AMHS Teachers as Gossip Girl Characters

Within our community, our teachers are not only known for their high academic standards but also their likeness to the privileged Upper East Side teens from CW’s Gossip Girl. While this is certainly not the first time our instructors have been compared to the GG cast, I decided to assign each character to their AMHS alter ego.

Chuck Bass and Mr. Johntson

The infamous Chuck Bass is known for his serious demeanor, dedication to the business world, and his unlimited amount of neck scarves. Mr. Johnson is certainly dedicated to teaching math and many students report that it is difficult to tell when he is joking. If Mr. Johntson just wore a purple scarf and were a teenage billionaire, he and Chuck Bass would be almost indistinguishable. 

Nate Archibald and Mr. Rush 

Nate is known for his honesty, easy-going nature, and friendliness. This is why Mr. Rush had to be Nate. I feel that Nate and Mr. Rush would have a lot in common and would become fast friends. For Gossip Girl, Nate remains relatively drama-free, which is how Mr. Rush is viewed in our Raptor community. 

Serena Vanderwoodsen and Ms. Hooffstetter

Serena is the ultimate it-girl and is known for her famous line, “I have to go.” Ms. Hooffstetter is definitely one of our AMHS influencers and she can be difficult to track down since she’s always on the go. These blondes both know how to have a good time as Ms. Hooffstetter is the senior class teacher rep and is planning our Disney trip!

Lily Vanderwoodsen and Ms. Zerbst

Lily Vanderwoodsen and Ms. Zerbst share a refined sense of style and a leadership position in their communities. Lily is well-known for taking the lead in the Vanderwoodsen-Bass-Humphrey family just like how Ms. Zerbst leads the AMHS tribe. Zerbst and Vanderwoodsen are both known throughout our school for their infamous pasts-Lily defying her mother to run away with rockstars and Ms. Zerbst attending college at the age of 12. Both ladies maintain a level of secrecy that keep the raptors asking questions. 

Blair Waldorf and Ms. Colon 

After much deliberation, the coveted title of Queen B was given to Ms. Colon. Just like Blair, Ms. Colon is determined and confident. While luckily we do not see Ms. Colon pulling off Blair-level schemes, I think she is certainly capable. Both Waldorph and Colon are forces to be reckoned with and are known for their witty sarcasm. 

Eric Vanderwoodsen and Mr. Schmitt 

Computer science teacher Mr. Schmitt and teenager Eric Vanderwoodsen have a lot in common. Both are kind, well-mannered, and tend to avoid the drama around them. Eric and Mr. Schmitt are both well-rounded and overall friendly people. While we don’t see Eric mastering Code.org throughout the show, I feel that with a little guidance, he could become a strong coder.

Dan Humphrey and Mr. McCormick

Our AMHS “lonely boy” has got to be Mr. McCormick. Dan Humphrey is the ultimate Gossip Girl which we learn in season 6 and I see Mr. McCormick enjoying a role where he writes about his community on a secret online blog from the comfort of a Brooklyn loft. I also feel that Dan could have a career as an educator in the future. If only Dan was a Spin class instructor, then the two would be clones!

Jenny Humphrey and Ms. Bortz 

Jenny and Ms. Bortz are both outspoken and creative. I feel that in another life Ms. Bortz may have had a future in a fashion career and an interest in dark-eye makeup. Jenny is always in the center of the drama and Ms. Bortz has a passion for on-stage drama. I feel that these two could make an unstoppable duo or perhaps end in flames like Jenny’s collection of dresses in Season 2. 

Ms. Hurt and Georgina Sparks 

Georgina is notorious, loveable, and very amusing. Georgina is like a phoenix-she comes back to life after numerous Blair Waldoph take-downs which is certainly a difficult feat. I feel that Ms. Hurt would definitely be able to go head-to-head with Blair and emerge unscathed time and time again. While it remains unclear if Ms. Hurt has ever been sent to a religious boot camp or pretended to be another girl named “Sarah,” the similarities between Ms. Hurt and Georgina are undeniable. 

Dorota and Ms. Grayson 

Dorota is the favorite character of millions of GG fans and Ms. Grayson has a similar popularity within our community. Just like Ms. Grayson, Dorota is kind-hearted but is always willing to help out a scheme for those she cares about. Ms. Grayson and Dorota are both humorous and loyal, making them so well-liked.

Nelly Yuki and Ms. Smith 

Nelly is basically Ms. Smith in a Constance uniform. Like Ms. Smith, Nelly is determined and focused on her academic pursuits. Nelly is willing to stop at no means to achieve her dreams of going to Yale, in the same way, Ms. Smith is highly determined to ensure all her students receive 5’s on AP Research and AP Seminar. 

Bart Bass and Mr. Perlmutter 

This just makes sense. Bart and Perlmutter have very similar mannerisms and I can see Bart as the principal of a high school in another life. While Mr. Perlmutter has yet to fake his death or develop a large brand of hotels, he and Bart Bass are very much alike. 

Rufus Humphrey and Mr. Grimshaw

With their shared love of music and kind manner, Rufus and Mr. Grimshaw would be fast friends. I believe the two would enjoy rocking out together and Rufus will bring some of his famous waffles. I think if Rufus and Mr. Grimshaw were to meet, then a life-long bond between musicians would emerge. 

There you have it Raptors, your AMHS teachers, and their Gossip Girl alter-egos. I can only imagine the kind of drama that would go down if our teachers were a part of Manhattan’s elite teens with private drivers and platinum cards. Did I miss any essential characters? Comment down below. 

XOXO Raptors