Class of 2016 : SEND YOUR SENIOR WILL TO  amhstalon@gmail.com

The Talon has chosen to bring back the Magnet tradition of allowing Seniors to write a Last Will and Testament leaving behind whatever physical, mental, or emotional “stuff” they would like, to whomever they wish.  The following are those brave souls who submitted their Wills.  Seniors – you may still submit your will and it will be added.  Just email amhstalon@gmail.com.

I, Zoe Norris, being of kawaii mind and petite body, do hereby leave all the memories and tissue box throwing we had in math to Whitney Su. It’s been almost 6 years going strong since SOA, and it’s only going to get better from here. Good luck being a senior!  I leave my Varsity Cheerleader Co-Captain position to Julia Walpole. You work the girls into shape and keep it sassy 😉 . I also leave the Varsity Dance Team to both Janae Bowman and Phoebe Rudolph. This year didn’t work out as well as past years, but I hope y’all can bring us back. P.S. Next time I see one of y’all, I want to see the “Sommer Walk” from last year’s season, it cracks me up every time. Finally, to my dear Courtney Fox, I am bestowing a gift a previous senior gave to me my freshman year, and that is the ability to make sunshine and rainbows as happy as you. Please keep up your cuteness because it is absolutely adorable!

I, Trey Perry, being of splashberried mind and “trigga’d” body, do hereby leave Nate Schlosser with as many touchdown handoffs as you can handle, an IHOP Splashberry to cool you down after poundin’ a summer workout, and your very own plaque on Mount Olympus, where the peasants will worship you justly. To Josh Issacks, I bestow a football season where you don’t get injured before the season starts or in the first scrimmage, as well as many dog barks on the field to confuse and frighten the other teams and another weird conversation on my Facebook photos with my Aunt about me “having fun”. To Campbell Gerrard and Ethan Linhardt, I bestow as many “Trigga-Trey”-s as you both can handle saying in one class period.  To Ben Cottingham, I bestow one more little secret (wink). To Carter Brzezinski…we cool man. To Potter Siebels, I bestow a completed pass next year as well as my “trigga”, may it bring you luck as the next quarterback. To Jack Heeke, I leave a random fit of laughing at nothing, where everyone wonders, “Is that kid all right?” and a football locker (go inside it and check it out sometime; its real nice in there). And to Thomas Lehman, I bestow to you Kara Schwacke’s Uncle, may you two finally be happy together. Best of luck to you all, and I wish you all great Junior and Senior years. Push on Laddies! You’re almost finished!

I, Selina Pi, not to be mistaken with Selena, or Salina, or Celina, or Serena, or Sleina, or Zoe, or (for the sake of God) Seleni, resident of the princely region of South Carolina, being of fruitful mind and vegetablian body, declare this to be my Last Will and Testament. I do hereby decree that the presidential Pythagorean top hat shall go to Whitney and Xiaolan. I also leave Xiaolan the honor of being the only Xiaolan I have ever met as well as the only person whose name I have seen misspelled in as many ways as mine. To the aforementioned Whitney and Matthew, I bequeath a crêpe taco and a two-week subscription to the édition abonnés of Le Monde. To Carol, I bequeath 2.5 bushels of plushie animals. To the tennis teams, a bottomless stomach for orange slices. To Jenny, Fanny, Kerri, Britney, and Evelyn, 3 stress-free days until graduation: Choose wisely. Everything else that I do not wish to take with me in the afterlife goes to one of the 4,286,411 Michaels born in the U.S.A. in the past 100 years.

I, Madison McDougall being of zealous mind and vivacious body do hereby leave my legacy, my yellow raincoat, my dad’s humor and all my firefighter hats to Ethan Linhart. I leave my old Iphone 5s and my love for Michigan to Jack Barna. To Caroline Black I leave the day March 14 2015, my love for the softball team, and the precious Bryson Rose. To English, I leave Team Eggroll and my moms old 70’s bathing suit. I leave the worker’s number from Chickfila’s to Amanda Parker. To Grace Tumbleston, I leave all my love for high school musical jam out car sessions with you. Rachel Biggs I leave you my love for right field and my glove, make sure you have the best season yet. To Danielle Colbrunn, I leave you all the tears Greys Anatomy has given me. To Amber Thomas, I leave you my regrets for never talking to one junior guy. To Alec Waring, I leave you with all my procrastination and all my Spanish notes. And for everyone else, I leave you with nothing but the anticipation of graduating high school.

