Welcome, Bachelor fans! In this article, I will be dissecting the past few weeks of Colton’s season, divulging and examining all of the drama and romance ABC has so graciously provided us with. As in my previous article, I will be providing my opinions of the contestants left. (Warning: spoilers ahead.)

This season, it seems Demi is the head pot-stirrer, as she’s already had conflicts with both Tracy and Courtney. She has reigned supreme in both situations, however; Tracy and Courtney were sent home shortly after their respective quarrels. My personal favorite quote of Demi’s is “Dr. Demi cut the cancer [Courtney] out”—I’ve gotta give it to her, she’s a funny one. And the girl has quite the courage: first she tauntingly picked up the group date rose, and then she rode piggyback on Colton for the entirety of the Thailand group date. The final nail in the coffin, however, was Demi sneaking over to Colton’s Vietnam apartment in the pouring rain to tell him she was falling in love with him. Unfortunately for Demi, this sneaky ploy only resulted in her being sent home—shockingly, her feelings were unrequited. Despite her absence, Demi’s unwavering confidence and her complete disregard of common courtesy is not to be forgotten.

Demi’s not the only drama in the house—Elise, the cougar of the group, decided to go home. I must admit, however, the way she went about leaving was quite obnoxious. After getting completely glammed-up in a formal gown and an updo hairstyle, she headed over to Colton’s place to tell him she couldn’t handle him dating other girls in front of her. Um, Elise, what were you expecting when you signed up for this? The Bachelor is literally a reality show based on one guy dating multiple girls at once. Your little dramatic exit may have been entertaining, but the circumstances were unbelievable. If you didn’t think you could handle Colton dating other girls while he dates you, you shouldn’t have agreed to the show in the first place. It’s that simple.

On to our next bit of conflict: Hannah B (Miss Alabama) vs Caelynn (Miss North Carolina). I’m seeing some parallels here between Hannah B’s jealousy of Caelynn’s success in the Miss USA pageant and Hannah B’s jealousy of Caelynn’s success with Colton. Listen, Hannah, competition is inevitable and you don’t need to play the victim in every situation that you don’t come out on top. Oh, and Hannah, you are doing yourself a complete disservice with the creepy rawr sounds you’ve been making. The way to Colton’s heart is not by telling everyone that there’s a beast inside you that is about to come out. (Yes, she literally refers to herself as “Hannah Beast”.)

Then we had the Onyeka versus Nicole squabble. Allegedly, Nicole said she was in The Bachelor for superficial reasons (which I believe to be untrue), so Onyeka told Colton this because she has his “best interest”. Alright, Onyeka, let’s face it: you just wanted one less girl to compete with. Hearing of the situation, Nicole started crying and then accused Onyeka of calling her mentally unstable. Colton was NOT a fan of all of this back-and-forth, middle school-esque drama, and ultimately both Onyeka and Nicole were left roseless.

On top of all this, we had Sydney, the NBA dancer, leave. I applaud her sincerity towards the situation—she saw that Colton favored all of the other girls over her, and had enough self-confidence to withdraw from the competition. It’s clear now that her motives were not fame, but a real quest for love, which is quite admirable in this day and age. Sydney’s candid yet genuine exit was a stark contrast to Elise’s theatrical one, which is all the more reason I appreciated it. There was a bit of drama in the end, though; her final words to Colton included a warning that some of the women were not ready for marriage.

Per Colton’s request, this week’s episode ended without the ceremonial cocktail party, a shock to many viewers. Instead, Colton tells the remaining women he’s terrified to know that there are some contestants who aren’t ready for an engagement. As Tayshia tells the camera, “Colton knows that the tea is brewing and he wants someone to spill the tea.”

That’s all, Bachelor fans! Tune in to my next article for another comprehensive, melodramatic recap of America’s favorite reality show.