Weekly Horoscope

This week we may find ourselves in an energy crisis. Stock up on Green Machine smoothies and Advil, because stress is going to hit with full force in the coming days. However, feel assured under the rays of the Zoomie Zen Comet that everything will work itself out in the end.

Aries

You’ve been stuck inside your thoughts, Aries. It is time to break free from your loud conscience and take a leap back into reality. You probably feel as though you have lots to figure out and you have magnitudes on your mind, but there are other ways of coping with these fatigues. You have a bubble of people around you who are always ready to offer their guidance, support, and shoulders to cry on. Reach out to the people you trust and let them bare some of the weight you’ve been carrying on your own.

Taurus

Between prom attire, tickets, dinner, and transportation your piggy bank has been suffering a tremendous loss. Your financial worries have hindered you from grabbing milkshakes from CookOut with the squad and buying those pink power pumps that would totally amp your feminist style. We have good news! An opportunity to make some moola is coming your way. This new source of income is sure to bring you a more comfortable life style and substantially decrease your financial stress.

Gemini

Everybody makes mistakes everybody has those days everybody knows what, what I’m talkin bout everybody gets that way. Gemini, listen to our late Queen, Hannah Montana, when she says, “Nobody’s perfect!” You’ve been pushing yourself way too hard to be your perfect self and fit into social expectations, when you should be focusing on being your best, happiest, healthiest self. So what if Jen from math class says that pink ugg boots fashioned with bedazzled camo cargo pants is soooo 2007? YOU DO YOU, QUEEN!

Cancer

You’ve finally learned to slow down to a more manageable pace in your school, work, and social lives. You had a lot on your plate last week and juggling all of your activities and responsibilities was no easy task. The stars are so proud of your success and are encouraging you to keep striving. This week may test your abilities, so be sure not to relapse into your old patterns of taking on more than you can handle. Also, make sure to ask for help as soon as you feel overwhelmed or anxious. You got this, Cancer!

Leo

Leo, don’t kid yourself. We all know you aren’t really the best when it comes to having calm, controlled, rational conversations about who would win in a fight, a grilled cheese or a taco. We’ve heard your stance thousands of times: a grilled cheese but only in a fair fight, if it was prison rules you’d put your money on the taco. But, Leo, what if you tried listening to other people’s ideas too instead of blocking out all other insight besides your own. In the big picture, listening, understanding, and offering ideas in a cool manner is much more productive than shouting and getting overly passionate during conversations.

Virgo

Congratulations, Virgo! You were the lucky winner of this week’s zodiac intergalactic getaway. The location of this all inclusive vacation is Planet Jimmy Neutron. You’ll get to hang out with Sheen, Carl Wheezer, and even Mr. Jimmy Neutron himself. Look forward to going on epic adventures that will redefine the laws of science and blow your mind simultaneously. Look forward to this much needed break from reality. Your mind has been racing and stressing overprom, so you’ll be ready to jam with your favorite animated squad on your spacecation! Brain Blast!

Libra

Your life has been a roller-coaster ride these past few weeks, and you are about to reach a peak yet again. Your energy is going to lag until you reach the top, which will test your patience and zen. In order to make it up the hill, you’re going to need extra shots of espresso in your latte and emotional support from your fellow star lovers. Start off the week with optimism and don’t allow discouraging thoughts to enter your system. Negative ions will halt your progress, so remember to think happy thoughts. Just keep swimming, Libra!

Scorpio

This week is the week to show off your creativity, Scorpio! Your urges to sing and draw should be expressed.You may feel like your creativity will prohibit your ability to complete your other daily tasks, but don’t! Everything will be done on time, in fact your creativity will help you. Listen to your creative mind, who knows what your mind will show you.

Saggitarius

This week, issues with your family are preventing you from fulfilling obligations with your friends that you have been dying to go to. When this happens, work to quickly fix the issues at home. However, some issues may take time and it is important to really focus on creating solutions. Who knows, you may have time to hang out with your friends anyways. But your family is of utmost importance this week.

Capricorn

Capricorn, you are known for speaking your mind. Sometimes, your temper gets the best of you and you can’t control it. However, this week you may need to cool your temper to keep stability at both home and at work. Focus on good communication and controlled emotions. This will prevent unneccessary words and statements. But don’t worry, the cosmos are telling you that this will all end soon, just be patient and do the best you can to keep everyone calm, even yourself.

Aquarius

The stress is too much, Aquarius. You’ve been contemplating acting on an idea, which has been blossoming in your head for quite some time. Take this spur of the moment plan and run with it. You’ll rediscover yourself as confident and brave. The stress that has been ruining your cool vibes will vanish and you will be back to your normal down to earth self. Look forward to this transition around the same time that the Zoomie Zen Comet flies by your constellation.

Pisces

You’ll be feeling quite outgoing today, and it’s perfect timing because you’ll encounter an awful lot of terribly intriguing people during the course of the day. Put conversation at the top of your priority list, but be sure to go deeper than typical small talk. Your opinions are going to be challenged, but be sure to defend yourself and your ideas. Also, keep open mind and welcome different perspectives into your psyche. You got this star gazer!

We hope you have a cosmically cool week filled with zen and relaxation.