What’s up, Raptor Nation? As our school year comes to an abrupt close, we find ourselves looking back on the four years that we spent here. Like many, we feel a bit left out having never seen a fist fight at the school. For your sake and for ours, we have created a bracket to put our beloved teachers to the test to see who would win the ultimate fist fight. Our judgements are based on a few factors: cunning, spunk, attack mentality, athleticism demonstrated in the classroom, and our own intuition. Our word is law. Angry emails will not be tolerated because you can’t argue with facts. Without further ado, the following is our bracket:

Honorable Mention: Dr. Cassidy

Unfortunately, Dr. Cassidy was knocked out in the first round, suffering at the hands of an unlucky draw. While we have no doubt that she would have landed some hits along with the best of them, she was matched with Ms. Orr, whose prior life experience made her pull ahead.

The Quarterfinals

The battles in the quarterfinals created a round of brutal eliminations, with Mr. McCormick, Ms. Desbrow, Ms. Orr, and Mrs. Roop getting knocked out of the competition. These fighters demonstrated a high level of tact and fearlessness in their respective matches, though they fell just short of coming out on the winning side.

4th Place: Mr. Schmidt

With two clutch wins against notable competitors Mr. Rush and Mrs. Benton, Mr. Schmidt advanced to the semifinals. His brain power–a product of his skill in the tech department–combined with physical strength enabled him to excel in the bracket.

3rd Place: Sra. Colon

Though not displayed in the bracket, Sra. Colon ultimately took down Mr. Schmidt in the playoffs for the bronze. Her spicy personality and quick thinking, as well as her fast reflexes that she acquired during her time in the Bronx, gave her the upper hand in this one-on-one showdown.

2nd Place: Sra. Calabrese

Sra. Calabrese delivered a few fatal beatdowns before meeting her maker in the form of Mrs. Yackey. Her athleticism, wit, and sheer power apparent both in and outside the classroom allowed her to knock out the competition.

1st Place: Mrs. Yackey

It is no question that Mrs. Yackey deserves her spot as the ultimate fighter. This woman was made to fight. She’s strong and quick on her feet. Her bubbly personality allows us to believe that she has some healthy pent up aggression that makes its appearance in her athletics and, therefore, her fighting. She undoubtedly delivered some deadly uppercuts and maybe even brought some hair pulling into play.