I, Ally Bush, being of crispy mind and  comely body, do hereby leave my feminist ideologies,  the yellow shorts, a rope and anchor, and The Strand to my friend-soulmate Elizabeth Johnson, a piece of paper and a half-finished pencil that I found on the floor to my legacy Cameron Bush, a photo of a chicken nugget to Katherine Conley, and lastly a map of CVS, specifically a map of how to get to the hazelnut wafers near the freezers, to Jackson Pogue.

I, Carly Duffy, being of carefree mind and energetic body do hereby leave the Sailing team all the inside jokes and travel adventures. To Sam Cabiness and Chris Chaplin, I leave my position of Captain on the Sailing team and the privilege of being in charge of the pinnies. To Sophie McCallum, I leave my permission to smack Sam and Chris if they are doing any of their “weird stuff”. I leave Owen Duffy the sarcasm and lame jokes of our car rides. To Brent Harwell, I leave all my love. Lastly, I leave Gavin Duffy the confusion of thinking that we are actually siblings/ that you and Owen are twins.

I, Elliot Laro Kronsberg, aged eighteen years, do hereby revoke all former Wills, Codicils and Testamentary Dispositions and I declare this Will to be my last Will and Testament.I am maintaining good health and am of sound mind. This Will is made by me of my own independent decision and free mind and volition and in sound health. I have not been coerced or influenced by any person whatsoever in the execution of this Will. I hereby appoint the following persons as Executors and Trustees of this my Will: Zachary Kronsberg and Dunbar Myrick. It shall be open to them to appoint one or more executors and trustees in their sole discretion. I hereby direct that the said Executors and Trustees shall pay my Income-tax, Wealth-tax, just debts and other liabilities, if any, from out of the property which I may leave after my departure for collegiate study and the balance of my property shall be collected and dealt with in the manner specified hereinabove. Probate duty shall be paid by the legatees proportionately in accordance with the Legacies receival. I hereby bequeath the said items as follows: To Zachary Kronsberg, my younger brother, with whom I have shared many a car ride, I hereby bequeath the Movie Mania Club and all responsibilities and duties connected to control of the Great Khanate of the Movie Mania Club. To whomever it may concern, I leave the Literary Magazine and all responsibilities held by its Editor-in-Chief. Hopefully, you will do a better job than I have. I would like to see a published literary magazine upon my return. To Jameson Sanders, I do hereby bequeath one ream of line paper, wide-ruled as per his request. The ream may be found at any participating office supply store for a very fair price. To Philip Ladd, a distinguished instructor in physics and astronomy, I leave that time we diagrammed the divergent timelines in the Back to the Future Trilogy, and the discovery of the black magic that fixed said timelines. To the 1B French 1 class with Mr. Jent, I leave our memories of Sebastian’s mistakes, Jacques Renault’s non-sequiturs, and the knowledge that you saved me from a year of studying Spanish literature. When Kilbey, Victoria, Daniel, and I leave for college next year, I am sure that you will carry on our legacies. IN WITNESS WHEREOF I, do hereby set and subscribe my hand this 15th day of May 2015

I, Chandler David (Spiderman) Gravely, being of voluptuous mind and acute body, do hereby leave a buttload of stuff. To Jason Goldberg I leave all my coquis, the right to say “Dario vive in Momotombo,” “mas o menos,” and “Desayuno es muerte.” To Will Bridgham and Hayden DiBona I leave the right to bother Ms. Hurt with well needed comments that she secretly loves but says are obnoxious, as well as the right to sit on her deaf side. To Dylan Robinson, I leave the right to interrupt Ms. Hurt’s 4A class. Do it with style and valor. To Ms. Novinger, Ms. Hurt, Mrs. Bortz, Mrs. Woods and essentially every other teacher I’ve had at this school, I leave all my love, appreciation, as well as sadness that I have left. I leave you the ability to know how much you also appreciate and miss me. Ms. Novinger, I also leave you with the sadness that I have because you sold your life size Spiderman statue to someone other than me. To William Pugh and Ariel Dornisch I leave the AMHS Show. Treat her well and keep her alive. To Mary Peyton Brown, I leave my excellent fashion sense and music taste, as well as my passion towards Spiderman which you will probably neglect because of your obsession with 1D. And lastly, to Lawton Burris I leave the ability to run around the school in a skin tight Spiderman suit. Do it often although I will always be your friendly neighborhood Spiderman.

