These choices are in no way correlated with the actual responsibilities of the cabinet position. This is purely satirical, pls don’t come for me.
Secretary of State: Charlie Medlock
Let’s see how anarchy looks in the US government. Keeps things interesting.
Secretary of the Treasurer: Elias McCall
A major upgrade for the current Student Body Treasurer.
Secretary of Defense: Lily O
Me because I’m lowkey defensive tho.
Attorney General: Conolly Burgess
Only because he’s always arguing with me.
Secretary of the Interior: Madeline Nguyen
Maddie’s got an eye for interior design, you should see her room.
Secretary of Agriculture: Prudence Criscolo
Prue is the most genuine lover of the environment I’ve ever seen. Can you revive the dead cactus in my room?
Secretary of Commerce: Christian Nelson
Did y’all know that this man sells shoes on Instagram? Ok mr. entrepreneur, I see you.
Secretary of Labor: Simon Hughes
Simon just recently got a job at the restaurant I work at. He’s a working man.
Secretary of Health and Human Services: Casey Richmond
Pinnacle of health… except for the two lung collapses. Minor inconvenience.
Secretary of Housing and Urban Development: Collin Brientnall
King of being at home instead of in class.
Secretary of Transportation: Adam Rubenstein
Cars are always a topic of conversation with Adam, maybe I’ll ask him to fix the dent in mine.
Secretary of Energy: Marshall Hodges
Sometimes a little too energetic.
Secretary of Education: Ishraq Haque
I trust this man with the education of the nation’s children, frankly I’d probably trust this man with my life.
Secretary of Veterans Affairs: Charles Olsen
Charles basically already knows everything about the military and will likely attend a service academy, so he can watch over the affairs of veterans in his free time. Ligma
Secretary of Homeland Security: Adam Gatch
Can you bench Kim Jong Un?