Academic Magnet High School - North Charleston, South Carolina.

THE TALON

Slater Wins Billabong Pro with a Whopping Score of 19.67 Brahs

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“Brah, the waves were firing. I took so many late drops, rode the barrels, got spit out of ’em, WAPAAH!” Kelly stated after winning his final. His opponent, John John Florence chimed in on Kelly’s amazing performance, stating, “Brooooooooo, it was soooooo heavy. Dude the waves were MACKING. I don’t care that I lost. I got some of the best pits of my life.” The final was sick. Florence got score of 15.23 tubulars. But Kelly asserted his dominance with a score of 19.67 gnars. With one of the highest scores of the year, Slater showed that he is still the best surfer in the world. Even at the age of 44, Kelly rips like no other.

Announcer Joe Turpel claimed it was one of the best heats he had ever seen. He said, “It’s a buggery that the contest is over. The waves were nectar man. I wish I could have been out there to hang-ten with them. The waves were EPIC, but I was stuck here announcing the heat. I need a vacation.” Another commentator, Ross Williams, said the contest was “Raaaaaaaaaaaaaad.” Overall, the Billabong Pro was a terrific showdown between Slater and Florence.

Note: Although none of these quotes were actually said by any of the surfers/commentators in this article, they were implied during their broadcast. Peace out dudes.

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