I, Choral Linhart, being of strange mind and unforgettable body, do hereby leave the Varsity girls’ basketball team to Caroline Black, Rachel Biggs and Emily Aysse. Carry on the legacy of Team Teamwork. To English Laserna, I leave behind Team Egg Roll, because Caroline Gibby Black obviously isn’t capable enough yet to have it. And to Ethan Linhart, I leave the Linhart legacy. I know you’ll be a great class President and I am so proud of who you have become over the past couple of years. I love you. 15 or die!

I, Riley Haldrup, being of outstanding mind and outstanding body hereby leave the following. To Jensen I leave the Haldrup legacy– don’t abuse it. To Mary Geer we leave our beloved garden and the Eat Dirt Club (and Instagram of course). To Sarah Hand I leave the strength and patience to make it through another year of dance without the OG seniors. To Madeleine Carens I leave Jensen. To Owen I leave you the privilege of keeping my car cassette/aux cord adapter thing. To Maddie Claire I leave the responsibility of keeping  Mason in line… good luck. I leave Sarah Cate all the the TPMs please keep me updated. I leave Mary Peyton the position of best newspaper writer.

I, Chris Camp, being of stupid mind and stupid body do hereby leave the following. To the entire AMHS boys lacrosse team, I give Chris Shultz a fifth year of eligibility. To my boy Doscher, I leave some well-deserved playing time, a car, and all the success with you-know-who. To Alberg (Ice cube) I give my undying love, a working wrist, and Duke lacrosse tickets. To Nate, I leave presidency of NSHS. To Nathan, I leave the hat you stole. To Mary Kirkland, I leave you free soda whenever  you want. To Campbell and Beckham, I leave leadership of the Children’s Museum. To Emma Hillis, I leave Duke basketball success. To MCP, Laurel, and Emily, I leave the opportunity to eat your own Chick-Fil-A and also free soda. To Felly, I leave 2 boats and a pinecone. To Josh and Reaves I leave each other. To the Magnet community, I leave the finale of the 9-year Camp legacy.

I, Vendi Pavic, being of questionable state of mind and bammin’-slammin’ bootylicious body, do hereby leave: nothing to no one. You’ve got to figure it all out for yourselves. Sorry; life’s rough like that. You’ll thank me someday.

I, Chris Sacha, being of Superfreak mind and Armadillo body, do hereby give, devise, and bequeath the following treasures to my multitudes of admirers.  To the twin of my favorite, I leave the knowledge that you are actually my favorite. Shh, don’t tell your sister.  To The Freshman, I bestow a license to do whatever you want because you’re on your own now.  Good luck out there.  To El Shel, I leave swag.  To the JV volleyball team, I give my love.  You gals always brighten up my day.  To Ms. Novinger’s 2A class, I grant permission to ignore the “do not disturb” sign, no matter the conditions.  To my fellow Galapagos travelers, I leave fields of countless tortoises.  May their underbellies always be concave and their stability be unparalleled.  Finally, to my dear Shananigans, I entrust the care of Francis.  Please watch over him with all the tenderness of a dove in flight.

I, Caroline Elise Schnell, being of sound mind and able body, do hereby leave the title “Schnell” to Erin Schnell, the winning bet to Eric against Mrs. Langley on account of the last prom, procrastination to next year’s AP Art class, lateness to Allyson and the ability to break a window to the ski trip.

