The show Spongebob Squarepants was created by Steve Hillenburg and first aired on July 17, 1999. Today, it is widely regarded as the best children’s show ever made by anyone in existence. Sadly, the show’s creator has recently publicized that he has been diagnosed with ALS. Heartbroken by this news, I was compelled to have my fellow peers remember the glory days of Spongebob (seasons 1-3) and vote on the greatest episodes of all time.

The results of this tournament were determined by popular vote from Spongebob fans in the junior and senior classes because anyone younger can’t relate. The pairings were randomly generated.

The first round had sixteen episodes:

Band Geeks vs. Sailor Mouth – Band Geeks wins.

The Idiot Box vs. Survival of the Idiots – Survival of the Idiots wins.

Frankendoodle vs. Squirrel Jokes – Frankendoodle wins.

No Weenies Allowed vs. Club Spongebob – Club Spongebob wins.

Pizza Delivery vs. I’m Your Biggest Fanatic – Pizza Delivery wins.

The Camping Episode vs. Procrastination – The Camping Episode wins.

Texas vs. Spongebob 129 – Spongebob 129 wins (cult classic.)

Ripped Pants vs. Rock Bottom – Rock Bottom wins (good.)

There weren’t really any upsets in this round. I was sad to see personal favorites Procrastination and I’m Your Biggest Fanatic lose, but they had quite unfair competition, so it was expected.

The second round also had sixteen episodes because people complained that I was missing a lot of the greats from the first round:

Band Geeks vs. Survival of the Idiots – Band Geeks wins (of course.)

Frankendoodle vs. Club Spongebob – Frankendoodle wins (this is stupid because doodlebob is kind of overrated and the Magic Conch holds a soft spot in my heart.)

Pizza Delivery vs. The Camping Episode – Pizza Delivery wins.

Rock Bottom vs. Spongebob 129 – Rock Bottom wins (hardest choice I’ve ever had to make, but I valued the nostalgia of Rock Bottom over the novelty of SB-129.)

Graveyard Shift vs. Just One Bite – Graveyard Shift wins.

Wet Painters vs. Snowball Effect – Wet Painters wins.

Chocolate with Nuts vs. One Krab’s Trash – Chocolate with Nuts wins (sad to see Smitty Werbenjagermanjensen lose out, for he was Number 1.)

Shanghaied vs. Mermaidman and Barnacle Boy IV – Shanghaied wins (one of my favorites.)

After many tough choices, sweat, and tears, only eight of the most classic episodes were able to advance to the Elite Eight. Sometimes things happen in life that make us upset, and this round was one of these things. Here was the results:

Band Geeks vs. Frankendoodle – Band Geeks (University of Kansas) wins.

Pizza Delivery vs. Rock Bottom – Pizza Delivery wins (Rock Bottom is my favorite episode, so I had trouble coming to terms with this.)

Graveyard Shift vs. Wet Painters – Wet Painters wins by one vote.

Chocolate with Nuts vs. Shanghaied – Chocolate with Nuts wins (also broke my heart.)

Now it’s time for the Final Four. The four best Spongebob episodes will go head to head to determine who will face off in the championship round. Here are the finalists:

Band Geeks vs. Pizza Delivery – Band Geeks wins.

Wet Painters vs. Chocolate with Nuts – Chocolate with Nuts wins.

The championship round. Who will be named the greatest Spongebob episode of all time? Is it Chocolate with Nuts, an episode which sees Spongebob and Patrick pursued by Bikini Bottom’s most crazed chocolate lover as they go door to door selling chocolates? Is it the episode where Spongebob dreams of having a swimming pool in his swimming pool? Or is it Band Geeks, an episode which sees Squidward attempt to bring together the citizens of Bikini Bottom to play for the Bubble Bowl only to find that they aren’t sure whether or not mayonnaise is an instrument?

Band Geeks wins (I saw that coming from a mile away.)