Alright I assume you’re here for some hard hitting news. Well, look no further because let me tell you this stuff is gold. Like myself, you may sometimes find yourself sitting in class listening (or not) to your teacher wondering to yourself, does this person know anything else except for the symbols in the Great Gatsby or the laws of physics or **insert a random piece of knowledge that they try to convince us will be useful in the real world here**? You may be surprised to know that our faculty and staff had a life before and have a life outside of teaching at Magnet and from it even picked up a few things that could help us out too. Crazy right. I know. To test this theory I went around the school and asked a l m o s t every member of the faculty and staff what the best piece of advice they have every received is and wrote them in this article in hopes that all who come to The Talon to read it will leave a little wiser than before. The most sage pieces of advice (and some comments from yours truly) the Magnet faculty has to offer are as follows:

Administration

Ms. Pinckney: “I don’t know.”

Not surprised. Classic response. A little disappointed that she did not care about me enough to give me a better answer.

Ms. Vogel: “Put your hands on the wheel and don’t look in the rearview mirror.”

Coach Williams: “Do your best no matter what. You can accomplish anything if you try.”

Mr. Cosgrove: “(When I was a wee lad in Ireland my mother said to me): one day at a time Dáithí [which is David in Gaelic].”

**That’s not actually true his mother was just Irish he was not a boy in Ireland but it adds to the effect (only if you read it in an Irish accent)**

Ms. Spencer: “Don’t tip-toe, leave footprints in the sand.”

Officer Snipes: “Think for yourself and not what others believe.”

Ms. Do: “Get 8 hours of sleep.” She admitted that she does not follow her own advice.

Ms. Dover: “Dreams remain dreams until you take action.”

Guidance 

Ms. Krupilis: “To not be afraid to be unapologetically authentic to who you are.”

Ms. Taylor: “Kindness should be what you strive for.”

Ms. James: “When you fail to plan, you plan to fail.”

Math 

Ms. Renes: “God [or whichever higher power you believe in or the universe] gave you a brain for a reason, God [or whichever higher power you believe in or the universe] expects you to use it.”

Mr. Percy: “When nothing goes right, go left.”

You can also visit Mr. Percy’s room to view his impressive collection of cheesy advice posters which include but are not limited to: “Some days you’re the pigeon, some days you’re the statue.” and “You miss 100% of the shots you never take.”

Ms. Yackey: “Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.”

Ms. Liang: “Make a little progress everyday.”

Dr. Cassidy: “ALWAYS HAVE A PLAN B.”

Ms. Hofstetter: “Sometimes you win, sometimes you learn.”

Mr. Johnston: “Always have a roll of duct tape.”

Science

Mr. McCormick: “Don’t eat the yellow snow.”

Katy Metzner-Roop: “Everything will be okay.”

Mr. McGill: “Take the good with the bad, roll with the punches, and keep on pushin!”

Ms. Langley: “Life isn’t fair.”

Ms. Desbrow: “Be yourself.”

Foreign Language

Dr. Altman: “Do not wish your life away. All the fun stuff is in the moment.”

Ms. Colon: “They can never take away your education.”

For more sage advice from Señora Colon, here is an an article from 2015 which details her top tier advice about life, health, and beauty.

Colón’s Consejos

Dr. Lupo: “Don’t sweat the small stuff. Almost everything is small stuff.”

Mr. Grimshaw: “When you’re facing something that’s an extreme challenge, just slow down and breathe.”

Ms. Calabrese: “Stay true to yourself.”

Ms. Oliveira: “Don’t worry so much about the answers about who you will be if you stay true to yourself, the answers will come to you at the right time.”

Mr. Jent: Declined to comment

History

Ms. Zerbst: “Sleep on every decision.”

Mr. Garris: “Do not go where the path may lead, forge your own path and blaze a trail.”

Ms. Orr: “Get your masters in teaching and buy your house during the recession.”

Mr. Rush: “It’s a dog eat dog world out there don’t get caught wearing milk bone underwear.”

Refer to season 4, episode 18 of Cheers.

Mr. Stackhouse: “Don’t count on anyone else’s money.”

Mr. Murphy: “Don’t marry because you want to live with them, get married because you can’t live without them.”

He said his father told him that and I asked if he took the advice and he said yes. Awwwww

Ms. E: “You can’t give what you don’t have.”

English

Ms. Hurt: “People do what they want to do.”

Ms. Smith: “(Once you) make a decision, move forward, don’t constantly second guess yourself.”

Ms. Benton: “Pray.”

Or meditate or manifest (which I prefer and recommend) or align your chakras. Whatever floats your boat.

Ms. Lankford: “Marriage like life is seasonal. You will have winters but spring is always coming.”

Most of us here at the school are not married per se but this quote can apply to almost everything that you are going through. Life is a rollercoaster. A light at the end of the tunnel. Ups and downs. Peaks and valleys. Good and bad. Successes and failures. Winters and springs. The list goes on. Pick whichever idiom you like but the point is that if things are bad something better is around the corner. It’s cliche because it’s true.

Ms. Shifflette: “When in doubt, don’t.”

I decided to put Ms. Grayson’s whole answer in because she emailed it to me and I thought it was really sweet and applicable to us high schoolers.

Ms. Grayson: “My mom gave me this advice when I was stressing about the SATs in high school. I kept bombing practice test after practice test, and I was getting really upset at myself. She told me to stop taking the practice tests if it was going to make me so upset, and just to trust in myself that I would do as well as I needed to on the day of the exam. She was right. I ended up getting a score that was good enough for the school I wanted to go to (St. Olaf of course!) and the rest is history. Moms give the best advice :)”

Ms. Novinger: Didn’t answer my email.

Ms. Akery: “No one is thinking about you.”

Computer Science/Engineering 

Mr. Schmitt: “Life is so short and it’s nuts not to be as happy as you can be.” 🙂

Mr. Phillips: “There are certain things that you don’t do well, so don’t try, you’re not doing anybody any favors.”

In essence, know your limits. Don’t waste your time and focus on the things you’re good at and you’ll be happier.

Ms. Aydlette: “Do unto others what you would have done to you.” Classic golden rule. also “Don’t be a [jerk].” Very important.

Thank you for tuning in. I hope you learned a thing or two or found inspiration from our wise faculty. Of course, I included below some parting pieces of advice as well.

“Don’t count the days, make the days count.”

“Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It’s not.” -Dr. Suess