At Ms. Hurt’s request, I am making an article comparing the AMHS and SOA lost and founds. It should be noted that the aforementioned lost and founds were emptied and given away on Friday, December 13. Regardless, this article is happening. So buckle your seatbelts because there was some weird crap in there.

AMHS

First of all, I know how important hydration is but this is ridiculous. I counted at least 15 water bottles there So rip to those 15+ students who are dying from dehydration as we speak. There were also so many jackets and sweatshirts without homes 🙁 Some of them looked pretty nice too. I’m not gonna lie. There were even a couple of shirts there…so either someone had to leave gym wearing their PE shirt or we have some students walking around campus half naked. If you find yourself failing AP Spanish or Physics I can tell you why. Your textbook is lost, but worry not I found it. The bad news is that at this point I have no clue where it is…because you didn’t come and get it before Friday. So I guess the jokes on your grade? If you find yourself walking down the halls at school thinking why can’t I see anything right now? It’s because your glasses WERE in the lost and found. Sorry to say that at this point they are probably at a Goodwill somewhere. To the parents of AMHS students. If you are wondering where the lunchbox you spent your valuable money on went and why your kid is starving when they get home from school. Yeah…it’s because they lost it and never thought to check the lost and found. Don’t worry about telling them to look tomorrow because she is gone now and your child is going to have to start carrying their lunch in their pockets. Unless…they lose their pants. Also there is a lost Danny Devito, if you have any information please call the number at the bottom of your screen. 

SOA

I have nothing against SOA, but their lost and found was really wilding. First of all, there was zero organization. There was also a book bag in there.

Like…how do you not realize your bag is missing? There was also so much more stuff. It was actually overflowing. There was a box filled to the brim with water bottles and another with maybe 4 pairs of underwear. Let me say it again because I worry that I put too little emphasis on it. There were MULTIPLE PAIRS OF UNDERWEAR in there.

There were also a few OPEN sanitary pads in there. Why did those go to lost and found? Why not just the garbage. I know that sometimes logic can elude us but…I…no words. For the SOA student missing a progress report. Found it. Although, if you were just trying to avoid showing it to your parents, I applaud your efforts. Possibly saddest of all, there was a pretty sick hand painted book there that I would probably be trying harder to find. Similar to AMHS, there were several shirts, a multitude of jackets/sweatshirts, and an insane amount of lunch boxes. There was also a pretty cool clear rain jacket that I, honestly, thought about taking…but I didn’t. I swear.

There is a lesson to be learned here. If you find that you have lost something…maybe check the lost and found. There is, shockingly, a chance that it will be there. To the person who lost their book bag, sorry dude. But for real, how? And finally, if you find lost underwear…burn them. No questions asked.