Valentine’s Day — a day commemorating the Catholic Saint Valentine for his time spent in jail or a holiday made up by Hallmark? Whatever you believe, nothing can compare to the horror faced by our own AMHS senior Anonymous Alien on V-Day of 2006.

February 13th, 2006: It was 4:00 in the afternoon when Anonymous watched her mother race away with her father in their rusty old sedan. Where was she going? Only time would tell. Little did she know, in the wee hours of the next morn, her own baby sister would be welcomed in the world, ruining her life forever.

Flash forward to 2019. Alien is excited to spend her last Valentine’s Day with her boyfriend, Crap Bucket, before they go off to college. In preparation for the holiday, she has rented out a yacht for the occasion, along with a small string quartet and two fire breathing dragons. She is excited to share her plans with her mother, detailing her extensive holiday event for her special man, when her mother freezes in her steps.

“Valentine’s Day? You’re not going anywhere.”

“MOM!!!!”

“It’s your sister’s birthday.”

Alien curses the day her little sister was ever borned. If it weren’t for her,Alien would be able to finally have the date of her dreams on the greatest day of the year. However, due to the life of her own flesh and blood, her life was ruined.