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KyLie jENneR Pergnat??????

Isabel Root, Staff Writer

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A team of elite investigators has been following this case for the past two years: is Kacie Jenner pregnant? Thus far, the evidence has been inconclusive, but there is still a strong indicator that there is bread in the oven. Petti Knuus, premier reporter for Daily Mail, uncovered a ground breaking picture of King Kiely’s grocery store check-out. Using image enhancement technology provided by Android, we have discovered traces of food products in her cart. While our sources are highly credited, they are no biologists so we had to consult a doctor to confirm any conclusions. Drawing from the knowledge of Dr. Rinu Plasti, a prestigious plastic surgeon with direct ties to Karlie’s lips, it has been confirmed that, despite any unnatural modifications to her own body, she must eat food to sustain any life she carries. Obviously, her normal diet of wigs and the wasted time of other Americans would not cut it if she was carrying a child, so she is definitely with child based on the chips in her item check out. Despite the undeniable evidence, Kelly has come forward to claimed that some images are blatantly photoshopped, a practice frowned upon by the investigation, which seeks to preserve the integrity of its subject matter and never compromising that for a profit.

The questions we now need to be asking ourselves amid rapid global development and conflict, is not whether Kyle is pregnant, but whether the child is a girl or boy. The color pink has been featured on her story along with cryptic messages such as “I love pink” or “this color is good,” direct indicators of a female child. On the other hand, she also wore the color blue so maybe she is having a boy. Right now, we don’t have the answers to these questions but the team is currently investing in a remote ultrasound machine and even more unnecessary news coverage to get to the bottom of this. Stay tuned.

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