I, Daniel Roa, being of a fun mind and Beautiful body, do hereby leave the following: to Sam Kendall of French 1, I leave thee the wonderful Carolyn Prickett, and to Carolyn, I leave thee Sam. To the rest of 1B French 1, I leave you all Jacques Reno’s Baguettes and a loving serenade from Stromae and Eric Vincent. To Katie Hulsey, Olivia Kinsinger, Lexi Dehart, and Mark Militzer, I give you all a NIB! Also, Lexi, feel free to marry the NIB (also known as Mark). To the rest of the school, I leave you this philosophy. Be yourself. Please don’t be afraid to be who you are. You are Beautiful the way you are. You is kind, you is smart, you is important.

I, Adelaide Basco, being of sarcastic mind and toned body, do hereby leave the following: The Art Club to John Pavlides: the legacy lies with you. Revive it, you soul singer babe. My fashion police unofficial position to Garret Kelly and Anna Smirnova. The most fly of freshmen. That gold coin that I hid in one of the lockers to whoever can find it. Good luck, and may the odds be ever in your favor. The responsibility of anonymously distributing Valentine’s Day Cards to the new Valentine Fairy. It was a wonderful run, and I really enjoyed seeing the smiles on everyone’s faces.

I, Scott Varn, being of sound mind and able body, do hereby leave the following: to Brett Lavelle I leave the duty of drawing the Sad Frenchman on Dr. Altman’s board every day. May you carry this torch with honor, and, when the time comes, find another to carry out this duty once you too are gone. To my grandson, Mac Lehman, I leave a one pound bag full of nickels, in the hopes that he uses them to buy many pops down at the corner store. Farewell my friends!

I, Evan Camp, being of minimal mind and even more minimal body, do hereby leave the following: my boat shoes to Tony Reda, #nomorechacotan. To Maddie Steen, nothing but my undying affection because she already has everything. To Emily McGee, the U.S. Government will use tax dollars for you to take AP Music Theory, I suggest you take the class. To Ms. Pinckney, all of my student debt from temporary IDs. To Danny Cunningham, I leave my jumping abilities; it may not be much but God knows you need them. To Ian Grimshaw, the small speck of the thought that I might be a vegan someday MUST remain at this school in good hands. I regret I can’t take it with me. To all the future generations at Magnet, have no fear.

I, Ella Berger, being of caffeinated mind and tardy body, do hereby leave the following to the AMHS community…To Coleman Kiester, I leave a lifetime supply of frazzle bagels in hopes that everyday will be a bagel day in order to satisfy all your hungers.  To Penelope Summerall, I leave an endless supply of unsalted butter.  To Dashiell Jay, I leave the Red Hot Chili Peppers book that I never gave you and my favorite pair of yoga pants. Finally, to the perfect Sara Reineke, I leave a year’s supply of pike places so you can minimize the a mount of “TDM’s” you will surely have and undoubtedly encounter in enduring the treacherous next year of ballet without me by your side.

I, Samantha Kramer, being of punny mind and petite body, do hereby leave the Oxford comma, the mysteries of Harry’s tattoos, some more puns, the entire newspaper plus the badly designed newspapers on the SNO site, and “artifacts” from the old campus to Mary Peyton Brown. To Mackenzie Jenkins I leave you with the joy of Hamilton, an expensive rock, and an incognito camouflage teepee tent. To Mackie McLernon, I leave you with my innocent mind. For Erica Hoskins, I leave you with a Clemson acceptance. Aidan Gomez, I leave you with a “hi” in the hallway and best wishes for next year. To Aidan Gomez again and Lauren Hawes, I give you hours at Chick-fil-a and my Monday after school shifts. And to all the juniors, I leave you with good grades on thesis presentations.

