-senior-prom-tickets-04-29-23 

If you wish to bring an outside guest, you may complete and return the following guest form to Ms. McCall by Monday April 17, 2023 in order to be eligible for administrative approval:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1LYsGMJ7A2KDxNEY7P0HkFk0DNHEVvJhaEfZX5OIwe6w/edit 

Okay, time to secure a prom date. Hopefully, you are trying to go to prom with someone who appropriately appreciates cinematic masterpieces (a.k.a. Napoleon Dynamite). Thus, the best way to prompose is with a Napoleon Dynamite-themed promposal (this is the only obvious conclusion). Okay, let’s prompose with style!

“You remind me of chapstick because you da balm. Prom?”

An ode to Napoleon’s chapped lips, utilize a clever lip balm pun to win over your date. If you really want to go the extra mile, complete your promposal with Napoleon Dynamite-themed chapstick. Maybe this is overboard, but it really does complete the promposal. (For a less ambitious promposer, regular chapstick will also do.)

“It would be egg-celent if you went to prom with me”

Very on-theme with Napoleon’s stunt on Lyle’s chicken farm, this promposal is another great pun that will leave your prospective date swooning. To step it up either further, bring your promposee blended raw eggs and an egg sandwich. Yum!

If you’re shy and too nervous to ask your date out in-person, an easy solution is to leave a promposal cake at their house. Pick up a small cake (or bake one if you want to show off your baking skills, after all, girls only want boyfriends who have great skills) boldly ice “[your name] loves [prospective date’s name]” and then ring the doorbell and run away. Your promposee will have time to muse over the question, and can pass you a note at school the next day with their answer. While it didn’t work out well for Pedro, a Napoleon Dynamite fan would definitely fall for this. 

Another bold promposal is to draw a picture of your date, write “prom?” under it, and leave it at their house. This specific promposal might really freak them out if they don’t understand the Napoleon Dynamite reference (it might also freak them out if they do understand the reference). This promposal could go really well, or really poorly. Decide if this is a risk you’re willing to take.

“Let’s dance in style, let’s dance for a while. Prom?”

Finally, if the other ideas seem too far-fetched, settle for the iconic lyrics from Forever Young that Napoleon and Deb dance at their own prom. Bring a speaker and blast Alphaville while promposing, it is literally impossible for any real Napoleon Dynamite fan to refuse.