Seniors as U.S. Cabinet Members

As President, these are my picks


These choices are in no way correlated with the actual responsibilities of the cabinet position. This is purely satirical, pls don’t come for me. 

Secretary of State: Charlie Medlock 

Let’s see how anarchy looks in the US government. Keeps things interesting. 

Secretary of the Treasurer: Elias McCall

A major upgrade for the current Student Body Treasurer. 

Secretary of Defense: Lily O

Me because I’m lowkey defensive tho. 

Attorney General: Conolly Burgess

Only because he’s always arguing with me. 

Secretary of the Interior: Madeline Nguyen 

Maddie’s got an eye for interior design, you should see her room.  

Secretary of Agriculture: Prudence Criscolo 

Prue is the most genuine lover of the environment I’ve ever seen. Can you revive the dead cactus in my room? 

Secretary of Commerce: Christian Nelson 

Did y’all know that this man sells shoes on Instagram? Ok mr. entrepreneur, I see you. 

Secretary of Labor: Simon Hughes

Simon just recently got a job at the restaurant I work at. He’s a working man. 

Secretary of Health and Human Services: Casey Richmond

Pinnacle of health… except for the two lung collapses. Minor inconvenience. 

Secretary of Housing and Urban Development: Collin Brientnall

King of being at home instead of in class. 

Secretary of Transportation: Adam Rubenstein

Cars are always a topic of conversation with Adam, maybe I’ll ask him to fix the dent in mine. 

Secretary of Energy: Marshall Hodges 

Sometimes a little too energetic.

Secretary of Education: Ishraq Haque 

I trust this man with the education of the nation’s children, frankly I’d probably trust this man with my life. 

Secretary of Veterans Affairs: Charles Olsen

Charles basically already knows everything about the military and will likely attend a service academy, so he can watch over the affairs of veterans in his free time. Ligma

Secretary of Homeland Security: Adam Gatch

Can you bench Kim Jong Un?