I, C. Mason Proctor, of wandering mind, and occasional body, leave in my last will and testament the following: I leave Nate (Dynamite) Schlosser leadership of morning group showers and football responsibilities. I leave Thomas Lehman the offensive line and the ability to talk trash without sounding like Charlie Brown’s parents. I leave Andrew (Icecube) Alberg an additional gift of Lindsey Clark and Coach Camp. I leave Andrew, Thomas, and Nate recruiting responsibilities and the job of getting fan attendance through whatever means necessary (use the intercom, say Mason sent you). I leave Darius Nwokike muscles and lots of tackles and a pick 6. Jackson Howe and Chase Michaelson… Block. Conrad or Cramer, get swole and add more bodies to your count. To Nathan Won, I leave you the role of driving Andrew Alberg everywhere. I leave Mary Peyton the responsibility of fashion policeman and social media expert. I leave Carter (flounder) Shubert pizza. I leave Chris Moss a GPS. I leave Maddie Claire Proctor the ability to say what it do. I leave Jensen Haldrup and MCP BEV reporting opportunities if they choose to accept their missions. I leave helmets and bubble wrap to everyone who will be attending the Charleston Alpine Ski Club trip this year. I leave the Beach Volleyball Club to Alberg, Schlosser, Isaacks, and Won. I leave Bob Hughes restrained power (stay thirsty). I have already left 2 of my favorite and most prized possessions, football leadership and the O-Line; now my last gift is my humble creation and most prized AMHS work, I leave to Nathaniel Leroy the Bird’s Eye View and all the great duties that come along with controlling the press (tread carefully). BEV is king.

I, Andy Turner, of great mind and even greater body hereby leave the following. To Owen I leave hours of watching Casey Neistat vlogs during class. To Connor Coleman and Adam Ziff I leave the title of “Honorary Bench Captain.” To Declan I leave my 1A programming MineCraft inventory. To Capers I leave the new Felly mixtape. To Sarah Cate I leave the family legacy. To Jensen I leave everything else.

I, Buckley McCall, of infantile mind and mesomorphic body hereby endow all of my dominant personality traits and characteristics to Young Buck. The rest of my belongings will from this point on be divvied up among those who somewhat matter to me. So, in order of importance, those who inherit my things include. Mary Geer Kirkland will be receiving unlimited car rides to school, the ability to introduce herself simply as Mary, the compliment that she is a special girl from my father, the adventures that Margaret Gibson and I have shared, as well as anything else that she so desires. The soccer team will be inheriting the following: Dylan Robinson gets my insane ability to shoot and score, Zach Lanning gets my supply of twinkies, my physics notes, and my magic wand, Daniel Lowell gets Garrett Smith, while Garrett gets to be got by Daniel. In continuation, Kyle McGue gets my headbands to control his flowing mane, Will Bridgham gets my pecs, Evan Dockery gets my social aptitude as soon as he looks up the word “aptitude”, and the combination of Cooper and Capers jointly receive my gift of wordplay and sly word insertion tactics. The freshman and João no longer have to shag balls and carry ball bags, at coach’s discretion. Emma Hillis will receive my ability to drive stick shift, a limited supply of stress balls that will eventually run out, a credit card specifically dedicated to Umi, and the ability to enunciate the words “baby” and “Illinois”. The combination of Emma Hillis and Ryan Pace will get unlimited bojangles. I leave my freckles to Reaves Wannamaker along with any connections to Quinn Laudenslager that are associated to my name. Which bring me to what I leave to Quinn, Quinn gets a faux possession of my cats Minou and Tiger, the knowledge of my hidden wine cellar, and possession of the copyright that I got for the nickname “Q”. To Maddy Carens, I leave some quality pjs, while the rest of the girls soccer team will be getting Capers Borders. To the rest of the school, I bequeath the knowledge that I have hidden a series of clues around the school leading to the notes that I took in AP Government/Economics.

I, Helena Guo, being of pointless mind and aromatic body, do hereby leave Kerri Wong my derp that has developed over the years (not that you need it), endless visits to Tapio, and some of my weeabooness.  To Britney Tsui I leave the elephant pillow pet named Arnold Friend and guardianship of Francis the ficus (make sure you dust his leaves). To Evelyn Bi and Joshua Lin I leave you with my awkward waves and my fear of feet. To McKelvey Smith I leave the childish comebacks I came up with during art class and also the occasional (okay, maybe not occasional) lunch table visits.  To David Li I leave my weird interest in your scent/cologne/deodorant/whatever and the occasional eye contact and head-nod in the hallway “nee-san!”  And to Lexi DeHart and Katie Hulsey I leave the nib (Mark Militzer).

