AMHS Matchmaking: Class of 2024

Despite the seniors’ constant questioning of us about their matches, their senioritis kept them from voting, so they will not be next. True to our word, it’s the juniors finding true love in this issue. Let’s be honest, going into the third quarter of their junior year, they deserve it. 

Like last time, first, we will go over the junior’s response as a whole. May this information help everyone find their own semi-date:

Unsurprisingly for those who have participated in an AP history debate, only 1 junior admitted to being conservative. However, only 3 people said they were liberal, so as a whole, the junior respondents mostly didn’t care about politics. 

Humor was again very important with 27/34 respondents placing it as a top three trait. Practice those jokes, people.

Among the dealbreakers, our most common responses were pretentiousness and bad hygiene but both only got two responses, so all we really learned is that Magnet kids have lots of complaints. 

The particular value juniors place on good hygiene was notable. So, even if you’re in the throes of junior year, pulling all-nighters to keep up your AP classes, continue on, just remember to shower and brush your teeth.

Based on the responses, it seems like the safest discussion topics are music and sports. However, a lot of people also said they liked talking about deep philosophical questions, so it could go either way. 

Likely due to the fact that junior schoolwork and procrastinating junior year school work is a full-time job, the majority of juniors (66%) don’t seem to want to take the time to FaceTime or talk on the phone. They are decidedly texters. There was an upset though, votes for FaceTime and phone calls were equally split between the other 24% of juniors. Maybe the class of  2024 is braver than the rest of us.

Also, note to Ava Smoak- you were in demand, as there are boys out there looking for a “small town girl with a big heart.” And, to Lukey Sutherland, identity fraud is not a victimless crime.

To Ford Martin: Watch your identity more carefully in the future.

To the juniors wondering how to start conversations with their matches, here are our recommendations for conversation starters:

1. Complain about schoolwork

Pros: Pretty much every junior will have a complaint about seminar, as it’s the one class that unites us all. This is a safe conversation starter. There’s not that much to say, but if your match is funny, it could shine through here. If schoolwork is too broad of a topic, you could talk about the homework you haven’t done.

Cons: This has the potential to become a contest on who has the most homework, and people might not want to hear you humble-brag about the 7 APs you choose to take. If you were smart enough to get into those classes, you should have been smart enough to know there would be an abundance of homework. 

2. Complain about how awkward and cringey matchmaking is

Pros: Don’t worry, even we agree that this entire matchmaking thing is very middle school. I mean we’re having fun, but no feelings will be hurt if you bond over our audacity to email you a name and then never speak to you again. Plus, although we love it, at match 20, we start to have some regrets too.

Cons: There really isn’t that much to say. Plus, you run the risk of sounding pretentious. 

3. Talk about the latest edition of Academic Magnet School Newspaper and the #2 school in the nation’s pride and joy, The Talon

Pros: This is hard-cutting journalism, genius words from genius staff members. We’re kidding. Maybe. If one thing is true about The Talon though, it is that we have something for everyone. And no censorship. So instead of no opinions being shared, there might be too many. Plus, by reading and discussing the newspaper, you’ll join some of the greats such as Officer Watson, Ms. Hurt, and our moms.

Cons: There are none. Unless too many people go on the website and it crashes and deprives our poor viewers of content 

Bonus suggestion: Y’all can even take a quiz together and find out what your love language is (insert url https://amhsnewspaper.com/62483/new-issue/build-a-new-life-and-ill-reveal-what-your-love-language-is/) 

Our February date ideas (for friends or true love):

1. Last-minute spirit week shopping

Said with the utmost positive intentions, you juniors might need this date if you want the senior class to stop making fun of your last wall day. 

Positives: You automatically have something to talk about. Plus, you can take photos in the outfits you pick out. Not to mention the fact that you are helping your entire class out.

Negatives: This has the potential to be incredibly tense. Merchandise will be picked over and what if there is only one Kappa Kappa Gamma shirt left? Who will get it? Is it too early to show your new friend the lengths you will go to in order to capture a thrift find?

2. Attend a Home Basketball game

Start making the most of the fact that you can finally drive and go to attend a home basketball game for as long (or as short) as you would like. As a junior, you’re likely no longer tied down to when your parents want to pick you up in order to make it home in time for tonight’s Wheel of Fortune episode. Take full advantage. Cheer as loud as you can and cheer along with the student section in order to have a first date with little forced conversation, cheap entertainment, and a constant distraction. 

Positives: Your friends will likely be there too, so they can come to save you from awkwardness. Plus, if your new friend/date is super boring you can just watch the game.

Negatives: This is a very public outing. It is unlikely your friends will ever let you forget it. Also, if your date is anything like me, you will need to explain the entire game to them.

4. Study date before Starbuck’s runs out of their scrumptious holiday flavors

Even though there’s a pretty good chance as a junior you have premature senioritis, let’s be honest, third quarter junior year requires at least some attempt at studying. This would be a great time to catch up on the 13 seminar assignments you have not turned in.

Positives: Though we would never condone lying to parents, we must admit that a study date is the most likely to win favor. 

Negatives: Sometimes these can turn into all date no study. Also your friend or date might be pretentious about coffee. Come prepared with a coffee order that you are not afraid of being judged on, and never, I repeat never, risk ordering a quirky coffee with a barista friend-sincerely, a former barista.

5. Clean up after Wall day together

Student council is begging you. Please. Stay after with your enemy if you need to. Just don’t get wall day taken away from future years. Us seniors have faced quite a few threats. 

Positives: School Spirit! Empty parking lot! Altruism!

Negatives: High chance of everyone yelling at each other. Plus, sometimes one friend group dominates the entire wall day cleanup.

6. Write to SNO Sites to complain about their underappreciation of The Talon

Positives and Negatives: Just kidding, don’t do this. (But we won’t stop you if you feel convicted.). After all, SNO Sites seems to care about journalistic skills over humor. How boring.

What we don’t recommend: Going out on Valentine’s day

It sounds sweet, we know. But who actually wants to wait in a long line to eat at a subpar restaurant only to have to be back at home in time to complete your seminar homework because it’s a Tuesday? No one who is sane. Save the Valentine’s Day outing for a weekend. But to make sure your date won’t be on edge the whole time, check your date’s calendar and ensure they don’t have a physics test in the next day or two that they’re unprepared for. Not to mention the fact that if you get together after Valentine’s day, you can purchase half-off candy and pretend you bought it in advance. 

Juniors please check your inbox to see your matches.

Our final words:

Juniors, this is your time to shine. Go out there and get yourself a semi-date. Seniors and Sophomores- it’s down to the two of you now. Vote to place your grade at the top of our matchmaking pile!