Inside the AMHS Bathrooms: Are Work Orders A Fictional Concept Created by the Bourgeoisie?
I mean, are they?
Since I left you high and dry several weeks ago. During the hiatus in my series, there have been several updates in the bathrooms in the greater AMHS area (by which I mean the areas of Building 7 and 8). My main story today will be the alleged work orders that allegedly exist for the repair of the stall doors. But before that, let’s get into 4 areas of interest currently in the realm of our beloved bathrooms.
#1 Fixed Stalls
I have been informed that the boys’ bathroom stall door has been fixed. Good for them! On the girls’ side, however, we have one stall fixed, but in exchange, the bathroom Gods have taken another from us. The precious guitar hall bathrooms could not be spared from the wrath of the vengeful bathroom spirits whose goal is to maintain optimal levels of disorder, an equilibrium of working and nonworking parts. I am sad to report that the third stall in the guitar hall is unusable due to the way the new toilet paper dispenser was installed, blocking the door. Tragic. The last unaffected bathroom has fallen.
#2 The situation with the bagged toilet in the boys’ room
According to a male informant, one toilet in the downstairs bathroom has had a plastic bag over it for some time, apparently indicating that it is out of order. This would hardly be concerning or newsworthy (granted, one could argue that none of this is newsworthy) if it weren’t for a special garnish left on top of the bag. Without getting too graphic, I’ll disclose that there is a fecally stained piece of toilet paper resting peacefully atop it, and since the toilet is unworking, this means that someone made the effort to bring that specimen from another stall to its current station. disgustang.
#3 A profile of the first-floor girls bathroom
Of all of the creepy places in this school, the first-floor girl’s room ranks second, falling only behind Ms. Roop’s supply closet. There’s a sizable crack running down the center of the floor with mysterious origins (I mean seriously, HOW did that happen?? Earthquake? Anvil drop site?) and the humidity. Walking in there is reminiscent of entering a poorly performing gym sauna. At the very least, this unusual temperature can reassure us that it’s not haunted, as some have speculated. Everyone knows, after all, that ghost presences are correlated to an unsettling chill, which is absent in every way. Finally, the smell is quite unsatisfying to the nasal cavities. QUITE unsavory when combined with the humidity. These issues can be for the most part combatted though, which is why I have taken it upon myself to find a solution to the smell at the very least. Today I am announcing that I vow to find a suitable fragrance device for this bathroom. Please let me know you have a scent preference.
#4 Wet toilet paper – mystery solved?
Rumor has it, the wet toilet paper in the second stall of the first-floor girl’s bathrooms is the result of human mischief, rather than, as I initially speculated, some ventilation fluid or mischievious toilet elf. I received intel that sophomore girls amuse themselves these days by wetting toilet paper and stuffing it into the dispenser. Shame on you, Class of 2022. In my day, we just wrote on the stalls and flooded the sinks.
Finally, we come to our main story, which is, of course, the reason this series was started: broken stall doors. In the first installment, I promised you that the stalls would be promptly fixed, as I had been told that a work order would be made for them. However, it would appear that whoever carried out said work order thought it adequate to fix one stall per gender, as that is the total sum of stalls that have been repaired. I thought I would further investigate the process of how work orders are carried out in CCSD, and thankfully, online I was able to easily find a four-page PDF outlining procedures for the creation and execution of work orders. This document was so thorough that it even included descriptions of the four tiers of priority of work orders [side bar: its interesting to note that profane graffiti on the front of the school is in the Priority 1 tier, on the same level as a building fires or floods, whereas profane graffiti on the side or back of the school is only Priority 2]. All of this information could have been useful, had it been the right CCSD. These procedures were in fact, that of Clark County School District, not Charleston County School District. You win again, Clark County. So I specified my search to the correct district and continued looking. It would appear that no such document would exist for our beloved county, and instead, there are two sentences on their website basically informing me that I need a higher security clearance (which they refer to as an “employee log-in”) for access to more. It’s on a need to know basis and I suppose I don’t have a need to know. I have included the link to the Maitenance web page in case you want to see it for yourself.
https://www.ccsdschools.com/Page/1487
Fear not Raptors, I promise to get to the bottom of these HIGHLY pressing issues, and as always, report back to you.