I Eleni Gaspar being of abnormal mind and spunky body do hereby leave, my parking spot to Anne Rodgers so you may have double the space to park and DD iced coffee. For the darling other twin, Emma Rodgers, I leave the bunny slope and a comfy bed in the ski lodge and a homerun on the softball field. To a perfect sassy human being, I leave to Emily (Emjo) Jordan, a tiara and a fake birthday so you may always enjoy green tea ice cream as well as infinite amounts of love. To an affable Brazilian fellow, I leave João daCosta the front seat of bus 513 and the Brickyard pathway so you may always enjoy walking your huskies. For the gentle and enchanted Jensen Haldrup, I leave for you the rest of my stickers so that you will never fail again and a back seat in physics class for where we really belonged. I leave to the happy-go-lucky Maddie Claire Proctor laughter, happiness and the circle drill. I leave to the cultured Mary Geer Kirkland (MGK) Greek powers and all the abilities to Greek dance and be 100% Greek. To the infamous Earl Navarro, I leave Athena so you will always have a buddy to ride with you to LTP as well as fam because you can’t survive without fam. For Coleman Kiester, I leave a microphone and a bucket of sass so that you will always have the floor in physics. For Daniel Ethredge I leave you one guy and one girl and a bigger rear view mirror in your car. I leave the charming Dede Cheng your grandmother’s cane and a working catapult. For the fiery Aaron Thornton, I leave my number, but only if I am number one on your list, as well as some driving lessons. For the determined and slightly broken Josh Isaacks, I leave Mrs. Lankford, the 4B AP Lit class and an endless supply of Greek food. For Coco Kelly I leave you the infamous Earl Navarro. For Owen Navarro, I leave you a perfect score on the SAT, an endless amount of Tahiti Tree, Son of a Sailor and never ending patronizing. 1-5 or die.

I, Lilly Schweickhardt, being of hysterical mind and athletic body, do hereby leave the Varsity Girls’ Basketball Team to Caroline, Rachel, and Emily.  “Do your job” and win a championship!  To Caroline again, I give you car rides to underclassmen and my parking spot close to the gym.  To the softball team I give the art of bunting.  May someone get a bunt homerun next year.  And finally, to every underclassman, I give you fun and successful years at AMHS.

I, Zach Bodek, being of dyslexic mind and body, do hereby leave to Misha Pekar, the captaincy of the wrestling team. Thank you for always being there for the team. To Thomas Lehman, a watch so you can show up to practice on time. To Dede, push-ups. To Bob Hughes, my mini baseball bat, since I never expect you to return it anyway. To Sam Cabiness, my hunchback. To Coleman Kiester, some body fat. To Creed Branham, the position as the wrestling team’s new Jackie D. To Lee Davis, a conscience. To Eli Roberts, the Bearjew nickname and a pair of socks so you can stop mooching off everyone on the team. To Campbell Long, normal people socks. To States Beall, a working scale so you can finally make weight. To John Michael, nothing until you pay me back for the subs I bought you. To Addison Haly, also nothing, because anyone who owns a BMW is high school is rich enough. To Jackson Lansink, because he requested to be in my senior will, a photoshoot with Paul Whitacker. Finally, to Sashank Sakamuri, I leave my Economics textbook for when you inevitably have to come back next year to retake the class.

I. Margaret Gibson, being of floral appreciative mind and eco friendly body, do hereby leave the following: To Emma Hillis and Quinn Laudenslaugher I leave you REACH; may you both find your own Katora and your own fabulous underclassman to scream Taylor Swift to on that four minute car ride. To Sarah Hand, the ability to handle one more year of company by your lonesome, my spot at the bar, and my milk maid costume. To Penelope Summerall, I leave a phone charger and an endless amount of Kudu and St. Alban’s coffee. To Jenry Haldrup, I leave you a new person for Saeby to aggressively sniff and who also eats all of the gummy bears in your kitchen. To Owen Navarro, I leave the continued legacy of moding and rooftop cookouts and to MCP, Laurel, and Emjo, the ability to know all of the words to Trap Queen like the kids at Dunston. To Maddy Carens, Maegan Reed, and the rest of the girls soccer team, I leave you with the hopes of finding an ever dedicated fan who revels in the success of your greatness as I did because you guys rock :’-). Finally, to my gf, adventure companion, and favorite HSM fan: I (and my lovely co-president Riley Haldrup) do hereby leave the joys and splendor of the Eat Dirt Garden to Mary Geer Kirkland, may you treat each plant with care and take bountiful weird pictures to post on the instagram.

