Seniors as Instagram Models

It's never too late to metamorphosize into a beautiful social media butterfly.

In recent years, there has been a sweeping movement throughout Instagram in which young and attractive women act as “models” to produce posts saturated with cheap product-placement. Devoting countless hours toward outfit selection, photo shoots, and makeup, these models take their frivolous jobs very seriously. However, sometimes that arduous routine is not enough to cultivate the online attention that they need in order to support their high standard of living. A quick and reliable fix? FaceTune.

If you are unfamiliar with the FaceTune, it is one of the most popular mobile photoshopping applications. Instagram models are notorious for their dependency on this app, and the addiction is gradually becoming a concerning crisis; models are reaching extremes as they fabricate completely new subjects of their photos, FaceTuning themselves to the point where they are unrecognizable.

Fascinated by such odd human behavior, I took it upon myself to FaceTune several volunteers from the Academic Magnet Class of 2019. Here are the results:

 

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  • Chase Mitchum AKA Maxwell Chapman. 21, lives in Malibu. Favorite hobby: Obsessively organizing the produce section of local Whole Foods, if he's not too busy cyber-bullying lower-tier social media influencers.

  • Hannah O AKA Sabrina Fleming. 19 years old, lives in Seattle. Favorite hobbies: Instagram livestreams featuring her obscure guitar-playing, and visiting indie coffee shops.

  • Carrie Metts AKA Candida Fitzgerald. 15 but she looks 23. Lives in Park Circle, Charleston, SC. Favorite hobby: smearing paint on strangers' property and calling it a statement piece.

  • Bryan Bracy AKA Pierre Beauparlant. 25 years old, lives in Normandy, France. Hobbies include horticulture and writing scripts for indie films.
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    Elly Durante AKA Willow Callahan. 20 years old, lives in Asheville, NC. Favorite hobbies: reposting posts for social activism and treating medical ailments with herbal remedies.

  • Alanah Colestock AKA Nicole Sweeney. 19, lives in Atlantic City, New Jersey. Hobbies include stealing her boyfriend's sweatshirts and visiting the tanning salon.

  • Rachel Walmet AKA Eleanor Tuttle. 22 years old and lives in Manchester, England. Favorite hobbies: Petting dogs at farmer's markets and working out to maintain her *natural* figure.

  • Janie O'Shea AKA McKaylee Driscoll. 18 year old, lives in Salt Lake City, Utah. Her only hobby is chugging Fit Tea.

  • Malia Borg AKA Angelica Roker. 24 years old, resides in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. Favorite hobbies: swimming in her heated pool and stealing bracelets from Forever 21.

  • Elizabeth Moseley AKA Liza Rose Swan. Her age is mysteriously unknown, she lives in Syracuse, New York. Favorite hobbies: spoiling her dog with presents and collecting candles.

  • Greta Waits AKA Lilly Lockhart. 19 years old, lives in New Orleans, Louisiana. Her favorite hobbies are listening to angsty music and writing detailed Yelp reviews on restaurants.

  • Josh Cumins AKA Emmanuel McCann. 22, lives in Lisbon, Portugal. Hobbies include: biking through the countryside and pretending to be a wine connoisseur.

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