London Calling, Mrs. Woods Picks Up


Mrs. Woods is going abroad;  it’s her first time leaving the country, and she couldn’t have picked a better reason to go. Benedict Cumberbatch is acting in Hamlet, so Mrs. Woods, as an English teacher and a huge fan, knew she had to go see the tragedy. Essentially, Hamlet is a classic play that portrays a psychological murder mystery; since it is playing in London, attending this event is a dream come true.

Her obsession with Benedict Cumberbatch arose after she watched him playing the role of Sherlock in Sherlock. She loves his cheekbones. Back off Mrs. Woods, he’s married! Other than her main event, Mrs. Woods is excited to do “all the touristy stuff” in England. She’s going to see Westminster Abbey, the Globe Theatre, Oxford, and Stonehenge.

Since it is her first trip to England, I wanted to make sure she was familiar with the British slang. She says that people “certainly don’t want to talk about shagging there!”, so I quizzed her on a few British slang words:

Q: What do you think ‘barmy’ means?

A: Old!

Sorry Mrs. Woods, it means crazy!

Q: If someone says ‘who blew off?’, what are they referring to?

A: Who told somebody off?

Nope. It means, ‘Who farted?’

Q: You probably want to ‘snog’ Benedict Cumberbatch.

A: Ooh, Kiss him!

She was very enthusiastic about this answer!

Q: If you see England native, Harry Styles, will you promise to get his autograph and a picture with him?

A: Yes, I know exactly who that is. I’ll make a fool of myself just for you.

Unfortunately, Mrs. Woods will be missing spirit week to see her dearest Benedict, but we wish her the best of luck!