I, Nancey Fang, of fancey mind and prancey body do here by leave Kerri Wong my nonexistent League of Legends skills and AxC fanfics, Britney Tsui my photoshop skills, Xiaolan You all of the biscuits from calculus class and our one duoq experience, Michael Pi my collection of high knee socks, Janae Bowman all the salt from the ocean, Daniel Lowell a perfect waifu, Ali DeLambo art supplies so you can make more beautiful art, and Whitney Su all nighters trying to meet thesis deadlines.

I, Marin Miller, being of crooked body and twisted mind hereby leave Mr. Johnston 10,000 pounds of love. To Allyson Peurifoy I leave mine and Kallie’s legacy, Sparky poop, my neck, my back, the center midfield, and a lonesome year without me. To Lauren Baldo I leave you in charge of all carpool endeavors and Luke Bryan’s beautiful voice. Maddy Carens I leave you the right to talk to any referees in my absence; put your sass to good use. Meagan and Maryanna I leave any coffee cups that I left in your car. Hannah Frankel, I leave you the position as Lauren’s official Fall carpool partner. I leave Andrew Jackson’s hand in marriage to Alexis Polcyn. To Abby Tickle I leave infinite small cups to keep you hydrated. Taylor Oppold I leave you in charge of Abby Tickle. Erin Schnell I leave you Hannah Frankel because I’m the reason ya’ll are friends. Nate Schlosser I leave you my number and limitless dates. Bob Hughes I leave you Lance’s memory and Fatty Patty. To Mr. Stackhouse I leave you my entitlement, my Mt. Pleasant address, my “whininess,” and my “temperament.” To Clifton I leave lots of five-hour energy. To Maddie Claire I leave what’s left of my sanity, and since that’s so minimal I also leave Cody Mavericks courage to help you get through senior year. I leave Jakob Cumins the Class of 2017, or at least the rest of them, an extra large sock, and the key from my blown out tire. I leave Maddox Johnston plenty of motor oil to grease his robot joints. To AMHS I leave my whistles, spirit week costumes, and a culture that can’t be found anywhere else.

I, Sara Pilling, being of sane mind and tired body, do hereby leave the following: to the Varsity Volleyball team I leave all of the broken CD’s in the aux room. To Maryanna Reed I leave my bangerz CD. To Maegan Reed I leave my physics balloon car. To Emma Rodgers I leave bruised knees from volleyball and a Nerds Slushie from Sonic. To Anne Rodgers I leave our team cheer. To Bridget Tunney I leave the advice to always “stay in yo home”. To Emma Hillis I leave my asteroids game and my Boe-bot. To Carly Hall I leave a lifetime supply of Chick-fil-a milkshakes. To Emma Crowfoot I leave my physics notebook and a Trek triathlon bike. To Emily Aysse I leave an industrial-strength knee brace. To Keb Mosley-Kellum, I leave my violin. To Miranda Schwacke I leave the Danny Jones track and the 100 meter dash.

I, Jasmine Rebecca Hubara, of spontaneous mind and ethereal body, do hereby leave Elayna Gleaton (the only person strong enough to endure our best-friendship since the seventh grade) enough money to buy Starbucks on our Thanksgiving anniversary to last a lifetime, as well as the white squirrel that lives in your attic (even though it’s already yours), dog treats for your dogs, gluten-free cookies in my dorm room, and a recording of my voice telling you that life gets better after thesis. Listen to it every day. To Anna Book, I leave enough bleach to remove the stains your blue hair left in my bathroom, all the remaining polar bears in the world, and Advil for dealing with all the middle school kids. To Nate LeRoy, Hype King: I leave IG, a bottle of Green Machine Naked Juice, lottery tickets, and my spot at the dinner table. To Harrison Kerr, I leave a lifetime supply of computers you can play with during Chinese class, and the Viking hat. In return, can I have the second semester video? To Matthew Leadem, I leave the plastic pig, bamboo hats that signify our friendship, tickets to a Yelle concert, an umbrella in case you get caught in the rain making another Chinese class video, endless amounts of Chinese character paper so you can practice your horrible characters, MBTI tests, shoe cleaner, Her Majesty the Voice Massage Queen, and the hope that you’ll find a better Chinese partner than me. I don’t think I’ll find one better than you.

