Introducing the Class of 2023

Bailey and Katherine went thundering into Mr. Flanigan’s room to select the first victims. After a quick scan of the perimeter, we noticed a certain spark in the eyes of four particular freshman: Dakota, Emma, Shane, and Irene. We plucked them from the comforts of their desks and escorted the nervous herd to an isolated bench in the hallway where we were able to effectively interrogate them without any disruptions. First, we hit them with some softballs. We asked the group about their

expectations of magnet and of the coming school year. Shane immediately piped up and shared his relief upon entering magnet, telling us how he thought it “was going to be extremely hard, like hardcore”, but was happily

surprised. So naive. Just wait till junior year buddy. Next, we decided to dig a little deeper. We asked the freshmen what teacher scared them the most. Shane revealed one of his more shocking first impressions when he replied, “I would probably say Mr. McCormick because he makes fun of me because I messed up the sticker on my focus folder”– a rookie mistake. However, Irene firmly disagreed and claimed to “like Mr. McCormick because he’s, like, funny”. We could cut the tension with a knife. To lighten the mood, we lobbed them a question: If you could live in any decade before the 1900s, which one would it be and why? Before they could even open their mouths to respond, loud footsteps began to approach. It was Kedar. As he came near, Katherine reached out her hand in anticipation of their signature handshake. But alas, twas not Kedar. It was merely his clone, Vishwa.  Vishwa strutted over to interject and confidently stated that he would choose “the 1770’s because then I would be alive during the American Revolution”. A little basic, but maybe there’s something about bonnets and petticoats.

Emma had a more elaborate response and answered, “Probably black plague time. 1430’s”. Dakota had a similar interest in historical diseases and responded, “When was yellow-fever? Was that like the 1760’s?”. So, you heard it here folks. It’s confirmed: the freshman have a strange fascination with tragic health epidemics. How fascinating. Rather than quitting while we were ahead, we decided to investigate their thoughts on an iconic, yet controversial, pop-culture icon, Micheal Jackson. Right away, Vishwa said, “Alright, he shouldn’t have molested those kids”. Dakota confessed her obsession and said, “I friggin’ love Micheal Jackson. I know he did bad things, but I love his music. I have all of his records on vinyl”. A true thespian: separating the artist from the art.

The reporters decided that in order to truly immerse themselves in the freshmen culture, they needed to interact with subjects in their natural habitat: the cafeteria. To be completely honest, Bailey and Katherine were a little nervous to engage with the huddled masses. Their fears quickly subsided as a friendly face smiled up at them. 

Tommy. A shining light in the hazy fog of prepubescent insecurities. Greeting us with a swift handshake and a welcoming chuckle, he invited us to sit down. We had no choice but to oblige. Many Magnet newcomers approach the school year with a flurry of fears and expectations, and Tommy was no exception. When questioned about his outlook for the year, he said, “I have a couple of friends that go here and they said that it would be pretty hard, but I think that if I maintain myself, it will be alright. I just need to figure out a good homework schedule.” Unsatisfied with his lack of a polarizing answer, we decided to amp it up. We asked him which teacher scared him the most, knowing that every freshman has one. He responded,

“I really like Mrs. Metzner-Roop, like I think that she is very nice, but she goes kind of fast in class”. Was it wrong that we were hoping that he would implicate himself? No. We are journalists after all. It’s our job. One of the most telling questions a journalist can ask is if the subject is a summer or an autumn. Without hesitation, Tommy responded, “autumn”. Of course you are Tommy, of course you are.

As we looked for our next prey, a group of girls caught our eyes. After inquiring the group for some volunteers, we sat down with Nayna, Emily, and Laura to get the inside scoop. We started them off with the standard expectation question. Emily quickly piped up with “I’m really excited to get a

good education and I’m really excited for spirit week and the football games”. Laura griped, “I heard that there was a lot of homework”. Their attitudes reflected the general views of every incoming class. So far, nothing was out of the ordinary. We carefully selected one of our more polarizing questions for this group, how often did they disrespect their parents, and how did their parents respond. Emily bravely spoke up, saying, “I disrespect them every day. But not on purpose. I don’t know. I get angry a lot. They usually try to take my phone, but then I just log on to my snapchat from my ipad”. Clearly the class of ‘23 is conniving. Nayna responded, “I usually say something rude every day, but they never really do anything”. Our conversation was interrupted because across the cafeteria, we spotted the one and only Grant.

We slowly approached, so as not to startle him. We broke the ice by complementing the math pun on his shirt, which read, “I support farmers. I guess you could call me pro-tractor”.

Clever. For those of you who don’t know, Grant was the former 11 year old freshman. He informed us that he had turned 12 since Summer Scholars. We quickly moved past the niceties in order to ask the important questions that we were all wondering. When asked what grades he skipped, he responded that he skipped two grades. He told us that he skipped “sixth grade, the second semester of seventh grade, and the first semester of eighth”. We asked him how it felt to be the youngest student at the Academic Magnet, to which he responded, “I don’t know. It doesn’t feel like I’m that much younger than everyone”. Perhaps he is just more mature than most 12 year olds. Or maybe the rest of the freshmen are just more immature. We prompted him about his aspirations for the future. He said that his dream schools were “the University of Chicago and MIT”. The conclusion that we gathered from this conversation is that Grant should be an inspiration to us all.

After dipping our toes into the exciting world of the class of ‘23, we decided to get a few quotes from our classmates and Ms. Pinckney. Riley Haas (12) stated that “the freshmen smell bad. I feel like someone needs to introduce them to deodorant”. Nola Webb (10) declared that the freshmen were “slimy!”. After pestering Ms. Pinckney for a comment, she reluctantly stated that the class of 23 is “mysterious.”

After interviewing a solid group of freshmen, it is our unbiased opinion that the whole grade is no worse than the grades before them. They seem like a group of sweet kids with a lot to prove, although there are of course some exceptions. To the class of ‘23: good luck. Enjoy the tumultuous nature of freshman year and watch your back. You never know who your real friends are.

XOXO Katherine and Bailey