I, Colleen Christensen, of active mind and busy body, hereby leave long talks about nothing important in the parking lot and infinite hugs to Maddie Claire Proctor. I leave the position of senior class president to Peter Sterckx (also known as the tamber-queen), confident in his leadership abilities. I leave my beloved Dirty Birds to Tony Reda and GypzyCarrigg and trust that you will not lead our flock astray (record an album next year!). I leave excited talks about Cassidy’s love life to Katie Hulsey, along with the occasional glance in physics that completely communicates our mutual frustration. To Maddie Steen, I leave all of the blessings and life changing experiences that Distinguished Young Women will bring in the next year. I leave an egg sandwich to Josh Alvarado. I leave long church services with unpredictable music performances to Carly Hall. To Clifton McDonald, I leave a “Sup Clifton?!” and an extra bagel day. To Andrea Langley, I leave a light bulb and some coca leaves. I leave inside jokes that no one else picks up on to Sam Cabiness. I leave an affectionate “Hey Gibby” to Caroline Black. I leave a spoken “tortoise” in Alex’s accent to the entire clan of Ecuadorian travelers. Additionally, I leave 20 empanadas for Carter Brzezinski (or $20, you pick). I leave a miniature poncho to Nick DeHart because he looks too cute wearing it, even though he doesn’t go here (I do what I want). To Mack Lehman, I leave strange looks and complete judgment during lunch. To Liam Christensen, I leave lonely car rides, endless procrastination, and a baby seal (arfarf). And to Matthew Martin, I leave all of the confidence in the world that 2016 will be the most successful year student council has seen in a long time.

I, Kyle McRae, being of infatuated mind and devoted body, do hereby leave the following:  My life, and my love to the magnificent and beautiful Sara Reineke.

I, Simeon Hallman, being of captivated mind and dedicated body, do hereby leave the following:  My lie and unrelenting love to the incredible and beautiful Sara Reineke.

I, James Yon, being of hopeful mind and loving body, do hereby leave the following: To Robert Hughes, I leave the memory of our dear friend Lance. To Beckham Watkins, I leave my mixtape that will drop in 2016 and my stairs. To Erin Schnell, I leave my heart. To Zachary O’Neill, I leave the tradition of “death-sack” at lunch. To Thomas Dorfner, I leave my heart as well. To Andrew Ahlberg and Nate Schlosser, I leave my cell phone number. Call me?) To Connor Woods, Reaves Wannamaker Zach Zuber, Kyle Davis, William Pitts, B-Cott, Josh Issacks, and Coleman Kiester, I leave the spirit stick! To Cren Redden, I leave my special edition never before used GI-Joe and Ghostbuster DVDs. To Maddox Johnston, I leave my battery pack in case you start to short-circuit. To Jakob Cummins, I leave the treasure I buried under the courtyard.

I, Gwyneth Bradley, of big mind and small body, do hereby leave the following: To Bridget Tunney, I leave a bucket of ice cubes, the captainship of the most attractive team at Magnet, and Bishop England’s placement in their rightful division (good riddance). To Blake Bernard, I leave pairs of volleyballs to put under shirts and a Brazilian soccer player. To Anne and Emma Rodgers, I leave all of my love, as well as a pair of leather whips. To Josh Isaacks, I leave all the bagels in the world. To Henry Lesesne, I leave a lot of bushes and a couple of dimes. To Hannah Obenaus, I leave never-ending kisses. To Dillan Drymon, I leave the key to my heart. To Maya Haley and Lexi Dehart, I leave the devil’s lettuce. To Ben Redden, I leave the 2012-sibling legacy and the best hugs in the world. To Ryan Pace, I leave my weekly clothing rotation. To Meredith Coen, I leave the sneaker wedges. To Semaj Fielding, I leave our imaginary victory in the freshman derby. To Jakob Cumins and Maddox Johnston, I leave a whirly gig, some clickers, a dictionary, and all of my synergy. To the Magnet Community, I leave the 9 year Bradley legacy.